this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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[–] Vilian 83 points 11 months ago (1 children)

there's a difference between traumadumping and sharing some trauma/sorrow/sadness. i compare it with my girlfriend, her family is composed of the worse human beings i ever encountered in this shit hole of earth, and if she said to me be every shit that they do every day that hapoen with them, it start fucking with me, my mental, my capability to help her, my emotional etc, that's why she go to the therapist, so she don't share every day shit that her family do and making me worry and only say to me things that matter

but she started working and studying now, so she spend less and less time with them, leaving less time for them to be assholes, what help me alot

[–] [email protected] 54 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

As someone who never heard of the term before, I assume that if traumadumping was just sharing trauma then it wouldn't be called trauma dumping.

The overwhelming nature is what makes it dumping, as I'm your example.

[–] Laticauda 62 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Traumadumping isn't just telling your friends about your problems, it's using them as a sole emotional crutch and putting them in a position emotionally that they aren't equipped to handle, while a therapist is equipped to handle it and in fact that is their job. Therapists shouldn't be so expensive imo they should be included in health care (which should be universal everywhere in a better world just sayin), and going to a therapist doesn't mean you can't share your woes with your friends but it can teach you healthier ways to do so.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

I firmly believe setting boundaries like depicted in the screenshot is a healthy thing to do. However you're feeling you can't dump that on the same people day after day when they have their own shit to deal with, even if they love you

[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

I love Oscar Wilde’s quotes. They have a poignancy that rarely matched in English language, in my experience.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

#transcription

slicedblackolives

"stop traumadumping to your friends tell this to your therapist" my god theypaywalled human connection

big-edies-sun-hat

"If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did notinvite me to it, I should not mind a bit. but if a friend of mine had a sorrow and refused to allow me to share it, I should feel it most bitterly. If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me, I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted so that I might share in what I was entitled to share. If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him, I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation"
Oscar Wilde

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Oscar Wilde was a drama queen 😉

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Sometimes it helps to have someone get dramatically offended on your behalf.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I haven't actually read it, but I think De Profundis is traumadumping, right?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I left a discord server because their mods would delete anything that got too real. Like, it was so bad, you couldn't actually have a conversation in any of the channels. If you weren't just making one-liner jokes or posting memes, the conversation would be deleted by a mod and you'd be threatened with a ban.

All because their reasoning was "we are not therapists. Our users are not therapists." No shit. But friends talk to each other, too. I suppose being discord mods, they've never actually had any friends to know that, though.