this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Elon is really the type of dude to think that getting muscle implants and taking steroids the day before a fight will actually make him stronger.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (3 children)

And zuck is the kind of guy who has read every single wikipedia article relevant to martial arts, and now considers himself an unbeatable juggernaut who can execute every technique with perfection.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To be fair, he can probably execute a couple of techniques with okay results. I can't imagine he needs more than that.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think he is actually trained in BJJ

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He's very well trained in a few fighting styles, perks of having unlimited money and the time and space to dedicate to it. Hopefully he can try to balance the scales of all the wrong he's done to the world by X'ing out Musk

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If Musk gets KOd he will never be free of the accusations that Zucc gave him brain damage.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Zuck def trains and flys out people to train him lol. He seemingly takes it fairly seriously.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Zucc has been training for years. He genuinely fights. He's going to kick the shit out of Musk.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Wake me up when one of them decapitates the other with an ancient gladius. I don't care which one.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 year ago

It's unfortunately going to be the least violent mma match in history. Zuck is 100% going to standing guillotine elon in like a minute. If we are lucky elon will be to stupid to tap and falls asleep.

The difference between someone who actually trains and a out of shape 50 year old with no training is so much more then people understand. Even Zuckerberg doing low level small bjj comps give him a ridiculous advantage.

I am guessing no state in America would sanction Elon taking a fight. Hints Italy.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

i get less ads on facebook telling me to kill myself for being trans so I want Zuck to win

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There is no way this is real.. right?

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 year ago

Neat, hope they die

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"epic location"

bro, our cage match should totally look like a Dark Souls arena

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I loved the part of Markus, Prince of Zucker's boss fight when you get him to half health and he groans in pain, starts softly laughing, and then the environment around you fades away to reveal you've been in the Metaverse this whole time and he changes his body to become a towering knight with a flaming greatsword while an orchestra and a latin choir starts chanting.

"'Tis one path and one path only to thy goal, and I shall not yield to thee. Thy curiosity will never be sated, gazing into the Metanexus. I beseech three - begone, or prepare for torment unending."

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Bazinga Brain Thunderdome. Two morons enter. One moron leaves.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Zuck is not a moron. He's cunning evil.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Counterpoint: Meta

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Sadly he'll probably win the fight then as Elon is a wimp and very dub.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (3 children)

There's no purpose in quantifying who is more evil, but Musk is 1000% more obnoxious so for this one night 👐🔵 Zuck take my energy and make him bleed. Killing is too much to ask for, but give that transphobe permanent brain damage and I'll make a FB post.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Zucc used to be super annoying but he sorta realized eventually that it's best if he just shuts the fuck up and uses his money instead. Musk has only gotten louder so we can't really remember how annoying Zucc used to be

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

inshallah-scriptMusk gets a TBI and dies.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Critical support to PM Giorgia Meloni for letting these dorks fight in il Colosseo, and planning to feed them both to live lions and bears afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Italy aiming for a strong 2nd place in the World Billionaire Killing Championships.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Italy saw the horseshoe theory meme and thought "hey we should get in on this."

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It would be great if they both die.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

The best possible outcome.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago

'Everything done will pay respect to the past and present of Italy, particularly 1922-1943!'

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (4 children)

italian communists, you have a chance to do something extremely funny. hell, even a right-wing Sicilian separatist could

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just relistened to the Dollop 3 parter on Steven Segall last night and damn if that isn't just how rich morons work.

Everything is just "ohhhh I'll fight you" and then it happens and they shit their pants.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Didn't he get shaken down by the mob once in a restaurant and he got his ass kicked?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

He was a mob patsy from day one lol, his first $500k was a loan from the mob

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fight on? Fight off. Fight on? Fight off. Fight on? Fight off. Fight on? Fight off. Fight on? Fight off. Fight on? Fight off. Fight on? Fight off.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

I know he is evil but i hope zuck destroys him

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Paying respect to the past of Italy, such as the privatized fire department grifter that would arrange for houses to burn down so he could coerce the owners into selling the burning buildings for cheap to him scared-fash

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

All proceeds go to veterans of the 2023 Battle for Rome.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

everything done will pay respect to the past and present of italy

spaghetti slap fight in the hole they threw mussolini into lets gooooooooooo

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Can the loser’s company be seized and turned over to public control and ownership?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Musk is literally networking with the Italian fascists now then.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Lol RETVRN to getting my ass kicked

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

things that will absolutely never occur

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

he's going to back out again by next week tops

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

~~The Rumble in the Jungle~~

The Cringe-Off in the Colosseum

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