chapotraphouse

Here's some (CW)

"All women of every race can be beautiful,"

"And I know some of you are sitting there now going, 'Oh OP, yeah, but I've never seen a beautiful Aborigine'.

"Yeah, but you know what you say? You say 'yet'. That's what you say; 'yet'. Because you haven't seen all of them, right?

"Plus it's not always about looks. Maybe Aborigine women do special things? Maybe they'll just like, jump on top of you?"

You then go on to mimic the sound of a didgeridoo while miming oral sex.

Or

gay people wouldn't mind 30-year prison sentences because gay sex.

How about

Everyone knows what should have been done people on the radio, people on the news- 'You know these bloody police. These bloody police have gotten out of hand they're busy shooting people. why didn't they use rubber bullets why didnt they use rubber bullets and tear gas?'

Cause those things don't work anymore. They used it the whole week and they couldn't control people so they had to come with ammunition because those guys had weapons.

Plus tear gas is a waste of time. Which strike has ever ended because of tear gas

Oh sorry, those are just Trevor Noah's jokes

I identify as an attack helicopter. Immediately drafted. Crash over open ocean during joint Aus/USA Exercise Talisman Sabre operations

Roaming gangs of women should be allowed to step on men (physically) and berate them at the same time in the name of equality and smashing patriarchy

Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesfyesyesyrsyesyesyesyesyesyesyeseyedyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyedyedyrsyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

But also they should step on other women too like me 🥺

All jokes aside, I can't imagine a task more joyless and soul crushing than trying to make a conservative laugh.

Do you know the one about the attack helicopter? Funniest shit I've ever heard.

Fuck you this made me laugh

First one is your opener for sure, then you can segway into some family court jokes.

The LGBTSA is a winning idea from a security AND morale perspective.

Who knows better where you can cram contraband, and it will be nice to see someone enjoy the patdown for once.

The homophobic Muslim bit should end with the two of them making out

Roaming gangs of women should be allowed to step on men physically

"No fault divorce is the worst thing ever. Fellas, when you marry your woman, she is yours. It's like the day you bring home a new rescue dog - you picked them, now they're yours. They don't just get to leave, m I rite guys?"

That hurt to type im sorry

Father introduces different son and daughter each year at Christmas party (the kid changes gender and age annually)

Honestly we love to see it, genderfluid pog