this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2025
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And in either case, you'd have lice

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[–] ininewcrow 37 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Are you kidding? .... you'd most likely be one of the still born children that died at birth because being born before the modern age was a miracle that was only overcome by having as many children as possible.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I love how in Kingdom Come Deliverance when you play on hard mode, you usually die a couple times before the game even starts.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Yes, you die from a cough, a splinter that gets infected, or your brother throwing a rock at you.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

then you die of cholera

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Maybe you already died a few times and you keep re-incarnating until you arrived in the present.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

The past sucked. The present sucks too, but the past sucked. We can still do better, but we could do worse too and I think that's important to consider when trying to avoid going back to that, but crucially, we really shouldn't want to go back, because - in case the point hasn't been emphasised enough - the past sucked.

(But not in the fun way. Probably. Actually, do we have any records on the topic of fellatio? I'd not be surprised in the least if the past contained quite some sucking in that sense too.)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

What a legend, to deliver a serious answer on a blowjob joke. I continue to be in awe.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

My God, what a read. Seems that kink and prudishness are both ancient and timeless.

I wonder if, one day, a future historian will get to answer the question "Do we have evidence for Furries in the early digital age?"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

lmao, we actually have quite a bit on the topic of fellatio. Let me grab an old now-public-domain source I have, it's on the Classical world specifically, but you might enjoy it if you can endure the hoity-toity 19th century tone

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

I'd totally be a billionaire if I lived on the 21st century

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm the middle ages it was a sign of wealth and nobility if you owned a coat and boots.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Hi the middle ages, I'm dad.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Poor people were forbidden from wearing most animal furs by sumptuary laws. Cats were as high-class as you were allowed to go as a filthy poor in late medieval England. Hence the phrase "more than one way to skin a cat" - cat skinning was, indeed, a means of making money...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just keep resetting until you get a good spawn.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe we did. Maybe reincarnation is a thing, and we died enough times until we arrived in the present and stopped dying. Who knows? 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Got some bad news if you think you are going to avoid death on this run...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

I advise modern medicine. I believe there are shampoos they offer

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

just get a friend to pick them off and eat them.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh get a friend? Just get a friend?? Why don't I just strap on my friend helmet, and squeeze down into a friend cannon, and fire off into friend land where friends grow on friendies!?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

What do you mean? I just drag mine in from the street?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And the conscripts were just fodder. They'd be pulled off the farms and forced into ranks and issued a sharp stick. You'd be lucky to get a spear with an actual metal point, because refined metal was scarce and expensive, and nobody expected you to live long enough to be worth investing resources in.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Not quite the case. While your life didn't mean much, generally speaking, the limitations on military action in the pre-modern period come down to logistics - ie how many troops can be fed in a field army at once.

When there's a limit to what you can do with numbers, you have to put some effort into quality. So SOME amount of equipment was considered necessary - the idea of the mass peasant levy carrying pitchforks and clubs only really comes into play for the most small-scale of intrafeudal and clan wars and the like, and even then, not always - unmotivated troops are quick to collapse against well-armed enemies. There are incidents of some particularly poorly-thought-out peasant rebellions being eliminated by mounted knights that they outnumber 20-1, or more, simply because, in a pitched battle, equipment and training DOES make a massive difference.

Even the uglier and more primitive forms of pre-modern states would generally see troops sent into battle with, at minimum, a metal-tipped spear and a shield. Even as far back as Ancient Egypt.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

The past sucked. Can't even shitpost on the internet.

A man who never shitpost on Lemmy is never a whole man

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I totally wouldn't just be another slave in the Roman empire. (Insert overly specific knowledge here)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

"Ah, a slave!"

"I'm no slave! I'm the best damn astronomer/engineer/singer/underwater basket-weaver you've ever met!"

"Oh, so you're a VALUABLE slave?"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Always look on the bright side of life!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Take me back to 1999 and let smartphones never be invented. I'd be happy with that.

The knock-on effects of all electronics being combined into one device and the expectation to always be online have been a disaster for the human race 😁

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

In the present we live like kings with the power level of a peasant.