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The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/Cold_Confection_4154 on 2025-01-19 17:02:31+00:00.
I have empathy for really bad stuff happening to people, but not every day, trivial shit.
For example, my mom is one of those people who constantly craves attention (covert narcissist.) She's 73 years old and has loads of energy. I'm talking active social life, loves to shop just for fun, takes trips several times a year, etc. She messaged me a few hours ago complaining that her flight was delayed for an hour. I said that's not bad at all. She replied "to just sit there?" I said you don't have to sit, you could walk around if you want. Then she said she's hungry and light headed. I said so eat something (is it really that hard to figure out???) She said something about i was being short and I said what do you want me to say? She replied that I should say I love her and will miss her. I literally just yesterday asked why she has to be gone for two months (even though when shes here she does nothing for me except offer to take me out to eat.) But nothing I say is ever enough. Meanwhile, I'm expected to take the bare minimum, emotionally. She has very little empathy for me and has insinuated that I lack motivation, among other hurtful comments. Another irritating thing is that she claims that she reacts to gluten, yet she keeps on eating it off and on. What I wouldn't give for my symptoms to be resolved just by avoiding gluten! (It gives me headaches and rashes and I do avoid it religiously.) Does anyone deal with such a person in their life? It's clear she wants sympathy just because she's getting older, in spite of the fact that she has way more energy and functionality than I do. She's always telling me I should have more faith, too. She's never had to deal with a chronic illness, much less one this debilitating. I never even said that I don't believe in God anymore, I was just simply expressing my frustration, which anyone would. But negative emotions are not allowed (unless it's her throwing a tantrum about a minor inconvenience, of course.) If I cuss it's the end of the world--but she herself cusses on a regular basis. She likes to say "I'm tired too"- as if a normal person's "tiredness" in any way compares to ours. I've said over and over that it's like the flu and I guess she thinks I'm just exaggerating. It's getting really old and I know I just have to shut up about my illness because I'll never get the support I need from her. By the way, she's the only family I have. My dad passed away and I'm pretty sure she talked bad about me to all my relatives because they don't talk to me. Cutting her off is not an option because I'll be cut out of her will and I'm single and I don't know what's going to happen to me. When my kids are 18 ill have zero income unless I get better. I guess I just have to suck it up with her but it's just so irritating and hurtful.