Excellent post, thank you for the laugh!
Here's some context: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5000
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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Secure
The Foundation secures anomalies with the goal of preventing them from falling into the hands of civilian or rival agencies, through extensive observation and surveillance and by acting to intercept such anomalies at the earliest opportunity.
Contain
The Foundation contains anomalies with the goal of preventing their influence or effects from spreading, by either relocating, concealing, or dismantling such anomalies or by suppressing or preventing public dissemination of knowledge thereof.
Protect
The Foundation protects humanity from the effects of such anomalies as well as the anomalies themselves until such time that they are either fully understood or new theories of science can be devised based on their properties and behavior. The Foundation may also neutralize or destroy anomalies as an option of last resort, if they are determined to be too dangerous to be contained.
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Now, where did i put my suit...?
This message was approved by the Ethics Committee I assume?
