this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2025
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And Finally...

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A flatulent whale sparked fears Russian spy drones were spying on UK nuclear submarines on behalf of Vladimir Putin.

The suspected farting was twice picked up by Navy sensors that had been scanning key locations around the UK to see if the country's enemies were spying on top military vessels. The sound initially raised concerns that Putin's drones had dropped a device on the seabed between between Applecross in North West Scotland and the Isle of Raasay.

The stinky vibrations were first spotted moving toward the open sea and away from the range. It returned a few days later before travelling south toward the Skye Bridge until it turned around and left.

An unnamed naval official told The Sun: "We have been analysing the sounds and now believe it was a marine mammal. A whale.” Another source told the outlet: "We are taking it very seriously. We have to assume the worst."

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean who hasn't made that mistake..

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

I swear it wasn't me! It was the drone!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Bit rude.

I could lose a couple of pounds, sure, but first Greenpeace tried to ‘rescue’ me and now this when I was having a swim!

Ooh, hold on to your trampolines, I’ve got another one brewing!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

whale must have caught norovirus coming out our shit filled rivers.