this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2025
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submitted 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Some woman I never met told me point blank at the gym that I should pray more. After staring at her in disbelief for ten solid seconds, she told me I had a disability because I had sinned. Obviously.

So I asked her why I should pray a God that disabled me: she told me God loved me and had a plan for me. Tough love I guess. But hey, if there's a plan...

Then I asked her if my limbs would grow back if I prayed enough: no she said, but it's not too late to let Jesus into my life.

Well that made total sense. I'm off to church then...

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 7 hours ago (4 children)

I have had many people over the years tell me without any kind of prompting that "I need Jesus."

"Yes," is my stock response. "I know I'm fresh out. I'll pick up some more at the store on the way home."

It usually gets them out of my face.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago

Jesus was deported by ICE though

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago

I'll have to reuse that one 🙂

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

"Don't you have time for our lord and saviour?"

"I still haven't finished reading the Times, I'll drop by them when I'm done"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Do you prefer your Jesus to be fried or sauteed?

[–] [email protected] 55 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

I've told people prayer is a lack of faith, that you believe your god made the wrong decisions in their plan for someone and are now giving god advice on how to correct their mistake.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 hours ago

Prayer (or at least praying for anything) is honestly the most arrogant thing anyone can do. It presupposes the existence of omniscient and omnipotent being, typically one with a grand plan and endless love.

Then you're asking them to change all of that just because you fucking asked them to.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Agree absolutely, but they will reply "God is testing our faith". I forgot how to disprove that specific circular argument now so I will get into it again...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

Sounds like something a narcissist would do.

How do you interpret purposely causing someone pain just to see if they come running to you for help as "goodness"?

Maybe I'll go home and punch my wife to test her love.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Should have told her you "Prayed she would go away."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago

"Dear God, save me from this cunt."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

"shoulda started masturbating right there. commenting, 'this is how we pray to biggusdickus', or something."

<reads "arms grow back">

Shit.

In any case, yeah. it always amazes me the logic behind prayer, and how everything bad is your fault because "sin".... but everything good is because god did something. they can't say what. but, you got that promotion because of god. you're still alive. cuz god. you're kids got a's. cuz god. it has absolutely nothing to do with hardwork and taking care of yourself, none at all. it's all god. unless its bad. then it's definitely your fault.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago

You think thats funny?

Wait until biggusdickus hears about this.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

“shoulda started masturbating right there. commenting, ‘this is how we pray to biggusdickus’, or something.”

With 15 other people in the gym room, I don't think so. But amusing thought nonetheless 🙂

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

It's communion!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 hours ago

Why? Are you shy or something? 🙂