this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
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[–] [email protected] 144 points 3 days ago (1 children)

the balls penised cockfully down the stairs

[–] [email protected] 99 points 3 days ago (2 children)

balls don't penis, dicks penis.

Balls sack nuttily.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 days ago

Writing is such an elegant craft.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Is that the sound they make when you go down the stairs at just the right cadence and get like a clop clop clop

[–] [email protected] 87 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I mean. I'd read that shit. Gimme skimpy armour for both men and women, stop didcriminating ;)

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I love the videogames that, rather than stop making skimpy armor, have simply made all armor unisex

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Now i just wish ffVIX would update all the old gear to be unisex instead of just adding new unisex gear.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Don't leave us on a cliffhanger. I need to know what happened to this man's balls

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They swung around too much and got run over by a bus.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago

Now I wish I hadn't asked 🙁

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

how the fuck do you know so much about my old-man balls?!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I would love it. Now add something about dick size.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As he walked to the stove and reached for his favorite lace- adorned apron, he stumbled, not for the first time that day or even that hour, over the flacid, garden hose-like cock that dragged on the floor behind him between his legs. It was as thick as his powerful forearms and twice as veiny, and tended to slap around his ankles when he walked too fast.

Usually he had to thread it through one pant leg or the other, and then wrap it around his calf a few times and stuff the end into his boot to keep from dirtying it outside, so when he was home it was a relief to let it whip around freely. Sometimes, when he stood at the stove for many hours and it pulled heavily at his taint, he would drape it around his neck like a feather boa, and feel pretty.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

flacid, garden hose-like cock that dragged on the floor behind him between his legs.

🤣🤣🤣

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago

I, too, mourn the loss of my balls' boisterousness. I feel seen.

[–] phx 23 points 3 days ago

His undergarments settled gracefully about his ankles, revealing his manly glory. Like a Sphinx-Cat it stood proudly with its head held high above the two shaven and wrinkled spheres that adorned it.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 days ago

Fortunately this is how a lot of gay erotic fiction reads.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

His mostly shaven ball sacks looked like the skin of a Shar-Pei dog, their eerie wobble mesmerized me like a deer caught in the headlights of a 1982 GMC Vandura...

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago

They do, in fact.

Time to introduce some people to the “Romantasy” genre it seems!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

… he thought as he balled testily down the stairs

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

He shouldn't go down the stairs with his balls while angry. Increased torsion risk

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

I feel personally attacked, how does he know exactly what by balls look like and how I feel about their aged inadequacies.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

I laughed way too hard at this.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Idk man I’d be up for that tbh

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

you mean like fanfiction?