"I'm not here to fuck spiders" - said by Australians who want to drop the preamble and get down to business.
this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2025
63 points (97.0% liked)
Asklemmy
46954 readers
910 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
And here I was, just assuming that to be true about most people...
How inconsiderate of me.
load more comments
(1 replies)
That's hilarious, I should try that out
Nah, surprise everyone.
Leap into the room, exclaim "I'm here to fuck spiders", then drop trou and hump a cobweb.
Keep the bastards guessing
"There's more than one way to skin a cat."
- You have a cat.
- You wish to remove its skin.
- You realize there's more than just one method to accomplish this unusual task.
- You state this proudly as a metaphor for problem-solving flexibility.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Does the pope shit in the woods?
A humerous combo of 'Do bears shit in the woods?' and 'Is the Pope Catholic?' Which are two jokey ways of saying 'Yeah, obviously, duh'.
My wife used to work in the backcountry. Lots of unpaved remote roads. Bears apparently do not shit in the woods. They shit on the road.
Do they, or did someone put a road through a bear's outhouse?
Ironically, from a truck driver I learned bears seem to shit an awful lot in the roadway.
But does the pope shit in the woods?
No, but bears are catholic
No, he's trapped in the pope mobile , that thing isn't equipped for offroad travel
Dollars to donuts.
WTF does it even mean?
I'm so sure that this thing will happen, that I'm willing to make a bet whereby I'll pay you dollars if it doesn't happen, and you pay me donuts if it does. I feel like I'm getting free donuts and my dollars are not at risk.
Well, back in the day, a doughnut cost a lot less than a donut.
So, betting dollars against donuts would be a bad idea.
Not that it was ever a betting term, it just condone contains a reference to betting.
It's like saying "hey, lets get dinner. You give me a twig for every dollar I put in."
You're either exchanging something of unequal value, or making an "investment" where you get very little return on it.
"scientists say..."
They aren't some unified entity. They don't even agree amongst themselves on most things if one digs deep enough. While there is some interpretation of the data involved, most people that use the phrase "Scientists say..." are essentially saying "Objective observations done by several of the smartest humans have been argued over by several of their rivals resulting in..."
Like, we should start calling them something like Observational Data Warriors โข /s to put perspective on the magnitude of information and depth involved. You can have an opinion but you are a coward of no relevant value if you are not trained for battle and fighting on the front lines. So whatever nonsense you have to say results in you looking like a clown of no note.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Taking God's name in vain
- You invoke God on some topic you're wrong about.
- God appears and sees your worthless comment.
- ????
- God punishes you, or he backs away, or he learns to not listen to you anymore in boy cries wolf type situation? Its really not clear what the repercussions are.
No, no, it was originally "Taking God's name in vein," as saying the name of God out loud would allow Him into your blood. If you say the name of God, you allow him to inhabit your blood, gain your power, and become even more mighty. The ancient Hebrews feared God gaining too much power, as He would be able to destroy the world. Then Christians figured out that if they took Communion and instead drank the blood of Christ, they could reverse the Hebrew God's power and slowly increase their own until they could ascend to the heavens and do battle with the Almighty, empowered by His blood in their veins, rather than weakened by taking His name in vein. In this seventeen-part essay, I will describe how we can defeat God by
This is mind blowing if true. Is this real? What's going on here? Are you serious?
yes everything you read on the Internet is true.
Thank you. I thought so.
But seriously. I thought this might be another Tower of Babylon incident. I could definitely see this playing out early on during the vestiges of the mythological era. I was also feeling asleep.
Note to self. Don't comment when falling asleep.
load more comments
(1 replies)
This lore makes more sense than the bible.
The bible is a collection of thousands of years of oral history and societal laws put to paper generations after the fact, allegory and letters to random fuckers and varying accounts of a Jewish cult leader who was executed for crimes against the state. It's gonna have a potted narrative.
That's one that always bothered me too. When I say "Jesus fucking Christ" I mean it. Which is it's own weird ism when you think about it...
load more comments
(3 replies)
You can lead a whore to water, but you can't make her douche.
Yap, still guessing
"it'll be a bloodbath in there!" *used for anything political wise.