This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
Right... My favorite "promise" so far was the Tesla SpaceX edition (with rocket boosters or microjets or some shit, IDK doesn't make sense) and die-hard fans defending this PR stunt as "the car that might fly".
lol right. tesla cars can't even tell the difference between a painting on a wall and the actual road.
Earnings call is today
Ah so more market manipulation… got it. Jesus I hate this douchebag.
It's irrelevant because I'm never buying anything that piece of shit touches.
'this year'
Sure, Elon. Lets get you back to bed.
lol they can’t even drive from the factory to the parking lot in their fremont facility.
... Even assuming the self driving tech was actually capable of doing this, which is won't be...
How would this even make any sense?
Ok, if you live within about 200 to 300 miles of a Tesla factory, ... you have this option?
Fremont, California; Sparks, Nevada; Austin, Texas; Buffalo, New York; Lathrop, California.
Outside of 250 miles ish of one of those places? No self driving delivery for you.
... And I am pretty surr not all models are made at all those locations.
Despite long ago claiming his EVs and charger network would be capable of automatically recharging or battery swapping themselves... to make a long distance journey... that ... doesn't exist, he abandoned all of that.
Even funnier: Imagine a tesla self driving from the as of yet to be completed gigafactory in Monterrey Mexico... through the border checkpoint.
The auto charger network doesn't exist, the car would murder people, cause an accident or fucking explode in the border queue... and even if none of that happened... how in the fuck is a self driving car gonna get through a militarized border crossing?
If he just gives himself a waiver via DOGE for his cars... congrats Elon, you are now a drug trafficker / arms smuggler, whether you know it or not.
... fucking lunacy.
He'll have a single car delivered this way, and there will be a Tesla robot in the driver's seat being puppeted by someone in the back seat of a Tahoe driving behind the car (they couldn't do actual remote because starlink doesn't cover the delivery area).
They'll then awkwardly film the whole thing, interview the overenthusiastic stooge they hired to "buy" the car, and fly the mission accomplished banner.
Next thing they’ll “say it will do your taxes and walk your dog”. Seriously this company is so unserious.
Aka they save on delivery costs and your new car racks up miles on your own dime before you even get to drive it.
Imagine it gets into an accident lol.
Who gets charged?
If you thought insurance was expensive before....
"we planned for this edge case, and have programmed the vehicle to quickly leave the scene of any accident where a driver is not present. by accepting delivery (by purchasing a vehicle) you accept that all vehicles are sold as-is. tesla insurance customers get half-off repair claim deductibles for the first 7 days."
Tesla “FSD” switches off seconds before an accident, so this will be interesting.
Yeah, no.
That would be true if any of this self driving shit actually existed, but it doesn't. Elmo lies. A lot. About everything. So this? He's just lying again .
I don't want to be caught dead driving one of those fucking nazimobiles. I would not take one even if it were free.
LOL my Tesla? Nonono. The possibility of me ordering a Tesla would require so much leadership refactoring at Tesla, I'm confident this is no longer a possibility.
To put it more sussinctly:
Fuck off with this bullshit ad headline. I wouldn't touch these swasticars if they jerked me off nightly
Yet another lie.
The shareholders should sue.
Tesla lost 6% of its value today so I'm sure Elmo felt compelled to find something to pull out of his ass.
I ain't buying that piece of shit if it offers blowjobs.
[NARRATOR]: It didn’t.
... from the Tesla factory floor, through the ditches, crash through several loony tunes landscapes, over your neighbors' dogs, cats, pet turtles, children, and finally park inside of your house after crashing through your living room wall to add an additional car port you didn't know you needed! Here at Tesla, we insist cameras are superior in every way possible to LIDAR. Quality is significantly improved on object detection when paired with 3M MAXIMUM EXTREME Quality Blue Tape+ for a premium cost. Every new purchase comes with a free, permanently center dash mounted Hitl -I mean- Elon bobble head performing the awkward "throwing much love" gesture. 3M Blue tape non transferable upon sale of the vehicle. Tesla retains the rights to not be held responsible for any damages resulting in your choice of using personalized automated delivery. Void where prohibited, which is nowhere. CALL NOW!
Anytime Elon says anything about Tesla with a timeframe, you can guaran damn tee that it will not happen within that time frame.
And also, who doesn't want hundreds to thousand of miles put against your warranty.
He's always lied about the self-driving capabilities of the cars and promised timelines that have never held. Print this statement out and use it as toilet paper
No it won't. I'd never my money on anything supporting that fascist pig.
You will Nazi it coming.
will it fall apart while en route.
He's lying again.
You can tell because his mouth is moving.
Not because of advancements in technology, but because of erosion of regulations.
As if the far right folks will buy an electric car and Elon burned the bridges for buyers on the left.
Bullshit.
FSD is getting people killed and somehow this same car will get any kind of “ok” to solo drive to someone’s home from the factory?
More promises by Muskrat that aren’t gonna happen.
Probably have a sales rep in the car to monitor the drive.
MY new Tesla? Doubt it. Considering I'm unemployed due to this clown administration and I don't tend to upgrade much of anything, let alone a vehicle, unless/until the old one no longer functions.
[ Doubt ]
kinda like elon would put a man on mars in 10 years back in 2011.
It can drive itself straight to the dump
No it won’t.
Tesla will begin its roll out of its self-driving Robotaxi fleet in multiple US cities in the months to come, already taking appropriate regulatory steps in both California and Texas.
Anyone want to take bets on how many deaths/injuries will there be before they're pulled?
Infinite is valid all things considered.
Not if your home is not in USA, your new Tesla will have to pay Tariff and don't know how.
