I mean it's one car, Alec. What could it cost? Ten dollars?

So being rich is a fairly new thing to you? What are you gonna do when you get used to it?

Holds up wrist sporting a Casio F-91W "Al-Qaida"

Big deal... This watch also costs more than my car.

A new London bus costs around £300k, so whilst is plausible that the watch cost more than my 'car', it's a pretty stupid way of spending that amount of money...

My car was a present, any watch costs more than my car

Do have some other investmentadvice I shouldn’t heed?

Do you say shit like that because nobody can tell the difference between your watch and a cheap one?

Does your watch get good milage?

"Does it keep better time than my 15 dollar digital Casio? Is it sturdier? Will it last longer? Is it more comfortable? No? So you spent a ridiculous amount of money to buy a less functional watch made out of precious essential materials just to try to impress people like me?"

Honestly though, if you want to piss watch people off, just say "Oh, it looks just like a regular watch, thanks for pointing it out".

Great! Does it help you with not shooting people as well?

-"What time is it?"

You spend this much money for a watch that can't even turn a deer into roadkill? Your loss.

"Oh, you could only afford one watch?"

"Good for you. Have a cookie. My $20 Casio tells the time just as well."

"Okay?"

I am not a friend of clever comebacks. People who point these things out are pathetic and people who get triggered by that only slightly less so.

"Hey what time is it? Im suppose to meet up with some friends later."

You gotta understand this proving your worth by buying ridiculously expensive shit and then bringing attention to it is an attitude of "new money"

Rich people who have been rich for generations will have the same time piece but they will not even think about it. It's granted to them, part of their life that they would never question. Like you putting on socks.

And that is the attitude that new money cannot understand. Hell that's kind of what the great gatsby is about, new money just not getting that the expensive shit is just more furniture.

So the most frustrating thing to this mindset is to treat it as no big deal, or even weird that they would bring it up which really it is

Damn thats a cheap watch, is it Chinese too?

I guess it's true, money can't buy taste.

Fun fact: Alec Baldwin's character was invented for the movie to provide exposition. The filmmakers didn't trust movie-going audiences to pick up the information from the three conversations that occur at the beginning of the play.

All these comments are trying too hard. The only two options are "OK?" and "that watch?"

Verbose disses only work in rap

What's my motivation? Is there a reason why I'm listening to Alec Baldwin brag about his watch? What's stopping me from simply walking away?

"You should have saved up a bit more and bought something less gaudy"

Why the fuck would I drive a watch ?

Can your watch play Bad Apple?

Can your watch run Doom?

Can you install Arch on that watch?

...

... didn't think so 😛

You paid all that money for a watch that can't do ANY cool stuff? You utter loser 🤣 🤣 🤣

A shame, such a tasteless choice. If you had as much class as money, you'd have chosen something like a vintage 1960s submariner rather than a frivolous toy available on every high street in the world.

If only you had learned to tell time.

I don't have a car

I don't care to respond

I don't mind sounding poor.

Wealth beyond what is good for you is no better than theft I'd say. Buying expensive watches while little children grow up in poverty is nothing to be proud of. If anyone should feel shame it should be that guy. Don't be humiliated by such shameless assholes. And don't try to counter attack, It won't work, they don't share your values, they feel no shame for the things that they do. Instead let's organize and fight them where it hurts. Taxes, taxes, taxes.

"that's cute!"

Woow, what does it do?

• It tells time.

Nothing else? So does my car.

"You got ripped off"

"So?"

That's the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don't care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don't buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds

The classic "OK boomer" still gets them angry, if that's what you're after