this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Residents of Floxas notice no change.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

I was about to say—we lost the panhandle, and nobody realistically knows what lives there anyway.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I think it becomes the most populous state

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You should sort them in alphabetical order, my European brain won't be able to remember them otherwise

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

And put them all to a catchy jingle

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

You just gotta remember the mnemonic for them!

Many Wild Owls In Winter Never Make Unusual Noises, Always Calm and Focused

But that's just taught to us in class as little kids so I forget it's not second nature for the rest of the world!

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

One line would be enough: to divide North from South.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think we tried that once.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

At that time only the South wanted independence, now it might be that both parts would rather live on their own.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

These welfare queen red states would turn into Somalia in short order. If I can't make it back to a blue state before the borders close I'm going to fucking kill myself.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Better to have a small Somalia2 than turn all the US into the Beautiful Somalia of Covfefe, don't you agree?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

bible belt and sane people

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Insular, gossipy, ugly, unintelligible, poorly dressed crazy religious dumbfucks and normal humans who actually have empathy and can accept their town gaining new residents without throwing a redneck tantrum about it every day while said new resident occupies free real estate in their moldy swamp brains.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Right thooooo

ugly, poorly dressed

meh ain’t hurting nobody

unintelligible

little our fault innit, also don’t wanna punch down

Get your emotion though not denying your feeling :)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

From my perspective it's punching back. But there are always exceptions to the rule. My philosophy is "give respect, get respect", not "viciously slander, patronize and exclude outsiders until they break yet somehow still feel entitled to their kindness and expect them to suck you off and inflate your already over-inflated ego".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

You need 4 lines. North East, South West, Wastelands.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago

Split it along the time zones instead. Less states and simpler administration. Washington DC can be its own time zone just to mess with people.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

I feel like idiota would be overcrowded

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

Floxas made me lol

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fuck that. The Northeast created this country and we're not gonna be erased.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

you also created new jersey, take some fuckin responsibility for your sins

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fine, New Jersey is taking its Unix and going home then

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

oh shit.

well, bsd, er, linux-shit... uh.... TempleOS it is!

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

I like how the map shows the curvature of the north border (49th parallel), meaning all these lines bulge north in the middle.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Utucky

No u.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Alascanada?

Hawacuba?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn't make any difference to them and it'd be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

True story: "The meeting is at 1500 EDT". "Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I'll be an hour late. Are you sure it's 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?" "Yes, definitely 1500 EDT". /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

as an Oregonian I 100% accpt the decision to merge us with Warshington

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

"Where you from?"

"Middle"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Maintana most beautiful state

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

As a resident of Floxus, I propose we make the creeping phlox our state flower.

(It smells like rotting skunk.)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Bullshit. I just moved from Oklahoma to California to escape the hell hole that is that backwards ass state and I'm not reincorporating.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

You have ascended to heaven. If you ever feel stressed, just remember that the people you left behind are still playing in the mud and catching exotic third world diseases.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Is that why you hate the internet?

[–] remotelove 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Internet would be great if it wasn't for all the other computers attached to it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Those damn macintoshes. Get off my LAN!

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I feel for Louisiana getting lumped into Floxas, run by the mutant abomination AbbSantis.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Floxas gonna absolutely kill at college football

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

But the target of basically all the hurricanes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

It's not actually all that differently stupid.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Flower petal distribution.

Like a voronoi grid with limited colors, each color a state. Every state would have a bit of everything.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Now I want to see this cross referenced to a population map and overlay major cities and show us the population of each new state and what cities would be in each.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

If Dr Suess was in charge of naming the states:

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Which sports team am I supposed to root for with this map? Do you expect me to make a careful analysis of team history and current lineup? Or do I pick the one in the state I was born in like a normal person?

[–] ininewcrow 3 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds more like a new line up of pharmaceuticals for the treatment of those suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute narcissism

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