this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2025
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[–] [email protected] 108 points 2 days ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is beyond my comprehension.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

Real :3

The primate escaped the confines of the image background, he's simply too wide

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

Took me way too long to photoshop too for what it is lol :3

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

it's not wider than the post. needs to be w i d e r

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

That's not Wide Ape. It's just a tribute

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

There are literal eldritch horrors we do not comprehend. It is why the sun has all the material features of god, yet we see it as a (very large, implacable, thankfully consistent) object, and we don't think about how we must refrain from looking at the sun directly, only that it burns our eyes.

Bertrand Russell's attempt at reducing all of mathematics to a perfect system of logic (until this was proven by Gödel to be impossible) broke him, much the way professors at Miskatonic would go mad trying to model the universe by pondering quaint and curious volumes of forgotten lore.

Myself, I was already pretty mad (diagnosed) when I saw lines being crossed in the US that pointed towards a fascist autocratic future and a purge campaign, and so I took to studying moral philosophy and the Holocaust, specifically the human mechanisms that justified the engagement of and participation in evil. Consequently, I broke my brain even further. Nature, human or otherwise, can be unflinching and ruthless in its efforts to exploit or consume us, which is why we need reciprocal ethics in the first place.

I do not imagine the universe is incomprehensible, only that we are small and still pretty simple, imagining the moon closer and bigger since we see models drawn to disproportionate scale. And so the layperson doesn't understand how difficult it is to launch a probe from one speck so that it drifts for months or years, to fall into an orbit around another speck. It's difficult to imagibe that the stars in a single galaxy, each teeming with satellite objects, are uncountable like the grains of sand on a beach. We know it's a number, but still have to estimate its value with a wide error margin.

It's not forbidden knowlege. The parabolic manifold in which the pillars of R'lyeh stand can be computed, but our hominid brains have to bend a lot, or chain together analogies and metaphors to understand them.

It's like a dog chasing a hyperball, possibly to its peril.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

on the other hand, a lot of HP Lovecraft is a metaphor for "Italians and black people being somewhat near white people"

The fish people are a metaphor for mixed race people, etc

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

No no, you forget the depths of this man's racism.

He nearly went mad with grief when he found out his father's... Grandfather, I think, was Welsh.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

And the rest of it is racism, not even disguised by metaphor.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Have you read UNSONG? I'd guess so, with that name, but if not, you should. I think you'd like it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Slightly verbose but good read nonetheless

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The best explanation I've heard is imagine an ant. All it really does is gather food, eat food, protect the queen, you know, simple stuff. Then it comes across a circuit board. And suddenly the ant is filled with knowledge of how the circuit board works, what electricity is and how the components all work together. Then it goes back to being just an ant again, but it still kind of remembers that knowledge but can't understand any of it anymore. And now it has to try to go on being just an ant again.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

This is why Lovecraft's writing was so special, it only really works in written form and allows your brain to do the heavy lifting (though unfortunate that his terror of the unknown came from his deep racism. Don't look up the name of his ~~dog~~ cat 😬).

If people are impressed by the reply in the OP, they should try reading The Shadow over Innsmouth, or At the Mountains of Madness.

No offense to OP, but it makes that look like a child wrote it.

Read books, y'all!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Oops, I think you're right. Fixed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

name of his ~~dog~~ cat

oh no. my first thought was almost right but I didn't expect it to actually be that for real

impressed

i think it was mostly just funny, because it still wins the average tentacle monster

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (4 children)

How is that possible? How does the ape fit in a room thinner than itself? This is beyond my comprehension.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It just noclips through the walls on each side. No matter how open the area you are in, it is impossible to go around the ape.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Presumably it is not very agile though, so you could just climb over it?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Uhh yeah of course. Maybe ask before you do that though

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

This is easy

ROOM

AAAAAAAAPE

ROAAAAAAAPEOM

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

It's also very squishy.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How does he fit into the campaign, I wonder:-?

Yes, I fully accept my punishment for this.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Although he is slightly wider than any story, you can fit him in just by squeezing him a little. Although he is amusing for his great width, he doesn't have a very robust backstory. The character lacks depth.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Ssooo, one could say he's a bit... forced?

I regret nothing.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Wide Ape, the long awaited sequel to House of Leaves

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Unironically Gygas was one such abomination, since it's the most jarring and threatening entity in a video game. Completely different from the in game graphic.

The spirit of the harvest moon from courage the cowardly dog is another one. It jumpscare me as a kid so bad. Edit watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9QdUSCBB_U

I was right all along this cartoon was scary

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I love something like the hounds of tindalos.

Not tentacled monsters, but still strange monsters that have very strict limits, yet never give up.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I love those in particular just because of how absolutely inescapable they are. If the Hounds are hunting you then you're going to be found. Period, done, end of story. You can't exist in a place that has geometry without throwing open a door for them.

I'm sure at least one mad wizard has sealed himself inside a perfect spherical prison with no corners only to find that the Cornerhounds don't much care what corners they come from, and your knees and elbows work just fine if better solutions aren't available.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh, that's never how I saw it. I love them specifically because they're something you caused yourself and only to yourself. But you can make yourself a sanctuary with nothing but rounded corners, and life there for the rest of your life.

To avoid the thing you did to yourself, you can never leave the prison you must build for yourself.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

No man can hide from the ravages of Time. It (and by extension, they) can reach you no matter where you try to hide away, corners or no.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Impossibly wide dicks out