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Feeling very alone (kinda venty) (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So for the most part I kinda been quite disconnected from most queer communities, I find it hard to feel like I belong as a trans person. I am just too different? idk y but my experiences seems so different to everyone else but I also lack any true support so that likely doesn't help.

This last week I was feeling abit better as I was gonna meet up with my family something I dont do often and this would be the first time since I hit some transition goals, so I felt pretty good about things.

But ofc things didnt work as plan, if anything they don't see me any different and was mostly ignored the whole time. I should of expected this as for the most part they been pretty passive about my whole deal.

This has hurt alot more than I thought it would and more than anything just tired of never being understood or having any friends or anyone to talk to.

I really wanted this to be the turning point for atleast my family like it would of been something but I guess I was too hopefully.

It's been 7 years and I am still there "son" I am done with them and I think just gonna drop them as much as I can.

But this leaves me very alone, i dont know how to handle this anymore. I'm sorry to post this here I don't have anywhere else to really be and I just don't want to be alone...

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

This makes me quite sad. I have two friends transitioning rn and they have partners and a somewhat supportive families (and the members who aren't they dropped a few years ago). But to feel like you are all alone is :(!

I'm terrible with making friends or anything social, really, I'm anxious af (terrible adolescent and teen years, so I distanced myself from all but a handful of close people). The ones I have I like very much, but I don't really understand the process of making new friends, others just sort of bring me into their circles and I'm like 'oh ok'. But if you want to chat about whatever, maybe play some games, you can pm me. This goes for anyone else reading this and feeling similar. I'm super awkward but if I can maybe make someone's day or be someone to just talk to, I'll break out of my shell and try to be supportive. I've been trying to push myself socially anyway, not be so scared of interacting with others, so I'd be mutually beneficial. Plus, yay friend maybe?

Regardless, I hope you find some people who support you. internet hug!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, don't waste time and energy on people who don't support you given ample time and opportunity, family or otherwise. All the people in my life who only know the real me are fucking amazing. Dedicate your energy to making new connections. Spend time with people who only know one version of you and want to spend time with that person. They're out there. You are loved, in both action and potential <3

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yea I am def moving away from family and gonna start fresh somewhere else I don't like it where I am atm. I always found is so hard to find other folks tho and connect to them so kinda afraid of just being alone really. I find it hard to feel or think that I can actually be loved but I guess I just got to hang in there

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I promise that it is so, so much easier to make connections as yourself. I was much the same as you. I was very isolated as a child and taught nothing good about engaging with people and the world. I didn't have real friends for more than a decade. Now that I just get to live as myself, people love me. I have genuine friends I can trust and count on. People like me quickly where they used to kinda come around to me slowly and keep me at a distance. Changing yourself changes your world. Just go be yourself with confidence. People like yourself and who like you will be drawn to you.