DakRalter

Warning: ranting.

Like many, I was fobbed of with an anxiety disorder NOS diagnosis. I assumed that what I felt was anxiety. Last autumn I got to the top of the waiting list for anxiety therapy.

And it was useless. It got to the point where it felt like the therapist was trying to push low self esteem onto me so she could cure me of it, and thereby cure my anxiety.

I tried to explain to her that my anxiety wasn't based on irrational thoughts, but experience. If I have to go somewhere I'm not familiar with, I will get overloaded with all the new input. I will struggle to process it because I need to be alone to process. The same applies to my feelings. I can't deal with them when I need to, because I can't identify them. So all this makes me scared because I know it will exhaust me or make me shut down. I just see this void when I don't have any reference images. The more I can fill in that picture, the less anxious I feel. Because I can process this in advance (eg using streetview to memorise a route and save landmarks so I can navigate).

No, she says. It's because you have low self esteem. Now write down some bad statements about yourself and say them out loud.

In my quest to educate her, I came across this article and it makes so much sense why CBT wasn't working. The anxiety diagnosis doesn't fit.

Even after asking her to learn about autistic anxiety, she didn't bother. So next session I gave her a printout of that article. Something told me she wouldn't bother to learn anything from it, so I discharged myself.

Is what you're feeling anxiety or overwhelm? Does the anxiety come because you know from your own experience that something will cause you to struggle? Is the feeling more akin to dread?

Someone on Mastodon shared this link with me, and I thought you might find it as interesting as I do.

I really hate the misconception of the spectrum. It enables nasty people like Ellen degeneres to justify being a bully (in case you missed it, she tried to get diagnosed autistic. When that didn't work, she said, well it's a spectrum so we're all a little autistic, so I'm not a bully). And enables others to dismiss our struggles, cos hey, we're all on the spectrum!

Back to the article, I feel like I'm a mix of the three examples. I can see some that match from each example. How about you? When I stop feeling so lazy, I might do my own custom one.

He is such a chill dude! Can you believe HE wanted MY autograph? I wish I could have thought of more things to ask him about. I'm still a noob at bike mechanics, and a slow learner, but he was so encouraging and kind, and a lot of fun!

He really is a mechanical hero!

It's bike spokes, I swear.

What was your favourite moment of the game?

Any recommendations? I don't know if I want to splash out on something expensive. I was thinking of getting some cheap tat to act more as a deterrent, but then I thought, what if I actually need the footage? My commute is pretty short, but the amount of drivers who are happy to risk my life to shave 5 seconds off their journey is a problem.

Would any £5 cheapo camera make drivers think twice before trying to run me into the kerb or am I better off getting a decent quality camera? I'm cool with refurb/second hand.

It seems like it might be official, but it's hard to say. The video uploads are the same 360p, so maybe it's just another fan channel.

It does have most of the episodes, as well as many songs!

I have a friend who's really into them, so I thought it would be a nice surprise if I could learn one of their songs for him. I'm just not familiar with their catalogue, so does anyone have any suggestions for where to start? My level is "advanced noob" :)