I'm not a vegan, and in fact I really enjoy eating meat, but Ill bite. I think that the stuff about plants and fungi suffering is nonsense. What you are describing is more akin to dominos falling over. It's a complex chain reaction that involves no thought at all. A plant doesn't have a central nervous system, and thus by definition cannot suffer.
Another issue with your argument is the last type of vegan, the one that wants to eliminate death. Every vegan that I know wants to eliminate sentient death, not just death overall. None of the vegans I personally know or have talked to want to just blindly eliminate death. Our argument as meat eaters is that most animals are low enough on the sentience totem pole that we can eat them without problems. A vegans argument is that no part of the sentience totem pole is low enough to eat. Your main premise comes from a mischaracterization of veganism.
Well yeah, I don't. I'm not gonna fool myself or come up with cope to justify it, you're exactly right. I wouldn't eat a human or like a chimp, but I eat pork, so there's clearly a line that I draw somewhere.