ZeroCool

joined 1 year ago
 
 

ST. LOUIS  Donald Trump, with permission from President Elon Musk, has enacted his latest executive order, essentially removing all DEI hires from every chessboard in America. The US Chess Federation is currently adhering to the order, but plans to fight it in courts in the coming weeks. We took to chessboards across the country to see how chess pieces were feeling about Musk’s latest order.

“I think it’s about time we leveled the playing field,” said a white knight who happened to be a blood relative to the King. “The other side was just hiring black knights to fill a space. Those guys aren’t nearly as qualified as me when it comes to moving in L-shapes.”

The front row whites also showed excitement for the changes coming to the game. Every pawn we spoke to mentioned the ‘high hopes’ they had for their future on the board.

“This is a win for the little guy,” one white pawn said. “The chances of me making it to the other side and getting a promotion have gone way way way up. Maybe one day I can make it into the back row myself.”

Not all pieces are too happy about the new order. White Queen felt blindsided about the changes to the game.

“What the fuck, I’m considered DEI? I thought it was just the black pieces,” the white queen said. “This is bullshit. Who was moving around the board making all the moves? Me. Who was saving the sorry King from all the checks and from getting checkmated? Me. I worked my ass off for that side of the board and this is how I get thanked? Getting tossed aside in favor of some stupid moron who can only move one space at a time. Fuck you and fuck this game.”

At press time Trump had asked permission from President Musk to sign a new executive order, allowing the King to move wherever he wanted. Musk replied he would look into it.

 
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, I don't think it effects browsers.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah, I'm really glad I found out about Jellyfin. I switched to Jellyfin because Plex doesn't let you disable Passout Protection (automatically stopping playback after something like 3hrs) without Plex Pass. I was just about to fork over $95 for a lifetime license when I looked into Jellyfin and discovered continuous playback was the default. I switched that very day and never looked back.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I miss the good old days when reddit admins still pretended to be part of the community. Anybody remember the "when this post is [x hours old] reddit will go down for [xyz]" posts? Then the admins were in the thread cracking jokes with everyone about the fact that their servers were powered by hamster wheels and they couldn't afford a programmer? Oh how the times have changed...

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Yep, she was a good girl that definitely deserved better. Tasty treats? Yes. Becoming the face of Elon Musk's neo-fascist movement? No.

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Doge (i.ibb.co)
 
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (6 children)

On a friday evening/night in the US? lol. Not exactly peak hours. I wonder what stupid shit they pushed to prod.

As a side note, I sideload Apollo for a few niche communities on reddit that don't exist here on Lemmy. But I was having intermittent issues a few hours before reddit actually went dark.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Presumably Trump? But that can't be right... We all know Trump is just President Musk's "coffee boy."

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The only reason you know this is satire is because it implies Trump listens to his supporters.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago

There is no debate about what Bannon did at CPAC outside of Fox News panels. And downplaying it is a bad look. So knock it off.

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