Dad Jokes

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480 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
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listing: all - local
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64
Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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Please post edgier jokes to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
12 comments fedilink
 
 

I just updated the sidebar. As a rule of thumb, if you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you should probably post it to the new community [email protected]

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Germany has a crisis and is struggling with supplying meat and cheese to the country (lemmy.zip)
submitted 8 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

They are referring to it as the Wurst Käse scenario

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181
We just adopted our local blacksmith's cat. (lemm.ee)
submitted 13 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
 
 

When we got it home it made a bolt for the door.

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What do Finnish people brew coffee with when they're angry? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

PERKELEtor

(Is this a valid dad joke, or should I post it in the "normal" jokes community instead/also?)

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History is funny that way (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/26861649

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Wife called about a fox (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
23 comments fedilink
 
 
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I bought a lemon from a rude, arrogant farmer. (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
 
 

.It left a sour taste in my mouth.

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You know what really frosts my behind? (dubvee.org)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

Answer

o _
/\      A snow cone about this high.
/ |

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-3
Why did the maggot graduate from maggot school? (lemmy.amxl.com)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

spoilerHe was the instar pupa.

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Went to see the doctor because I’m not sleeping well lately. I just spend most of the night eating. (feddit.uk)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

He said I’ve got insomnomnomnomnia.

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A Dad text (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
11 comments fedilink
 
 
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What type of content did the farmer make when he joined social media? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

spoilerGrainrot

14
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Sound Check (imgur.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

(obviously you'll need to turn sound on - I promise it is not a rickroll)

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Should I have a kid after 35? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
 
 

spoiler

Eh, probably not. 35 kids is plenty.

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You can easily check if a German child has multiplicated correctly with a simple method(but there's a 11% chance of a false positive) (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

It's called "casting out neins"

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Come on, come on, come on, come on, now stop me, babe. (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 
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341
Linux is not magic. (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
24 comments fedilink
 
 

It's sudo science.

Credit: I read it in the latest itsfoss newsletter.
Animation: https://stonestoryrpg.com/

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After many hours of failed attempts, I finally drove a spike through my window. (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
 
 

It was a pane staking effort.

I'm okay with the broken window, though. I have backups since I stole all my neighbor's windows.

Which was also a panes taking effort.

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BONG (slrpnk.net)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/18754816

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Where do bad rainbows go? 😈🌈 (self.dadjokes)
submitted 3 weeks ago by GlassHalfHopeful to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink
 
 

To prism.

It's a light sentence, but gives them time to reflect.

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Why do Norway's naval vessels have bar codes on the bottom? (ttrpg.network)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
 
 

So when they return to port they can just Scandinavian.

explanation if needed"scan the navy in"

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Which U.S. president applied for the position online? (lemm.ee)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
 
 

Abraham LinkedIn.

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My friend said I had nice knuckles (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

I thought, "that's a back-handed compliment"

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0mg (gregtech.eu)
submitted 4 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
 
 
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