Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Conscious_Ad4477 on 2024-01-23 00:31:00+00:00.

I (17f) was at family dinner and my uncle (28m) and his wife (24f) were there. For context my aunt is slightly crazy, she claims to be allergic to everything, and normally I would be okay with the allergies until she told me if she didn't like something she would just say she is allergic to it. When she was asked for a full list of what she was allergic to she said her mom had the list and she didn't know. I immediately stopped caring as much about her allergies.

My mom(40) on the other hand is severely gluten intolerant, like if she gets into it she can't move for days. No one on that side of the family will make any food she can eat. They won't even leave croutons on the side of salads for her.

I had helped to make my favorite food for dinner, bacon wrapped water chestnuts, and my uncle lost it because his wife is supposedly allergic them. I argued back that water chestnuts are a kind of raddish, not nut and he stopped yelling but they wouldn't touch them. Fine by me, I got more.

Later on I was eating a chocolate with Nutella in the middle and I gave my siblings (5 and 6) a piece. My uncle lost it at me saying that my siblings were going to be around his wife and make her sick and put her in the hospital. He was yelling but I didn't care. I said something along the lines of why should we tiptoe around your wife's diet, when she doesn't even know what she's allergic, but you don't even care if my mom is able to eat.

My aunt ran out of the room crying and my uncle started yelling at me. My mom got in the way and came to my defense but the a lot of the family is saying I was in the wrong and should just have stopped eating. My mom told me I did nothing wrong and other family said they hadn't realized my mom couldn't eat the food and that they would do better.

The family seems torn but I want an outsiders opinion. AITA?

BTW this is my dad's side of the family and he was away for business.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/KIND-OF-SAD-03 on 2024-01-22 22:19:27+00:00.

I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (25M) for about a year. He's a big movie and TV guy while I never really got into it. I immigrated to the US when I was 8 and my parents were always working so I was a Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, PBS after school kid. My immigrant parents never had any interest in American media and they themselves didn't grow up with it either. Because of this, every piece of content I have ever consumed from the age of 8 until now has been things that I found myself. As you can imagine, being an 8 year old girl, it started with Disney channel (Hannah Montana, Wizards, etc) to Teen Wolf type shows in my teens to whatever sounds interesting from Tiktok now. I never had someone sit me down and tell me that the Star Wars movies were good, I've never watched a movie that my parents grew up with. Because of this, I haven't seen A LOT of "must see" movies, but that doesn't bother me at all

When we started dating, my boyfriend made a lot comments like "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN..." and so we would watch some of his recommendations when we hung out. Maybe 1 or 2 movies a week.

As award season now approaches, he's really excited to watch all the nominated movies and shows. Just about every night after dinner, he wants to put on a "good" movie. I'm fine with it a couple times a week but I'm honestly never as excited about it as he is. In fact, it sometimes feels like homework. But I sit through it because I know it makes him happy.But sometimes all I want to do is watch the Lizzy McGuire movie for some fun nostalgia or some feel good rewatch of Ted Lasso. He sees no value in these because they're either "for kids" or things we've already seen.

He gets pretty sad when I don't want to watch his things because "his love language is quality time". I've told him multiple times in the past that I'm not in the mood for a movie in general or for that specific movie but he gets really sad. The other day, he recommended that we watch Swiss Army Man which is a movie about a dead body that can do all kinds of things including farting so much that it can power a boat. I truly was not in the mood. I would never watch this no matter how good it is and I find the idea pretty gross. I told my boyfriend as much to which he replied that he just wants some quality time with me. I responded by saying "this can't be quality time if half the people aren't enjoying themselves and I for sure will not be enjoying myself". He just gave a defeated nod and I sat on the couch on my laptop with my headphones in while he watched the movie on the TV. (And every time I glanced up, the dead body was in fact doing some weird thing that I did not care for).

He seemed pretty sad for the rest of the night but fine the day after. Now its been about 3 days and he's asked me to join him for a movie just once instead of every night. AITA for possibly hurting his feelings by saying that this isn't really quality time because I'm not enjoying myself?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/secretsecretwhisper on 2024-01-22 21:05:07+00:00.

My husband and I have been together for over a decade. During this time he's been in therapy on and off. He had a hard time finding a therapist that was right for him. A few of his therapists early on encouraged him to just medicate (with no regular sessions) and one pushed religion on him. Neither of these worked. What he needed was someone to meet with him semi regularly, not push their religious beliefs on him, and instead work with him to develop appropriate strategies/talk through issues. Whenever he told me about one of these more questionable strategies (i.e. pushing 'just love Jesus') I said I thought that was inappropriate and he should find a better therapist and go without until then.

There have been long stretches where he has gone without therapy because my husband isn't generally good at taking care of himself. That falls on me. I have to remind him to do things to keep him healthy/taken care of. Drink water. Eat more than once a day. There are literally times I have had to tell him he needs to brush his teeth. He also gets anxious making any decisions on his own. I have to help him pick out new clothes, write emails to work colleagues or groups of friends. He can't make plans for us- I have to make them all. Or, I should say, I have to help him make the plans so then he can say he made them.

He's a good person. He loves me so much. But he is so dependent on me. It is draining. I have to spend an hour at least once a week talking him through whatever crisis he's having. Sometimes this crisis is over what new collectable to buy. A collectable for him. That I do not have any interest in.

I finally demanded that he look into therapists again. I told him I can not be his therapist and he cannot depend on me this much. He needs to start taking care of himself and get a therapist that will work with him to develop these skills. And he did! Which is great. However a month into therapy he said his therapist had homework for me. I was supposed to write out a list of all his great qualities- at least a page or two. (Mind you, this is after YEARS of me carrying all his emotional baggage, essentially mothering him, giving him credit for things I did so he could feel better about himself, and one year, I did in fact write out 100 things that I thought were great about him for a gift.)

I was so frustrated. I said no. I said therapy is his work, not mine, and I've spent too many years of our lives solving things for him. It wasn't fair to ask me to sit down and do this homework when the point of his therapy was for him to build his own skills without depending on me all the time. He was upset but accepted it, and said he understood. Well, just the other day he told me that his therapist doesn't like me. And thinks I should be thanking and showing him appreciation more. I told him I didn't care what his therapist thought- they are his therapist.

This does have me thinking though, AITA for not doing the homework his therapist assigned to me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Suspicious_League663 on 2024-01-23 03:32:26+00:00.

I ( 28F) moved to the same city as my sister after getting a job there. My apartment isnt ready to be moved in yet so I've been at a hotel for the last week. My sister thinks I'm wasting money and should just stay with her till my apt is ready and a few days ago she offered to let me sleep in my nephews (14M) room.

I asked if I could get new sheets while there. She gets all confused and ask me why because my nephew is super neat. I told her yeah but hes 14 and hes old enough to not wet the bed anymore but now he's "wetting the bed" and alot of times on purpose especially since he got himself a boyfriend. She acts all appalled and says my nephew isnt like that and I'm just like girrrl how detached are you. I reminded her that we have brother.She gets all offended and says to just forget it if i didn't want to stay to just say so. Our parents are mad at me and think I shouldve just accepted her offer and not have made her uncomfortable. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Glittering_Term_3417 on 2024-01-23 03:23:54+00:00.

Basically, I run a freelance photography business on the side. Typically, I’ve only given free or discounted shoots early on when I started or to super close friends and family of mine. He’s not making me give them his stepsister a discount for her engagement shoot necessarily, but I can tell he’s judging me for not trying to make a good impression for doing so. Thing is, I’m not super close to her yet but his argument is you’re my serious gf and you could be. I asked for an apology about how he made me feel a bit disrespected by even bringing up the whole thing but he responded saying that he isn’t sorry at all because he’s saying he will give me $50 so it will make it look like I gave them the discount. My issue isn’t the money anymore but the attitude given that this is a small thing I make money off of on the side. I’m not even invited to the ceremony - just the reception and I have to pay to fly there. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/More-Ride8874 on 2024-01-23 03:17:28+00:00.

Me M18 and my Gf F17 have been together for close to 2 and a half years. Few days ago I texted my ex from 5years ago a happy birthday and proceeded to text her about the past year and our plans for the future. We both have a stable relationship and also talked about my plan with my girlfriend (moving in together). Another thing to point out is that my Gf and my ex used to be good friends before she left the country. For context My ex does text me on my birthday but she doesn't text my Gf.

I would really love any feedback or advice from past experience.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sweet_Falcon3570 on 2024-01-23 03:02:54+00:00.

My roommate is a stranger that my apartment complex matched me with. She told me through text before I moved in to not bring too much kitchenware because I could use hers, that she might be standoffish because her former roommate was her friend and she's struggling with her moving out, and essentially implied that we wouldn't be friends.

We got dinner when I moved in, she told me to ask her if I would like to make any livingroom decor changes. A month later, I told her that I wasn't a fan of seasonal decor and asked if she could move some leaves and pumpkins off of the tv stand--at the time, there were about a dozen faux pumpkins, fall signs, and leaves throughout the commonspace. She immediately sent me a really long text saying no and we argued. She has a lot of unused furniture in the livingspace such as two empty bookshelves, a coat rack, and a set of night stands next to the couch. We both pay for the furnished furniture in the commonspace.

After this argument, she hid the tv remote, I made space for myself in half of 1/3 of the kitchen cabinets as well as the cleaning pantry, and I told her to move the decor that was falling over my door. She started leaving sticky notes telling me to not touch her things, accusing me of stealing a glass, and to lock the door when I leave--I wrote fuck you while I was drunk in response to the last note and I got served a lease breach from my apartment complex for "belligerent behavior."

Another sore spot was when she told me to pay her for utilities, didn't realize that the apartment complex had switch utility companies, and I requested a refund from her twice only for her to immediately respond with angry emails calling me impatient and entitled.

Our last email exchange, she told me that I was making her life hell and I remember thinking 'damn, you're making MY life hell' and I apologized twice, told her to keep the utility money, and offered to clear the air. She rejected that offer and said she's been met with "nothing but anger/hostility" and that she "acknowledges and appreciates my apologies."

It's been 2 months and there's still so much tension.

Am I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nix-A on 2024-01-23 03:02:45+00:00.

I, 17 (M), am originally from Japan but when I was 4 I moved to Mississippi and gained a pretty heavy southern accent then when I was 13 I moved to Australia and got a Aussie accent over time, I have always told my friends I was just from Mississippi since I figured it was weird I was over 4,000 miles from my home country. When I started dating my boyfriends I told them and asked them continuously to not tell the others since I was embarrassed so they agreed. Now, back to about a week ago, I was at a party (typical Highschool party nothing crazy) and we were playing truth or dare, I got dared to speak a different language, I never took a language class when I was younger and they all knew that since it wasn’t mandatory for our school, so I immediately started speaking fluently in Japanese. They all were taken aback except for my boyfriends (obviously) and started berating me with questions, one even called me a lier since I had insisted that I was from Mississippi. I really don’t know if I was in the wrong, I just need some help, more than half of them are refusing to speak to me and two tried breaking me and my boyfriends up. I guess I just need more points of view. So, AITAH

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRaVinnieB21 on 2024-01-23 03:02:09+00:00.

My (M23) girlfriend (F23) and I have been dating for two years now. I was a swimmer in college, but since graduating, I've gained a little bit of weight. Nothing crazy, but I'm 5'11, and 170 lbs, up from ~145 in college. I used to have abs, but I haven't really cared as much about working out anymore, since I just feel comfortable in our relationship, and I know she doesn't care what my body looks like.

We recently went out on a double date with some friends that I haven't seen in a while, Jack and Erica (fake names). We're all having a good time at dinner, joking around. Jack and I have known each other for a long time, and always tease each other, so he makes fun of me and says that it looks like I've gotten a bit chubby since we last saw each other. I laugh it off since that's how we've always been, and since it's not really true, I just have a slight gut now. His girlfriend Erica joins in and says that Jack has been working on his beer belly too, which Jack definitely has put on a few pounds recently like me. Jack says that we've both put on some happy relationship weight gain and grown guts. I say that I got the Boyfriend 20, joking that I've gained 20 pounds while dating my girlfriend. The conversation changed from there, but we were all laughing about it.

Once we get home, my girlfriend says that I embarrassed her in front of my friends by saying that I said she made me fat. I get upset because she just inadvertently called me fat when I never said that at all, just that I had gained weight. I told her that I was just joking and that she shouldn't have taken it so seriously, especially because Erica was making the same type of jokes about Jack. I was also frustrated because she was making me feel bad about my weight gain, which I had never really cared about before. I told her that I know I'm responsible for myself getting a little chubby, but I didn't really care because I felt less pressure to look perfect while dating her. I guess this was the wrong thing to say because she got more upset.

Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway-half on 2024-01-23 02:58:07+00:00.

My wife's best friends—one is unmarried, and the other has never been in a relationship—keeps inviting my wife, without me or our son, and I find their behavior rude and disrespectful to our family.

I have told my wife multiple times about this, but she always brushes it off with how she rarely gets to meet them without us, and sometimes, she wants to be with her friends alone. I don't agree with her; as a family and a mother, she shouldn't leave us for other people. She and I had decided that she would stay at home with our son while I worked. But now, she wants to leave our 6-year-old with her sister and go play with her friends.

The other day, she left with her friends. I wouldn't have known this if she hadn't told me that she went grocery shopping. My wife broke her arm, so they came to help, and I appreciate it, but when I told my wife that I could have driven her there after work, she snapped at me for no reason.

This further escalated into a heated argument between the two of us, and I told her that her single, and unmarried friends have no idea how important a husband, a child, or even a partner is, and that she is being selfish for breaking our agreement everything time she chooses her friends over us. She has been passive-aggressive with me ever since, telling me that I'm being unreasonable with my "demand". And she refuses to apologize for turning a simple disagreement into a full-blown argument.

To clarify, I'm not against her wanting to spend time with her friends; I just want her to be like a married woman, and not exclude us.

So, AITA for expecting my wife to treat us like family.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Im-Just-A-Girl-87 on 2024-01-23 02:54:22+00:00.

I really don’t know if this goes into this subreddit or the horror/paranormal one. I’m also curious if anyone has ever seen these before.

My husband grandma made two dolls for my two kids. Super sweet and she used a pattern from her mom that passed away recently. Here’s the problem…they are creepy as S***.

My oldest daughter started crying and running away when she saw it. It is a bit horrifying and I don’t know how to handle the situation.

She also says this was a super common doll in the 50’s but I can’t find anything about it. I know this sounds like the start to any and all doll related horror films but I would feel like an a-hole for burning it.

I’ll add a photo in the comments…

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Spacetoehurts on 2024-01-23 02:51:51+00:00.

So I’m 19f and my mother is about 47f and today she requested for me to get her medication from the pharmacy (it was a pack of epipens). A bit of background is that I currently do not have a car as I was in an accident in the beginning of the month and her partner also doesn’t have a car as his car broke down last week so the travel to the pharmacy was about an hour by bus. I went and they told me that the total would be about 110 and I said I couldn’t pay it as I am going back to college on Thursday which is a 2 hour commute and I still haven’t bought my books and access passes which will cost me about 200+ in total and that’s without the cost of the commute. My mother told me that she would pay me back but I declined as the types of payment she’d give me would be impractical as the nearest branch of my bank is an hour from where I live and I work and go to school so I don’t have the time to deposit it. She got upset and said she was upset as I wouldn’t pay for her even though she said she’d pay me back and she knows I like to keep enough for just about two car payments in my account. AITA for not paying? Also: I also need epipens and we do have epipens at home. She just said they expired.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/daughtereducation on 2024-01-23 02:51:49+00:00.

I have a daughter who will be applying for universities this year.

While we were discussing the matter she told me she wants to study computer science in Canada and named a few schools, McGill, Waterloo, Toronto and British Columbia.

She was expecting this because my son studied in England and he currently works there.

However their situations are different as he did mechanical engineering which has more prospects abroad unlike science and he had no hopes of getting married in India as there are mostly only boys in our community.

My daughter on the other hand has already had proposals for the future when she gets older including from a family friend for his son who is in Canada already so she could do a bachelor's here then later get married and do her master's there. Also multiple family friends in UK have suggested it as well.

Additionally I am concerned of her ability to cope in a foreign country away from family and not lose her culture and morals. She has always been obsessed with the culture in Christian countries and wants to be like them. She has even taught herself French. I have found a short skirt and top in her room once and has to make her get rid of it and I felt so disgusted.

If she goes to Canada there is a risk she will get sidetracked and lose focus of studies and end up wasting money or end up falling for a white boy.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/pandarama1 on 2024-01-23 02:45:49+00:00.

A very long story short, we were having a family conversation, my brother made some comment that didn’t agree with me, so I got up to leave the room, whereupon my brother referred to my mental illness as “dramatics,” so naturally, I blew up and cursed him out, and we haven’t spoken since, other than his rant-text where he basically accuses me of “making everything about me.” Even if I was in the wrong, he doesn’t seem to understand how hurtful his comment was. Not has he ever made an attempt to understand what I deal with. In fact, he’s gone so far as to actively avoid it.

I don’t feel like I owe him an apology for cursing him out after his comment. AITA for refusing to apologize?

Edit context for clarification.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwaway175081190 on 2024-01-23 02:41:33+00:00.

My (33M) girlfriend (28F) and I have a trip scheduled in 3 days; we are going to my brother’s wedding in Portugal (the birth place of his fiancé). She absolutely hates flying, always has, but does it if there’s no alternative.

Well, last night we were looking for a movie to watch and settled on Society of the Snow on Netflix. It’s a new movie based on the true story of the Andes survivors, and it has a very horrific plane crash scene in the first 10 minutes. My girlfriend was on the verge of an anxiety attack and it took me awhile to calm her down. When she pulled herself together, she said she won’t be able to fly anymore and won’t come to the wedding with me. I asked her if she was serious; I bought her ticket besides mine, and they’re non refundable. Money aside, my family and I want her there. I also can’t imagine our future lives if she is serious about never flying anywhere.

So I told her all that. I also told her she can do therapy in the future to overcome this, and I can help her with that if she wants, but for now she needs to find a way to temporarily put her fears on hold and go on this trip as we planned. She got upset and said I was pressuring her, mentioning the money loss and telling she had to come. She also saw as an ultimatum when I said our future together could be impacted, though that was not my intention at all, I was just hypothetically mentioning the difficulties this could bring to our lives.

Am I really TA for insisting she comes to the wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PossiblePlane9023 on 2024-01-23 02:29:12+00:00.

I (38m) have a son (9m) who loves to play basketball. He's the type who carries a ball with him everywhere, and basically his entire life consists of playing basketball. His birthdays have in some way or the other revolved around basketball. All of his friends also play basketball, and supposedly that's all they play at school.

Now there's a kid at school that recently started playing with them who is more sensitive to comments and doesn't like to play as aggressive as others. Apparently he is neighbors with one of my son's other friend. Most of the time, because they're young kids, if someone messes up they will call each other stupid, dumb, whatever terms kids playing sports use. However, this kid doesn't like all that. He will get very upset and go tell the teacher if someone calls him any name. So far, no teacher has reported any behavior issues with my son, so I didn't care to pay attention to the situation. I saw it as boys being boys and I assumed eventually the kid will just adapt.

So the other day I was watching my son while he was playing after school. They were playing basketball and the kid was there. It just so happened to be that at this very moment, my son said something to him, to which the other kid got very upset at. Now his mother was also watching the game happening, and at this very moment she came up to me and said I need to teach my kid how to play properly.

This got me upset not only because they all seemed to be throwing minor insults at each other, but now I understood why this kid is so sensitive. Most likely his mother pampers him and instead of teaching him to grow up, coddles his behavior. I told her "First off, it's not only my son who talks and plays like this. All of them play aggressively the way boys normally do, and they all talk trash to each other. Second of all, your kid needs to toughen up because he's too sensitive."

This got her livid and she started rambling. She claimed that she's going to tell someone to keep a watch on my kid and the other boys when they play during school.

Now later on when I was taking my kid home, I was talking to the other parent, and they told me while I'm not wrong about the kid being sensitive, they said it's mostly to do with the parent and not his fault. Supposedly the kid heard me refer to him as sensitive, and they said I should've blamed the parent directly instead of involving him.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Zakpi on 2024-01-23 01:44:57+00:00.

My(18m) mother(48) cheated on my dad with her former friend’s son(23) and divorced him for the guy five years ago. Ever since then I only visited her house every two months because each time they had to board their dog(he doesn’t do well with strangers) and they didn’t want to do it often. Last week, we met at a restaurant and I introduced my mother to my girlfriend.

Her husband said I could do better than a ‘Jap’ and that the Japanese are all ‘barbaric people’. Told me to break up with her and find someone else. I promptly told him I’d call him son of a bitch but it would be insulting to dogs, and that he has no say in my personal life. Then my girlfriend and I left(we hadn’t ordered anything yet).

My mother later called me and told me I didn’t have to go that far and embarrassed him in front of a couple of strangers who were sitting at the table next to us. She demanded an apology so I hung up. Was I wrong for embarrassing him publicly?

UPDATE : I just texted my mom. It was a long text, telling her how I put up with having to see her and the guy she left my dad for for years, and that now the guy she cheated with is trying to dictate who I can date. Told her she should be ashamed of herself for siding with him over me and that I’m done with them. Told her that I will never, ever see either of them again. Blocked her already.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Time_Temperature_960 on 2024-01-23 00:03:28+00:00.

Throwaway because this is just embarrassing.

I’ll get straight to the point: My BIL does not like showering. My sister has casually mentioned in the past how he showers once every 4-5 days because “he doesn’t really get dirty.”

He has extremely strong BO and I don’t think I’ve ever been in a place with him where he did not stink. Even fresh out a shower, you can still smell very strong hints of sweat and…other types of smells when you’re standing near him. People have brought this up with her in the past, and every single time she just shuts them down and says that they’re looking for excuses to hide that they do not like him.

One of our mutual friends is getting married in 3 weeks and it’s about 9 hours away from where my sister’s family and I currently live (we do not live together, but we’re about 15 minutes away from one another).

My sisters informs me a few days ago that she will be riding with me to the wedding because their car is having some engine issues. None of this was discussed, she just informed me like she was relaying a message.

I cannot explain to any of you how much I shiver at the slight thought of being in the same car with her husband for 9 whole hours. He does not like sitting in the back and will most likely ride shotgun. To avoid this, I offered to lend my boyfriend’s car to my sister, as he is out of state for the next few months and will not be using his car. She repeatedly said no, no matter how many times I insisted.

So, I decided that the best choice for me is to just book a flight to the location and rent a car from the airport when I land. I have some points I can use to get a discount so it all works out.

I tell my sister that I’ll be taking a flight instead of driving, and I told her that she can feel free to use either my car or my boyfriend’s car if she’d like to drive there. At this point, I haven’t booked my flight yet, because I wanted to inform her before I went ahead.

She fully blew up on me and demands that I cancel my flight (because she thinks I already booked it) and says that we will be going forward with her plan instead. Continuous arguments led to the truth, where she lets it slip that their car is fine, they just didn’t feel like driving or wasting money on gas and tolls and were just looking forward to a relaxing drive across the country.

I was tired of beating around the bush, so I just told her the truth, in a very polite way because at the end of the day, she is my sister and the person I’m talking about is her husband, so there’s no point in being harsh.

She gets beyond upset and just blasts me with at least 50 texts about how I’m an A-hole. I feel bad about this but I’m truly conflicted.

Edit: I forgot to mention, she is also texting the bride and informing her that she wont be attending the wedding because of me. The bride is now stressed out and keeps contacting my sister for more information but my sister is just icing both the bride and myself out.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ifeelhorribleplzhelp on 2024-01-22 23:04:32+00:00.

I (27F, lesbian) am a grad student. There's a girl in my department, Natalya, who I'm not really friends with, but who has on more than one occasion, while tipsy at a party or get together, confided in me about how horribly her boyfriend treats her. During winter break at a uni party, she told me she was scared that he might escalate, and that she has nowhere to go because she moved cities for him and didn't know anybody. I gave her my address and told her that even though we don't know each other that well, she can always come crash on my couch if she feels the need, no questions asked, and that I'd help her to the best of my ability.

She ended up doing just that this saturday. Showed up with a backpack full of clothes and told me she was scared to go back home. I made us something to eat and sat down with her to try and figure out what steps she wanted to take next, she complimented the food and I told her I couldn't take the credit because it's my girlfriend's recipe. She asked if I meant girlfriend as in dating, I said yes, and she took her bag and got up. Said I should've told her I liked girls, and that she would have never come if she knew that, then told me it looks like I'm trying to take advantage of her, and that she wouldn't have come if I was a man, so me being a lesbian was the same thing.

She left, and I honestly don't really know how to feel about it. She sent me a text afterwards to reitirate that my deception was really messed up, and that she felt preyed on. I've never mentioned my gf to her because I never spoke that much to her to begin with, I don't think she even knows my last name. We don't see each other much and the only time we'd talk is at parties when she'd seek me out to vent for some reason. Not only am I not interested in her, I have a girlfriend I've been in a loving relationship with for two years and who I intended to move in with once our leases are up. My gf is on my side, but my best friend kind of agrees with Natalya that I'm in the wong. I don't ever want to make someone uncomfortable, so I'd genuinely like to know if what I did was wrong so I could apologize and never do it again, AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Practical-Clock-6784 on 2024-01-22 21:34:53+00:00.

So i’ve been w my fiancé since 2019, we recently got engaged and have been planning our wedding. My older sister has down syndrome and almost as soon as I brought him to meet me family and he started coming around often she developed an unhealthy obsession w him, it was almost like she fell in love w him lol i know that sounds silly but that’s all i can really compare it to, she would sneak pictures of him on her phone, wrote love notes to him, would try to hold his hand, hug him, sit on his lap, ask for kisses just things that at first we brushed off bc her disability but even after my parents and her aide having numerous talks to her about what was appropriate and what wasn’t she still won’t let up. she cried and broke things in her room after we got engaged had a serious breakdown and changed her facebook photo to a photo of him and her and even sent him a photo of herself in a bathing suit telling him she loves him and wants to marry him and told her aide at the adult center she goes to that he told her he loves her to, he has always handled being around her in a very gentleman way. my parents had him block her on all social media and he rarely comes to my parents house due to her behavior. My mom wants me to have her in my wedding party but she’s refusing to wear the dress i’ve picked out and tried to pick a white one like mine and threw a tantrum when i told her no. I’m trying not to be an a**hole but i’ve had my fill of it and i don’t want my wedding overshadowed by my sister trying to hover all over my finance and act out, i understand she can’t help certain things but i don’t want her in my wedding party and at this moment i don’t even want her at the wedding at all. My mom and dad are saying im being unreasonable and horrible to my only sister and that she’ll act right at the wedding but she hasn’t shown me she can handle herself around him what so ever.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/InterestingAct9381 on 2024-01-22 21:21:25+00:00.

I (36f) usually have time to drive my daughter to the bus stop every morning before work. Last week, where we were, it was -11 windchill. There is a kid (12-14m, middle school aged) that comes down to the bus stop as well. I do not know him, nor his parents. This is relevant to the story. On Friday, when it was -11, he came out in nothing but a thin pullover.

I felt like I couldn't ethically allow a kid to stand out in such cold weather when I had a warm car he could sit in. He took my offer and sat in my backseat while me and my daughter spoke. He kept his airpods in and didn't say much other than saying thank you. Busses were running ~15 minutes late as well so nobody really should've been out in that.

However, yesterday while I was walking my dog a woman came up to me. She asked me why I took her son into my car. I explained that the weather was well into the negatives and he was not wearing a coat, and the bus was quite late. She told me to never do that again and that what I did was incredibly creepy and to leave her son alone.

I was taken aback, I just offered the kid a warm place to sit and didn't even speak to him. I feel bad, because of course I never want to come across as creepy or overstepping boundaries, but I also feel like if the roles were reversed and I was unable to take my daughter to the bus stop, and this mom offered her a place to sit, I would be thankful. I feel bad for doing something I thought was nice. Is this weird? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/frikfraknjesus on 2024-01-22 20:30:52+00:00.

My best friend Sam(28F) invited me (27F) to her upcoming birthday weekend getaway at an Airbnb. In our group chat with two other girl friends, she said she is planning the same birthday from last year, which comprised of her, her husband, Kate, Kate’s boyfriend William, Jenny, and myself. When I asked her who all is coming, she said “everyone from last year.”

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, Jason, for 8 months and I wanted to clarify with Sam (via private text) if Jason was invited as I wanted to make sure there was no confusion. Her reply follows:

“I planned this trip specifically for our friend group, and I was hoping to keep it that way. I really want to try my best to replicate last year's trip because it was so amazing. It's nothing personal, I just really want to spend this time with my close friends and I don’t really know him. I hope you understand!”

Sam has been in the same friend group hangouts with Jason 3 times now, and yet she still said that about him to justify why he wasn’t invited. Personally, I’m not as offended as I am sad because it would make me feel incomplete and not right if Jason wasn’t there…yet Sam’s husband and Kate’s boyfriend will be there. For reference, those two men met and became friends from work. But I feel wrong to not have Jason there regardless. I can understand if I had just started dating him a month or two in and he wasn’t invited…but we are serious and been in a relationship for 8 months and going.

So I made up an excuse telling Sam that I would not be able to come because I have to watch my mom’s large dog in addition to my own dog since she’ll be out of the country the same weekend Sam’s birthday getaway will be.

Update: The excuse I made ended up being real, as I checked my calendar and my mom’s international trip actually prevents me from going on the birthday trip anyway.

Another thought to consider—during the times Sam and Jason have been in the same hangout, Jason makes an effort to get to know Sam and asks her questions and does the same with others as well. Sam doesn’t feel like she knows Jason, but she also hasn’t made any effort to get to know him the way Jason has.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Short_Condition3441 on 2024-01-22 20:18:05+00:00.

I can't tell if I'm wrong or if my gf is wrong.

She does have slight jealousy issues, but that doesn't mean the jealousy issues are causing the argument.

I was talking to a friend, who is a girl. I guess she was being flirty in the past, but I didn't realize it until she asked me out. I didn't know she was into me like that, but I felt bad for rejecting her immediately because she is such a sweet, wholesome person. Really bubbly and sweet to everyone around her.

I said, "Sorry but I have a girlfriend. You're great though, I hope you find someone amazing."

Like a bit of a rejection, but nothing crazy. She said it was fine and started asking me about my gf and we went off on another topic of conversation.

That's when my gf texted me and told me to come. I got in her car, and it was really obvious she was pissed at me. She was like "I'm sorry, seriously? You're the worst."

I was like what the fuckkkkk. What did I do? Also you were eavesdropping on our convo? She said yeah, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. She said she was coming to pick me up from work and she accidentally overheard our conversation and she was disappointed.

I said because I told her she was great and she'd fine someone amazing? She was like no yeah that was bad but apologizing for our relationship was worse.

I was so confused? I was like apologizing for our relationship? I didn't do that. But she said yes, that was what I was saying if I realized it or not. She said it gave the impression I'd date her if I wasn't in a relationship. It gave the impression I was apologizing for being in a relationship.

I didn't explain myself well. I said "But no that's what you do when you reject someone. You apologize." She said no, you don't. You should have said, "No, I have a girlfriend who I love," instead of apologizing.

I said I dunno, you're kinda making a mountain out of a molehill here. Or whatever it is people say. I don't see anything wrong with that I said, and I don't really get why she is upset at me. I tried to explain apologizing is just natural to do but she didn't get it. She has been upset and hiding in her room.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/imastar_22 on 2024-01-22 19:35:57+00:00.

My (22F) friend (23M) is traveling abroad to Barcelona during the spring to work on his thesis, the trip will last about 5 months. He keeps boasting on how he’s going to hook up/ date latinas here and there, when he has a hard time with women here in his native country (he’s an average middle eastern guy). I told him that natives may not be that easy to hook up with since he’s a foreigner and middle eastern, he got all defensive saying that he unlike me doesn’t like to play the victim card, and that people there will be welcoming and not racist. I agreed that they may not be racist, but they will not go along their way to hook up with him when he barely knows the language/ is a foreigner, and that latinas are not that easy as he’s portraying them. Am i in the wrong?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/imaqinethat on 2024-01-22 18:42:46+00:00.

My fiancé and I got engaged about 3 weeks ago. Our relationship moved quickly and we got engaged after about 5 months of dating. We wanted to get married on July 19th, which is our 1 year anniversary of dating (just to be poetic and cute). He’s Catholic so we’re having a Catholic wedding. Unfortunately, July 19th wedding date was taken and the next earliest date was August 9th, 2024. His sister and her fiancé got engaged before we did (they’ve been engaged for about a year or so). Their wedding was scheduled for September 29, 2024.

His sister threw a fit when she was informed of the date of our wedding and is demanding that we move our wedding until after hers so we don’t “steal her day”.

Her main point of argument was that she didn’t want people to congratulate us at her wedding… and also that she didn’t want to receive less cash (gifts) at her wedding because she’s relying on her guests to fund her honeymoon (which is asinine if you ask me). My issue is that, we were planning on having a tiny wedding ceremony with just family members, parents, siblings, and 2 uncles and aunts (8-10 guests in total). She’s having a bigger wedding, with about 50-75 guests. So my issue is, with that many guests attending her wedding, why is she worried about receiving a slightly smaller cash gift from the 10 guests we may have in common between our two weddings?

But my fiancé hates drama and we didn’t want any problems so after a little back and forth, my fiancé and I agreed to move our wedding to sometime in October, which would be after her September wedding.

You’d think that’d be the end of it, but then she proceeded to insist that this actually wasn’t enough for her and that she wants the entire year of 2024 to herself and that we should have our wedding in 2025. Therefore, we decided to stick to our original date of August 9th because she’s being ridiculous and narcissistic. We definitely want to get married this year and that won’t change. That’s the whole reason we’re having a tiny wedding, because we want to get married as soon as possible without having to stress about planning a big wedding in a few months. Plus we care more about our future marriage than the wedding.

So AITA for planning our wedding before hers, and sticking to our original date?