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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/PrettyFloralBonnet_ on 2023-10-06 12:47:22.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. All of that time I've struggled with my sex drive, which was way lower than I was used to. It gave me a lot of anxiety about myself and my relationship. Did I not feel safe? Was I not attracted to him? Just before starting our relationship, I also started taking the birth control pill. I was super happy with it, especially because my periods are normally super painful. Yet I always had this nagging thought: is this what's killing my sex drive?

Now I'm two weeks off the pill and my sex drive is BACK. How crazy is it that my doctor didn't warn me that this could happen? It's also SO hard to find information online... I'm extremely frustrated with the lack of awareness and information about this.

Do any of you all struggle with this? Would love to hear your stories.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/HoneyBadger302 on 2023-10-06 13:52:43.

EDIT: thanks for the replies so far, it's been a great reminder of things I "knew" years ago but have let slide since distance was making it easy to do so. My answer will definitely be "No." I will offer what I am willing to do (with very clear boundaries), but will avoid trying to be "tactful" since that always leaves room for attempted negotiations.

For context: while I love my mother, she is toxic for me to spend too much time with. She had emotional blackmail nailed down long before I was born, and she's also a very needy person emotionally and both of those are things that I cannot handle well in large doses. I'm in my 40's, and creating distance and boundaries has allowed our relationship to do well.

She is not happy where she lives, and WAS talking about "eventually" moving closer (like in 5-10 years, when she needs more assistance). I was open to the idea, since my finances should also be in a different place and I'm hoping to be able to get her some good support and be close enough to spend time with her regularly.

At no point was I open to having her live with me. Of course she has never really owned her behavior, other than to turn that into a guilt trip for sympathy (no, her life was not great either).

Now last night she asks if in the next year of she and my nephew (who is Asperger's, turning 18, and they fight constantly) sell their home if they could "move in with me and pay rent until they could find a place?"

Mind you I JUST bought my first home. It is 3 bed, 2 bath, but one of the rooms is my office as I have a day job AND run a business that is just about a second full time job. It's me and my pets and I work my butt off to have some peace and go enjoy my motorcycles and racing and hiking...now I'm not even moved in, and she's asking to move two adults, two extra dogs (I already have two of my own), and all of their crap into my 1300 sf house "until they can find one."

Thing is, I know my mom, and I know the local housing market, and they'll never find one in their price range and I'll end up with the roommates from hell that I never wanted.

I'm trying to figure out how to say no without being a complete jerk. Offering to maybe check out houses on their behalf, or something along that line. If they sold and were closing on another place, a few weeks I could deal with, but I already know if I open the door to them living here "until" it'll be "forever" because there will be no motivation for her to move on.

I don't want to put myself in this position, nor will I, but I'm not sure how to say no without sounding like a jerk. No matter how I say it she'll take it that way, but some ways of saying the same thing do ease things a bit.

And yes, of my mother "asks" something like this, it is never with her being open to "no," her asking is just a formality :/

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/hellokittynyc1994 on 2023-10-06 13:10:27.

I am getting married in a few months and have been teetering on whether or not to change my last name to my fiancés.

The main reason I DONT want to: the hassle of changing everything down to my birth certificate and social security card.

The main reason I DO want to: because I know having a different last name than your kids can present some problems. My mom had a a different last name than my brother and I and was unable to travel out of the country with us without a copy of our birth certificate (we do leave the country a lot due to family living abroad). There have been times where my mom was actually completely denied travel out of the country with us because she didn’t have the proper paperwork or permission from my father. I remember this being a HUGE problem growing up and a lot of the times, especially if we needed to go out of the country for something important, my mom would just not go without my dad with us to avoid any issues at the airport.

I don’t know how much of this has changed since the 2000’s and if it’s even a problem anymore, but I am sure not having the same last name as your kids still presents it’s issues.

So, I wanted to ask: which is a bigger hassle? A different last name as your kids or changing your name all together?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Far-Rain-8033 on 2023-10-06 12:47:06.

Am I wrong to feel kind of hurt? I have a male best friend who I met when I was in a relationship. My partner at the time had met him and knew about everything and it was strictly platonic. He would often tell me I was his best friend and so I thought I had a beautiful, solid friendship. Fast forward about a year and I'm now going through a painful break up and single. I reached out to this friend as I really needed support and we met up for my birthday, for a few drinks to take my mind off it What happened next is that he told me he'd always had feelings for me and tried to kiss me, which I rejected. He apologised but it's left me in a weird headspace because for one, I am going through a rough time with the break up and didn't really need that, and the most painful reason was that I thought he was my friend but turns out the whole time there were romantic feelings on his side and I feel lied to. I don't know if it's in my best interest to cut this friendship off, any advice?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/HauntingsRoll on 2023-10-06 08:30:47.

There was this viral post on the Reddit front page yesterday (as shown in the below image) about women-only cars in the subway in Malaysia.

The women only cars are of course for women to be safer in the subway... away from sexual harassment, groping, taking upskirt pics, etc by men.

And many comments were like "Countries like Japan, India, Taiwan, etc also have women-only cars in the subway trains. Every country should have them."

But then again, of course there were a lot of comments from men, like...

"This is SEGREGATION!! This is INEQAULITY and discrimination against men!! Only barbaric countries like Asian countries or Islam countries like Malaysia need them. Men in our Western countries are not all rapists! blah, blah, blah."

So, I was wondering what women around the world think.

Ladies, would you like women-only cars in the trains or subway trains in your country if you have to use trains/subway?

Yes? Or no?

I was gonna create a poll, but there's no poll option in this sub.

So, please, leave a comment. Yes? Or no? (And maybe the name of your country too, if you can.)

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Angie-Loo on 2023-10-06 07:08:21.

An acquaintance of mine & my husband's recently died. We no longer live in the same state, and I learned of his death after his funeral.

My best friend & her husband attended his wake. - My best friend's husband got extremely drunk at the wake...and he was so angry about his friend's death...that he did the unthinkable....

He punched his friend's corpse...four times.

This person that died, his parents were at the wake, and so were a number of other friends of mine.

I don't even know what to say. Or what think about this.

My friend called me and told me this. I am speechless.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Mcbuffalopants on 2023-10-06 00:47:27.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Sea-Seaweed4930 on 2023-10-05 21:48:53.

This is for my girlies who have seen the recent trend about women claiming to be “girls’ girls.” If you don’t know what that is, I urge you to look it up on TikTok and watch a few videos about it, because if you don’t have context then this won’t make sense.

So the definition of the term is fine. Girls uplifting other girls, I get it. From this alone I identify as one. But I swear there are mean girls who are labeling themselves with the word when they’re total assholes. It changes the whole meaning of the term.

For example (and I promise it is only one of a billion), I just saw a tiktok with the caption “me five minutes after saying I’m a girls’ girl:” and it’s her lip syncing a sound of a girl gossiping and talking sh*t about others. I was flabbergasted, so I looked at the comments.

“I’m only a girls’ girl to other girls’ girls” “you don’t have to like every girl to be a girls’ girl c:” “Some other girls just need to be brought down to earth 😌” “I’m a girls’ girl if a girl is in trouble, needs help, or asks me a question. But some of y’all are just…🫠” “Girls have treated me horribly so I’m proud to be a hater” “It’s called being a hater and I’m one too” (All direct quotes)

Is anyone else not feeling the energy?? Are these girls not just mean girls? I’m not sure how to explain it, but it’s like these girls have friends they like and are only selectively nice to them…they all admit that if they don’t like you they’ll be a hater. Basically, a mean girl.

It’s like they make their whole personality about their relationships with other females, whether it’s good or bad. And the problem is that their definition of nice is giving you a pad when you need one.

Please, please tell me I’m not alone. I’ve been feeling like this for a long time but couldn’t articulate it. I probably didn’t articulate it well here either.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Free_The_Elves on 2023-10-06 00:48:34.

There is a big thread about how men supposedly complain less than women, and sorry I just feel like I need to vent. I had to scroll and scroll and scroll to get to any response that was anything other than "it's because no one cares".

But I'm sorry, this (men complaining less than women) just isn't true in my experience? Like lets start with the incel movement, which is basically blaming the world, women, genes, whatever, anything besides yourself for your own problems.

And even personally, my closest guy friends honestly just don't really deal with their emotions all that healthily. Admittedly, they probably don't complain to most people. But they rely on me A LOT, perhaps because they aren't comfortable being vulnerable with as many people.

Then I look at my mother, who works full time, raised me and my siblings, gets home late from work and cooks dinner for my dad every single night. And all with a smile on her face.

These are just a few examples, and I'm not even trying to proove that men or women complain more. It's more of a personality thing rather than a gender thing. But it was just so depressing to scroll and scroll and scroll until a single person said something along these lines :/

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/zviz2y on 2023-10-06 01:08:49.

i dont even remember what i ssid but i mentioned something abt my period and he acted super surprised which made me confused, but it turns out he thought that women didnt get their periods until theyre 18 lmao 😭😭

but yea i just thought it was funny, also i cant rly blame him tbh cause i thought guys could manually turn their erections on and off for a VERY long time (like up until earlier this year lol)

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/bo-barkles on 2023-10-05 23:53:59.

That's how he responded when I told him that his friend crossed a line in my home last night trying to convince me to sleep with him and I didn't call him immediately as it was happening, and waited until he came home. I'm a lying cheating whore. Clearly something else is going on as I should have reacted differently than I did.. I'm not allowed to ask for his support in cooing because I'm not the only one that this happened to, it happened to HIM too and HE has feelings and clearly his retaliation and vindication take priority and how DARE I ask for as little as him to be in the house instead of in the garage raging. And I can't get out.. I'll never get away.. Hell never let me. I've tried. I'm phycho because I have the audacity to get upset when my needs are pushed aside and after two months of practically begging and pleading to be acknowledged and clearly verbalizing that I needed support bc my mental health wasn't in a good place... After him putting time and effort into helping other people with their problems while I'm sitting at home with our toddler barely hanging on begging for that time and attention... I got to the point last weekend that I truly was going leave this earth. I made an apology letter for my kids... And it became about him and how horrible I treat him etc etc.. It's always the same fucking thing and I'm scared. I'm trapped. There is literally nowhere for me to go... I'm sorry this is all over the place and horribly written, I just.. Had to let it out somewhere..

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ellielekkieekkie on 2023-10-05 22:24:18.

Original Title: I want absolutely nothing to do with 99.9999% of men due to a lifetime of trauma and horrible experiences. I feel like this is just self preservation and smart. While men think it's sexist. What are your thoughts?

Not going to get too much into my personal history, but I went through a decade of repeated SA from age 7-17, have been stalked, threatened, still face regular street harassment as an adult woman, etc the list goes on. Watched DV happen at home, watched women's male spouses make promises then repeatedly break them, emotionally abuse wives, etc. You know, all the standard negative things that make women fearful and distrustful of men. I would say a huge chunk of my interactions with men I don't know and don't trust are negative.

Some time ago I decided to decentralize men and to embrace and strengthen bonds with women and to focus on my needs. Because I grew up in traditional Chinese culture, vast majority of my life has been people nudging me to mould myself to be the perfect long suffering wife, the nurturing generous sister, the respectful polite yielding woman. Whatever bullshit keeps women being overworked providers, domestic house servants. It took so much effort to decouple myself from all that. Understanding my rage and truly seeing through patriarchy and oppression and really realizing how brain washed women have been really helped.

Anyways this revolution changed so much for me. It's improved my quality of life because I no longer entertain or give my time to men because I feel obligated. I no longer feel bad about being rude to men, I no longer feel that struggle to be nice to them when I'm actually super uncomfortable around them. I've just completely written men out of my life except for my husband, my brother and a couple of genuinely good lifelong male friends. It is so nice.

However, whenever I talk about this stuff online, there's always a chorus of men saying I'm being sexist. I really try hard not to care, but at the same time being called sexist doesn't sit well with me. I don't understand why men are so offended by me deciding not to interact with them. I'm not harming men. I'm simply choosing to minimize their presence in my life. Also, if someone chooses to avoid risky situations because they've had bad experiences, isn't that just smart? Isn't that just survival instinct?

Men keep saying they're the logical ones, but how is it that they have such a hard time understanding this? And if the genders were flipped and a man had been abused for a decade, had constantly horrible behavior, harassment from women directed at him, I would sympathize with him and understand why he doesn't want to engage with women. I wouldn't ever say "ThAtS sO sExIsT". Like all this is just so simple, why can't they understand?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/red_fish_blue-fish on 2023-10-05 22:17:07.

It's so annoying. Yes I smiled at you, no, that does not mean I'm flirting or want to date you. I've been told so many times by many guys that I come off as flirty. I talk to them the same as I talk to women, who don't think I'm trying to seduce them or something just because I was polite and friendly. I don't think I have a flirty personality, I'm socially anxious/awkward and try my best to be a decent person to people.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/LipstickBandito on 2023-10-05 21:57:49.

I don't think there's a thing wrong with it either. Mini rant incoming.

Men seem to think if you're on BC, they don't need to wear a condom, and will be less careful, more likely to stealth, and much more likely to pressure you into condomless sex. They disregard the risk of STD's, because they're at less risk to begin with.

How are they being harmed? They aren't. They have no valid reason to be upset or complain even if they did find out. Men do not have a right to know about what medications you're on just because they're a sexual partner.

You might be thinking, "well you really shouldn't be sleeping with somebody if you don't trust them". The thing is though, there are different levels of trust, and sometimes people can trick you. You can trust somebody and still be betrayed by them. So, I think since it's my body and my life on the line, it's fair to play it safe. Again, what actual harm is this causing?

Sure, it could be considered a vetting process to tell them you're on BC and see if they pressure you to have condomless sex, but they might not verbally discuss this. The may just decide that it's okay if the condom slips off a bit, or that it was "implied" that they don't need to wear one. All without ever saying anything to you.

Personally, I'd rather not leave room for some man to decide what risk level I should be okay with taking. I will always double up on birth control methods, and condoms are for STD's as much as they're for preventing pregnancy.

I don't care if it makes some guy upset that I "needlessly forced" another man to wear a condom. I don't care. I do not consent to condomless sex, and me being on BC does not change that. It's selfish whining in my book. I have to be careful, why shouldn't he have to be? I consider birth control a safety net, not my primary means of preventing pregnancy.

If they think I could get pregnant with a drop of sperm, they'll be more careful. If they don't know I'm on the pill, they won't know to sabotage my pills. I see only upsides on my end and zero actual downsides on their end.

And no, I don't consider, "you should never lie to your partner about anything", a valid reason not to do this. Lies that are for your own safety are OK, don't let a man tell you otherwise.

Besides, if I was in a serious, long-term relationship where there was real trust built up, I would probably tell him. I'm talking here about hookups, flings, and other short-term things.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Rough-Front1841 on 2023-10-05 21:14:54.

Original Title: My boyfriend's is a deal-breaker and he doesn't get it. They have treated me horribly since the beginning. I have been wanting to go no-contact for a year and I am honestly thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend.

I am seriously done. This weekend, my boyfriend's grandma died. They were about to leave her to die alone, and my boyfriend of not even two years stayed with her until her last breath. The next day, at the wake, the abusive mother used it to push my boyfriend into forgiving his abusive alcoholic violent father. "Life is short, you need to get along."

His mother wanted to exclude me from the family and was shitty to me at the start, cause "no one is good enough" for her son. I, on the other hand, have much, much higher studies than he has, and make triple his income. Besides my job, I am artistically successful. I am independent and kind, I have seen the world, and I would consider myself actually quite pretty and smart and a good friend and girlfriend and a decent person.

His best friend, a girl, also told him "to look for someone better". His dad was physically aggressive towards me, shouted at me while drunk, etc.

His uncle played mind games with me during the whole funeral, cause "he is like this and that's his humor to manipulate people into humiliating themselves." Besides this, he is already starting to sell his mother's stuff, etc.

Next thing, they didn't even name me on the wake announcement. I was with her when she died. She is not even my grandma.

I said again that I was done with his family. He doesn't get it, is a total mama-boy right now, even though she was super abusive towards him and they are usually no contact. I told him I had enough, that they were ruining my life, that I was young and wanted to be happy, and that I didn't want to be involved with them at all. He only looked at me in disbelieve.

I pay the rent for the flat. I am one step ahead of moving back home, leaving my stuff in my old room, and just go travelling the world, cause I have a remote job. And I have options. I am so sick of it. I am no stupid girl, who let's herself be treated like shit.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/nvrgonnadanceagain on 2023-10-05 21:06:46.

There are many pattern of behaviors that men exhibit that are predatory, entitled, anti-social and violent. I don't think I need to get long winded about statistics on harassment, violent assault, SA, distributing CP, stalking etc. Like the stats firmly say it's overwhelmingly men who do this to women, children and other men. And before the "women do this too" crowd start crying, yes a number of women do this, but not even nearly close to the number men that do this.

But if you ever dare to point out how our holy and blameless male overlords (/s) may be exhibiting problematic behaviors, you're instantly branded by males as "single", "cat lady", get told "enjoy being single", "I bet your life is miserable", "hope your life gets better".

It kind gives me a tickle any reddit males do this. Especially when I'm married and live a pretty damned good life. Good job, good friends. Worked hard to make my life to my liking, and a big part of what made my life better is waking up and seeing how much harm men do, and deciding to completely decentralize men. Men genuinely don't understand I don't want anything to do with them, and it's funny that they think singlehood is the worst thing that can happen for a woman. Pure and utter projection, imo.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Betht1998 on 2023-10-05 20:45:48.

I left a post on another sub-reddit asking about incels.

A guy posted how women will never understand men in "Sexual Poverty". All I could do was laugh. Just because no woman wants to sleep with you does not mean that you are oppressed.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/mic1120 on 2023-10-05 18:53:06.

TLDR; Seen a lot of posts recently from women who are unhappy with their partners who don’t pull their weight in their relationships. Worried about getting into this same situation in a LTR and wanted to know if there’s anything I should look out for in terms of dating.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts recently on Reddit and elsewhere about men in long term partnerships who don’t share the mental load. I.e. they live with their partner, sometimes with multiple children, but do no housework/chores/childcare and seem unwilling to do so - asking for explicit lists or details, for example, when they are asked to do something, instead of just taking the initiative and doing it. I specifically am using the term unwilling here and not unable since I know that most of these men are MORE than able and just play dumb or can’t be bothered stepping up even when asked.

I literally saw a post today of a man whose wife is asking for a divorce, he admits he hasn’t been doing enough but is still basically saying he doesn’t want anything to change.

I’m becoming increasingly worried of falling into one of these partnerships and having children with someone like this. I get very attached in relationships and tend to overlook flaws (although don’t we all when we’re in love?).

I guess I wanted to know what some early signs might be of a relationship or person like this - if there are any. I’m worried that I’m young enough now that relationships feel quite easy because I don’t have that many responsibilities yet. I’m aware I may not be paying attention to people not making enough effort in ways that they should be or I’m letting stuff slide when I should be pulling them up on it. Would love to hear some views!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Forsaken-Beginning14 on 2023-10-05 17:47:56.

Looking for any advice or words of wisdom as I’m going through it right now lol!

Got into a new relationship just over a month ago. Prior to that sex life was healthy and consistent and everything was great.

Just around the time we started dating I felt tingling/itching and went to the doctor for all the standard tests. STD and BV negative, said sample had a little bit of yeast on it. Started Flagystatin ovules for ten days.

That seemed to have cleared it up then for a few weeks until I went on a weekend trip which I believe triggered this newer infection (lots of drinking, poor eating, lack of sleep, period).

Second time around my doctor prescribed the same medication as it cleared it up the first time, but saying since it worked I could probably do 7 days instead of full 10. Told boyfriend about it this time, he was very supportive (bare minimum I know), laid off of sex for the week.

Everything seemed to have cleared until I began having sex again with my boyfriend (protected) and started experiencing burning near the entrance of the vagina - figured it was the yeast infection flaring up again probably because I didn’t do full 10 days of treatment?? Anyhow - called my doctor and the medication can be used for a second 10 day course if it doesn’t clear up the first time. So I’m currently on day 2 of the second course. Itching and ringing has subsided but there seems to be some burning if I try inserting anything inside.

Feeling just so hopeless and frustrated and stressed about this. It’s killing my sex drive and making me anxious to see my boyfriend. I know he would be understanding and in a mature relationship these things come up but it feels like the biggest buzz kill to an otherwise really exciting time with him.

Reading various posts about chronic yeast infections just adds to my anxiety so I’m trying to lay off reading on Reddit and praying this second course will work. Being super careful about diet right now, taking tons of probiotics, no underwear/cotton, and avoiding sex.

Just need that off my chest- but has anyone been through something similar and can offer words of wisdom?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/g00ber88 on 2023-10-05 19:15:57.

You might have seen a couple posts on /all about this job fair that is meant for women and nbs, but had a ton of men show up.

As if it's not depressing enough when men invade spaces meant for women, the reddit comments were far worse.

I cant count how many comments said "imagine if there was a job fair for only men in tech!!1!1" which is basically the same sentiment as "all lives matter"

The overwhelming consensus on reddit was to praise the men for crashing the event and to criticize the event for daring to exist in the first place. I even saw one comment that said "women in tech have it easy enough as it is" bro have you ever spoken to women in tech? Someone find that video of the girl recording her CS class full of men casually joking about rape.

It's funny because I'm white, but if I saw a job fair for black people in tech (as they are underrepresented in the industry), my only reaction would be "oh thats cool". I would never be like "thats discrimination! what about white people in tech??" I don't understand the need these men seem to have to make everything about them.

Had to vent. I love being an engineer but seeing such visceral negative reactions to any sort of DE&I in STEM always bums me out.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/TheInfamousBlack on 2023-10-05 17:34:53.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/cat_meow69 on 2023-10-05 16:38:26.

Caught my boyfriend in a lie unbeknownst to him. Last week, he said he had an event for work which is not out of the ordinary. I forgot he had his location shared with me and as I was going back to find a pic that had been previously sent, I was able to see where he was. At that time he was at a bar. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I thought maybe he met up with his mom for dinner between engagements. He then went to another restaurant that's near his apartment. While he was there, he mentioned to me over text that he's ready for the event to be over so he can go home. For the record, the event I'm referring to would not be held at either of these locations! He played off the evening as if he had work, his work event, and then went home.

To coincide with this, we've barely been intimate with each other, which is out of the ordinary. We generally have sex at least once a day whenever we're with each other. I spent four days with him and we only had sex once. Again, this is unusual behavior. I don't know if I'm just getting in my head, but even the way he looks at me is different. Like the loving, longing stare I grew familiar to has been replaced with a look of uncertainty.

I'm typically really direct and if something is bothering me I address it. This felt different though for some reason. I guess since I felt as if I was snooping on his location without him knowing. So I haven't mentioned anything yet. After listening to Lemonade, I know I need to say something. "What's worst, looking jealous or crazy? Or like being walked all over lately? I'D RATHER BE CRAZY!" It's been eating me alive for a week now and it's made my mind wander to some extreme conclusions. I've previously voiced to him that I don't fuck with dishonesty in relationships (I think I can say this for most people). So he's aware of my feelings towards lying. I suppose I'm here to seek advice on how to address this. I try to practice but there's just so much I want to unload on him I'm scared I'll word vomit and not get my point across clearly. That's all for now. Suggestions welcomed <3

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Aromatic-Frosting-75 on 2023-10-05 15:48:36.

I saw this meme comparing turtles choking on plastic to lesbians choking on plastic, with the implication that both are similar. I, along with several other women, pointed out that this is a misconception created by men consuming lesbian porn created specifically to turn them on. I am getting a lot of arguments with men who refuse to believe that lesbians don't use dildos in that fashion, and some do not use them at all. Let alone deepthroating and choking on one for pleasure. They are genuinely upset at the idea that lesbian porn is not real or how lesbians have sex. So many times I have been with men who have no clue what turns a woman on, think porn is real life, and refuse to believe that just because they get turned on by something, it does not mean their partner does as well. Women are objectified to the point that even when you tell men, "No, we don't generally like that", they mirror brains will not accept it because it turns them on to think we do. Rant over

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/TiredMouse_ on 2023-10-05 14:35:19.

I honestly just want to get this off my chest and this sub is the only place I could think of. I hate being a woman and I hate everything about having periods. There is one week a month where I‘m feeling fine or like myself and that one week is if I‘m lucky. I have horrible period pain that leaves me completely bed ridden for 4 days every month. I physically can’t move und everything hurts. After that, I have to deal with postmenstrual syndrome which causes nausea und a lot of anxiety and panic attacks for a few days. Then a few days after that I have to deal with pain from ovulation and I have headaches every day for like a week. After that I have a few days that are fine until I have to deal with PMS, including sore breasts, cramps, bloating, headaches and my emotions are all over the place. This keeps going on until my period starts and I’m dealing with the excruciating pain all over again.

I know it’s not as bad for every woman and some even have it worse but I am done!! I’m done with feeling like shit almost every day of the month. I’m done with having to plan my life around my period or hormones. I’m just so done and the fact that I have already (or only) been dealing with this for 11 years is making me feel even worse. I know I have so many years left while struggling with this and I don’t know how I’m supposed to do it. I already went to 2 gynecologists and they both said everything is fine and they can’t help me. That it’s „normal“ and some women just have to deal with this. I have another appointment a new gynecologist in two weeks and I hope that she can help me. However, I’m just feeling completely defeated. I’m currently in bed with horrible PMS, I have cramps and my whole body hurts. I have an appointment in an hour but I honestly just want to keep laying here and cry. I know you can’t help me with any of this but I just needed to write this down and maybe find some of you who can relate. Maybe some of you have some tips on how to deal with this. I’m just completely exhausted and tired of being a woman. Sorry if this is too negative but it’s just how I feel.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/nativeplantquestions on 2023-10-05 11:15:29.

The showers where I just wash my face and body take like 5 min max, but when I wash my hair and shave it takes much longer. It sounds simple to do those things, but maybe it’s my ADHD that makes it feel overwhelming. Here’s how it goes:

1. First shampoo — scrub for ~1 min (this always chips my nail polish and hair coming out annoys me so much)
2. Second shampoo — scrub for ~1 min
3. Wash body — sometimes I let acne wash sit on certain areas.
4. Wash 🐱 with a gentle cleanser
5. Condition and let it sit for a few min
6. Shave

Then once I get out of the shower:

1. Wash face and moisturize
2. Dab of rubbing alcohol on shaved areas & let dry
3. Lotion (everyday due to keratosis pilaris) and acne topical as needed
4. Leave-in conditioner
5. Wait ~30 min before putting on Epiduo Forte
6. Redo nails when I can be bothered *** It feels like it’s so much work for nothing because I have stubble within a day, my hair gets oily within a day-two days, my keratosis sometimes flares even when I’m doing every right, and my nail polish only looks good for a day or two. I also feel like I always miss something — like a few stray hairs, facial hair that I forget to pluck, or an area I forget to moisturize. Lastly, I hate wasting so much water during my showers because I need the water running to rinse my razor and such.

I know I could save time if I got fake nails, laser hair removal, and other stuff but that’s expensive. I just feel so overwhelmed and I’m tired of keeping up with all of this. Can anyone relate?😔

ETA: Hair training/your scalp producing more oil if you wash it more is a myth. I’ve tried this, so it’s frustrating to hear over and over again. I double shampoo because my hair is very thick and my scalp gets buildup easily. The first shampoo doesn’t get everything. This has made a huge difference in my hair health (as has washing my hair more) so I can’t cut back on this!