r/TwoXChromosomes: You are the community. You have all the power of the internet to mold it.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/boomhauersthong on 2023-10-01 03:31:20.

I am almost impressed by the delusion.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/bonjour-mademoiselle on 2023-10-01 03:30:50.

My ex dumped me without warning after asking for space for a few days. When he broke up, he told me he’d had doubts and didn’t want to pursue the relationship.

The night before this, we had sex. With loving pillow talk, and after care. The whole deal, saying “I love you” throughout.

Unless he overnight decided he didn’t want me, it meant he had sex with me when he didn’t want me anymore. And it makes me feel so dirty. I just want to keep bathing but I don’t feel clean. I thought I had sex with someone who loved me, but I was just a warm body. I don’t know how to stop feeling so disgusted with my body.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/NymphaeAvernales on 2023-10-01 03:19:17.

Please god, someone tell me this is just a social media (especially reddit) thing.

There's a post right now over in another sub where all of the top comments are men talking about how "paper abortions" should be a thing. Because if SHE gets to choose what to do with her body medically, he should be allowed to walk away scot free.

As if dudes haven't been abandoning their families since the dawn of humankind.

How many single mothers do you know, right now, who've raised their child(ren) almost exclusively alone? How many do you know who've never seen a dime in child support even when it's court ordered?

How many of you work in healthcare, childcare, or education and see that it is almost exclusively mothers, whether they're married or not, picking the kids up from school, taking them to the dentist, dropping them off at the daycare, arranging playdates and extracurriculars, taking time off of work, money out of their paychecks, to give their kids what they need?

It's so hilarious (but not actually funny) that men want to whine and moan about how women gatekeep sex and don't want to date them, they complain about "golddiggers" and somehow expect a traditional housewife who cleans and cooks everything but also goes 50/50 on all the bills, birth control is solely her responsibility..... basically, they expect to be treated like kings for doing the absolute bare minimum, and only for themselves.

Has it always been this ugly, or am I just seeing it more because the worst ones are the loudest and most obnoxious?

Ugh.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/xjazz20x on 2023-10-01 01:42:13.

I have a few friends who are in bad relationships. Abusive relationships, such as financial abuse, mental and emotional, and others where the significant other is just not present or helping. Ive found out that my friends do not understand the stock market, do not invest, or do the bare minimum (pick from a selection for their 401k). Friends of mine feel that they cannot leave because it would jeopardize their kids college funding, they cannot afford to live on their own, whatever financial excuse their SO have told them.

I’m an active investor, learning everything I’ve known from reading and doing. If I were to divorce my SO, I would be fine as I have a healthy understanding of all my money. But I realize that I probably am more of an outlier than the norm (my own mother did no finances in her marriage and did not understand where the money went).

I truly believe women are MUCH MUCH better investors than men. We can balance household budgets, grocery bills, etc. We keep track of things like our kids schedules, where things are placed, how much eggs have gone up. We can manage with very little money.

Please PLEASE learn how to understand your finances, as well as learn about the stock market and investing. This information is invaluable, esp if you need to leave a relationship.

On that note, I’m starting to give my friends “classes” to help them not be overwhelmed with the stock market, and help them learn about finances. Any suggestions on what helped you learn would be insightful. Im just going through basics with them right now.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/momtoeli on 2023-10-01 01:17:03.

I (31F) and my boyfriend of 10 years (30M) have a 6 year old son. I work full time and he works part time. He's always complaining about how he doesn't get enough sex. I'd say we have sex an average of 10 times a month. He's always asking me to be "sexy" 24/7. I had to explain to him for the millionth time that females aren't horny all day everyday like men are. He's claimed that there's probably "SoMe GiRlS" that are out there who are horny all the time. I told him go find 'ThOsE gIRlS" then. The moping happens all the time because apparently I used to be Hornier BEFORE our son was born (when I was 21-24). Obviously I was hornier before. Let this be known where this is a FREQUENT occurrence and its exhausting.

So, are y'all with kids hornier more than 10x a month? Thoughts?

Edit: hey everyone! I want to thank you all for all of your input and advice. There are so many comments, I've read them all but haven't been able to reply. I did not expect this post to get so popular. I've decided to follow some of your advice and let him know what would get me in the mood when he asks for sex. I just asked him to rub my leg for 10 minutes cause it was sore, and he had no problem doing so. Hopefully we will eventually work towards respect.

Thanks again!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/laineh90 on 2023-09-30 23:46:08.

Somehow starting a couple years ago I am gradually becoming gingerish??? First I noticed my eyelashes and eyebrows and hair down there starting getting lighter, and now it's at the point where some people will refer to me as strawberry blonde or even straight up say I'm a red head ( which I think is a huge exaggeration???) My armpit hairs are still dark brown. And my arm hairs and body hair have always been like clear blonde. I was super mega (toe head??) Blonde as a little kid but became a dark dirty blonde until around age 30 and this started happening. HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE???

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/fantasticmrrfox on 2023-09-30 20:22:01.

I am 21 F so I understand the circumstances are VERY small that I have breast cancer. I felt a small bump in my breast earlier in the year but the past month it grew bigger to the point I can feel it while running my hand across my chest. I stopped birth control wondering if it was hormones, waited a bit to call my Dr to see if it was just my period but it hasn't changed if anything it's a little bigger. I have been dizzy the past two weeks especially sitting down, I didn't think much of it since I have dysautonomia so I am dizzy sometimes but this was happening when I was sitting so it was out of the norm for me. I started to get very nauseous and gagging all of yesterday so I called my doctor up (was going to wait until my physical at the end of October) to get another appointment for a breast exam/mammogram. They seemed shocked and asked why. I told them the basics and their demeanor changed when I said I had a lump in my breast and was feeling dizzy this past couple weeks. I was immediately scheduled for a different doctor than normal and they said if I couldn't make it to that appointment then go to the ER. I made it to the doctor's that day but felt as if she didn't even consider it being anything. She mainly focused on my dizziness, saying it's possibly just fluid in my ear and making up symptoms for me. At the end she almost even forgot to check my breast for a lump. It is an obvious one you can feel and nothing on the other side. She scheduled me for a ultrasound and said she wanted to avoid radiation from the mammogram (I understand). I just feel very dismissed after that and she didn't acknowledge the bruise or bluish mark right where the bump is (new).

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/The-Ringmistress on 2023-09-30 19:14:35.

About a year ago I met Steve (not his real name) on a dating app. I had just broken up with my partner of 10 years and really shouldn’t have been dating yet. I was open about this with Steve, and he understood as he went through a divorce with similar issues. He said “worst case scenario, I have a new friend.”

Since then, Steve and I have hung out regularly and are part of the same gaming group that meets every other week. We often talk about challenges with dating. Read: we’re both open that we’re dating other people and there hasn’t been any weirdness. I got the feeling he still likes me, but I made it clear a couple times that we are just friends, and he seemed super chill about it. Also, there has been zero physicality between us.

I had a vacation planned that I was originally supposed to go on with my ex. I asked a few different girlfriends if they wanted to join me instead, but nothing lined up. I knew Steve would be interested, so I asked if he was cool going as “just friends”. He was totally down and no red flags came up for me.

Well…second night of the vacation Steve’s pacing around the hotel room (separate beds) and in a huff asks “where he stands with me.” I told him I made it clear that I like hanging out with him, but we are just friends. He seemed pretty unhappy.

After that moment, the vacation got so awkward for me. Steve followed me around like a puppy dog. If I asked what he wanted to do the answer was always “whatever you want to do.” If I walked somewhere, he followed. If I said I wanted to do something, he wanted to do that too. I caught him staring at me a lot and it made me extremely uncomfortable.

I caught a cold while on this vacation, and I told Steve I wanted to catch an earlier flight home, but that he could stay and finish out the vacation (it was only half an day early). But of course he wanted to come home early too. I did everything I could to avoid him on the trip home and he did NOT get the hint. I separated our seats on the plane, I sat away from him at the gate, and generally kept my distance. I knew I could have told him to fuck off, but I didn’t want to make things worse or dangerous.

I was so relieved to be home and rid of him. The next day Steve texts me like everything is normal, but I cannot stand to see him ever again, and I’m a little afraid he could turn into a stalker type.

So my question is: what’s the safest way to offload this guy? My friends are saying to just ghost him, but maybe it’s better to definitively cut him off? What would you do?

Sorry for the long post!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/New_Caregiver_8546 on 2023-09-30 18:47:06.

I was talking with my cousin on the phone today. She just turned 25 and I'm 24. We were talking and laughing. I made an inappropriate sexual joke and we laughed. She was like, "You wouldn't even know what to do. You're still a virgin". At that moment I knew she was with a man. I then hear some man in the background laughing saying, "Yoo wtf? How old is she?". I'm like??? I thought we were alone. She kept going saying, I don't leave the house, I don't do anything, I have no experience. She then said, "You wanna fuck my cousin?" I can't stand this shit. Every time she's near a man and I'm around, she has to say I'm a virgin and I don't do anything. Just because my idea of fun is different than yours, doesn't mean I don't go outside. Making me look like I'm an idiot like I don't know what a penis is, like I'm scared to go outside.

Why are some women like this? Like you really want a raggedy man to laugh at your cousin? It's so stupid. I told her I had to go and hung up. Like validation from a man you literally met 4 months ago.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ChannelNo3398 on 2023-09-30 18:17:32.

I work at an international company with offices around the globe. This is also a highly male dominated workspace. There are maybe 30 women worldwide in this company, and only 3 women of color. This is out of thousands of employees. This is also not an entry level workplace. Most folks here have earned their way to even have their applications seen let alone to score an interview.

Of those three women of color, I have risen to a pretty high position despite the massive amount of sexism and racism. I’m one of the best employees here, but also given less than half of the opportunities. I’m told it’s because I’m just “not a good team fit” for most special projects.

That is until the client just so happens to be a POC. Then they make sure I’m nice and visible.

I managed to be selected for a high level special project. While I’m not the project lead, I am the second in command with one of our largest and most lucrative clients.

Last week, the project lead no called no showed to a very very very important meeting. This presentation was for the client and they simply didn’t show up. They later sent a message saying they “needed time to themselves” and that “ OP can handle it”.

Ten minutes. He sent this message ten minutes before. I was in charge of a part of the presentation to do with the technical aspect of the job. His was about the roll out. I opened the file to see that while his presentation was done, there were glaring errors. I reported this to my team, was told to fix it, and they’d deal with him later.

I do the presentation and knocked it all the way out the park. Client signed on with the deal, huge bonuses all around.

I then find out that management credited our no show dude with pulling the team together to do a great project…

Today, I received a phone call stating that due to his screw up, they fired the project lead. Rather than promoting me, they brought on a brand new team member to lead.

Ok fine.

But then they said this:

“We need to make you aware that this new lead does not work with females. He prefers an entirely male team.”

… uh… ok… well. I’m very much so a woman who earned her place here. Sooo….

“Well. He has already asked for you to be removed because he is uncomfortable. We told him no, but we do believe that he may try to find things wrong with your work to remove you. He is going to fire you, just don’t take it personally. He just doesn’t work with females.”

I was enraged. I told them about how I saved their collective behinds. About how the last guy screwed his team over and I saved us. That if he’s the problem, he should go. That they’d never tell a male employee that he was expendable. How is it I can be incredible at my job, but my worth spots at my plumbing and my worth peaks at his intolerance.

What’s worse? This gig is on commission. I’ll lose not only the bonuses, but also future income.

I’ve spoken with the attorney equivalent in our country and they’ve already said that if he blames it on my work and doesn’t explicitly say he didn’t want a girl when he tries, they can’t do anything.

The company has thrown their hands up because he’s experienced. My team thinks it’s terrible but they’re afraid of being let go.

I’m now knocking on a door that’s been shut, not because of my work but because of who I am.

So yea. Happy Friday

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Ok_Fall302 on 2023-09-30 18:13:45.

I've been in a relationship for almost 5 months. Some background, a friend of mine ended up going through a divorce. He had no where to go, went to live with his dad for a while, but then that wasn't working out. He was about to head across country to live with a guy friend of his. I was his main emotional support during this hard time and so he wanted to visit me first before leaving.

Friend comes from out of state, I let him stay for a couple of days, but feelings developed on both ends. He helped out a lot with chores at my house. BIG chores like yard work. Needles to say, he ended up staying here and that's how our relationship began. It was very unexpected on my end to even fall for him. He's not my type, but he really wooed me.

I thought he was perfect for me. Boasted about honesty, faithfulness, hard working, we could talk about anything for hours on end. He said for any relationship to work, people have to communicate. Great! I'm thinking this is amazing. I gave him more support than I've ever given any partner. Since he came from out of state and didn't have work lined up, I was financially supporting him for the first 2 months. I even gave him money to give to his ex wife for their kids. Because, as a partner, their kids are important to me as I hope mine would be to them. Kids shouldn't have to go without just because mom and dad aren't together.

Then things started coming up here and there that seriously bothered me. First thing was, a girl on tik tok started commenting all kinds of flirty things on his videos. And he was giving her attention back to keep "viewers" and get his message out. I told him this made me very uncomfortable, but he still didn't stop. Then the girl messages his ex wife that if she didn't want him, she'd take him. His ex wife went off and he blocked the girl for her.

Then adds the girl back and starts talking to her to find out who she is because he thinks it's his ex just stirring up trouble. When I found out, I confronted him, and instead of proving to me nothing was going on, he left my house without a word fir several hours. Then decides to come back and "read" me the messages, just seemed so out of place. I let it go.

He finally gets a real job and still not really giving me any money for at least his part of groceries (he ate a lot). Reasoning of course, he needed to get on his feet and I was okay with that. Rome wasn't built over night. But I found out not only was he sending money to his kids, which was perfectly fine, he was sending hundreds to his ex for things like hair dye, cigarettes, pads. And she was with the man she cheated on him with! He was perfectly fine with putting another single mom out to support his exs personal needs.

We get into a disagreement about it, but I let it go. Queue to a month into his new job, he gets a horrible nasal infection that he had to have surgery for. I stayed by his side all 3 days and nights. Took off work. Catered to him. He starts crying because his ex, and a woman friend of his didn't care he was in the ER. It was like a slap in the face, but I let it go. I know he was in physical pain and all looped out.

A week out of the hospital, were having a general conversation and he says he misses his ex. I ask if we should back off a bit so he can heal. He gets angry with me, and immediately starts going to the woman friend. Supposedly for advise. I find out I was never mentioned, he just ran a pity trip on her. He kept doing this any time we got into disagreements, instead of communication with me, which he claimed to be all about.

Queue to current times... I come to sit next to him on the bed and he quickly closes out of something and puts his phone face down. He seemed agitated even though we had been doing great. He'd never done that before so my alarm bells went off. I eventually looked at his phone and was shocked. He downloaded snap chat out of the blue. I finally looked at his phone, and all I see is this girl he used to hook up, rejecting him. Like a paragraph long rejection.

He slay had a message from her in his sms spam, with "why" of course all previous conversation deleted. He claimed he was messaging her to get a guy's number that he lost, but why the paragraph long rejection? Instead of proving anything, he left state, and still hasn't been back.

He keeps saying I need to get over this and that I'm being irrational, but this has built up over time because he doesn't communicate, he just leaves. So much can be deleted in those hours. Him leaving made matters so much worse. He's been gone since Tuesday.

I told him the longer he's gone the more I feel like he had something to hide. He said, "so much for distance makes the heart grow fonder", as if I was supposed to chase him or beg for him to come back.

It wasn't the fact of him messaging other women, I'm not that jealous. It was the pity trips, the principle of sneaking around. He won't listen. All he did was yell over me, through me, wouldn't let me finish a sentence to explain this before he left out. He just left me wondering and hurt.

He's coming back Monday whether I like it or not and I'm going to have to face him and either tell him to go kick rocks, or try to work this out.

My thing is, I need to know if I'm being irrational about all these instances listed above. If I am, I would gladly bow and give a heart felt apology. If not, then I can cut contact and not have the feeling of "what if?"

Edit: Update: He's not coming back. He said I can keep the tools. I he finally removed himself from my phone plan today as well. (information I forgot to add). I don't get my car charger back, but oh well. Worth not dealing with him again.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/xsadfairy483x on 2023-09-30 18:11:54.

I have had the most miserable experiences of my life because of it. Two men have gotten on top of me without a condom when I specifically communicated that it was a must. One man left me with multiple, severe, bite marks the size of his mouth on my chest. I couldn't wear a tank top for a whole goddamn month. Another brought me to his place and told me he wasn't going to have sex with me (then guess what happened?) A different one was so rough with me, that it scared the shit out of me. I started crying. Even IF I was the one that initiated that I wanted a casual relationship, they would never make me cum (the majority of the time!). They just genuinely don't give a fuck about my pleasure; even when they say they do.

Then, I'll have some guys that won't be upfront about their intentions initially. They'll make it seem like they want something more. They'll talk to me about their family, do over the top things; just to get me into bed. Then the next day? Either radio silence, or they tell me, "Oh yeah, sorry, just looking for something casual." It rips my fucking heart out. No one is looking for a relationship, everyone asks me to go back to their place. Every. Single. Goddamn. Date. I can't do this anymore.

I've deleted dating apps many times before, but this time, fuck it. I'm not going on there for a few months. I just want to love someone and feel safe with someone.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Severe-Assist8293 on 2023-09-30 16:47:07.

30F, here. Over the years, I've gone through phases of contentment with being single, focusing on personal growth, and finding happiness in that independence.

And then there were other times when I decided to actively put myself out there.

In these dating experiences, I can count on one hand (perhaps three?), the number of men who truly treated me as an equal partner and, more importantly, actively listened when I shared my experiences as a woman, without dismissing them in some way.

Lately, I've reached a point where I'm feeling sort of tired of prioritizing my career, hobbies, and friendships, and constantly striving to be strong and not settle.

I've been craving the feeling of coming home to a partner with whom I can feel completely safe and be my authentic self.

Based on my experiences though, the prospect of finding that kind of connection just seems so incredibly challenging and bleak.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/NJJenni on 2023-09-30 16:13:42.

I developed a cyst on my labia majora 3 weeks ago. I used hot compresses and Neosporin to drain it. I went to my OBGYN and he told me that he wouldn’t suggest lancing it because he didn’t believe he would be able to get any more fluid out of it. He told me it should heal up in a few more days. Well, it’s been another week and it’s still extremely painful. I am wearing soft, cotton underwear, keeping the area clean, and doing everything I can speed the healing process along. My husband is starting to get really annoyed with me because I have backed out of a few social commitments (the idea of putting jeans on makes my stomach turn) and we’re obviously not having sex because of the cyst. Is there anyone who has had a drained cyst that can give me some insight into how long this will go on? Thanks in advance for any advice.

Edited to add: it is not infected, there is no opening, and it is still slightly “raised.”

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/StrengthB4Weakness on 2023-09-30 15:56:18.

Okay, this is going to be long and I'm sorry but there's a fair bit of background involved. I'm also feeling pretty very weirded out and uncomfortable by what's happened and I need some unbiased opinions.

I (36F) have a (mostly) good group of friends, we'll hang as a big group, or sometimes smaller groups, one on one etc. depending on the activity. I love hiking, another in the group, let's call him Jim (50M), also loves hiking and we would occasionally go together. Around January Jim started being weird and distant with me, I tried to reach out and got nothing back. In March he finally agreed to talk and said he felt he was 'losing me' because I'd started seeing another friend in the group, let's call him Fred (30M). I said that was ridiculous and I was always still available to all my friends, and would never drop people just because of a guy. He apologised (sort of) and I thought this had sorted it.

I was wrong and Jim continued to be distant despite multiple attempts at communication. I then found out he was being like this with other people in the group, which made me feel better because I figured it wasn't about our friendship. Eventually most of us gave up trying with Jim because we've all been alive long enough to know when someone wants to be left alone. We figured he'd come back if / when he wanted.

Last night a bunch of us went out and Jim joined us, having reached out to another member of the group saying he'd messed up and felt bad for how he'd acted. Fine, no problem, we're happy to welcome people back. Me being who I am, I made a comment about the lack of communication over the past few months. Jim got defensive and basically made out it was my fault the friendship was gone. This pissed me off and I told him he was the reason he'd 'lost me' as a friend since he never responded to any of my messages. He argued I'd been focusing all my energy on Fred, which was bullshit and all our mutual friends agreed since I spent so much time with them while also dating Fred. I also pointed out Fred and I were no longer dating and hadn't been since July, so what was his excuse for no contact since then? And he replied that he figured I was probably moping over Fred. This pissed me off again, not because it wasn't true, but because it seems he doesn't want to hang out with me unless I'm happy and single???

He again tried to make out it was all my fault and I was tired by this point so said 'whatever' which caused him to storm off. I don't like leaving things negatively so I followed. I told him I valued the friendship but he's making out like everything was my fault, which just isn't true, and if he thinks I'm someone who ditches heir friends for a guy then he doesn't know me at all. His response was to grab my face kiss me (3 seconds at the longest) and pull me into a hug. I was so shocked I did nothing.

He then said 'can you stop being an idiot' and I responded by saying he was the one being an idiot. The conversation went back and forth with him still trying to put all blame on me and me trying to explain how I didn't do anything wrong. In the end, I agreed we were both at fault (I'm still not sure I agree with that) and I went home. On my way I called another friend (40M) and explained what happened and said I felt really uncomfortable about the kiss and I didn't understand why Jim did it. The friend said it was probably Jim's way of apologising and wanting to move on from it all but I said it was incredibly inappropriate. He agreed and told me to try and not worry about it.

Except I am worrying about it, because it was incredibly weird and inappropriate and I wish looking back I'd called him out on it but I was so shocked and weirded out I just sort of ignored it. So am I right that it was super weird and inappropriate? Or is my friend right that it was a weird apology thing? Honestly I'm feeling so drained from this whole thing and I just feel like I need some other thoughts on the situation.

And sorry again for how long this is.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/CraftySappho on 2023-09-30 15:40:31.

From the Cleveland Clinic:

"Is adenomyosis a serious problem?

Is adenomyosis a serious condition? Adenomyosis doesn't usually cause any serious complications. It can lead to difficulty conceiving or miscarriage. The symptoms it causes can disrupt your daily life."

On what fucking planet

IN WHAT UNIVERSE

Does miscarriage, difficulty conceiving, and disruption to daily life, NOT indicate a serious problem?

What the actual fuck

The Mayo Clinic also says it's NBD:

"Complications. If you often have prolonged, heavy bleeding during your periods, you can develop chronic anemia, which causes fatigue and other health problems. Although not harmful, the pain and excessive bleeding associated with adenomyosis can disrupt your lifestyle."

Don't worry guys since it's coming from a woman, heavy bleeding isn't harmful!

EDIT: turns out, anemia can kill you:

" Untreated anemia can be life-threatening and can even cause death. Anemia results in a decreased oxygen-carrying capacity of the blood. In the short term, the body can compensate with an increase in heart rate and respiratory rate. If left untreated, anemia can cause multi-organ failure."

(I've added this because a commenter has told me that since I won't die, I shouldn't be complaining, until I have something"better" like diabetes)

Fuck youuuuuuu Mayo Clinic

Aside from anemia, pain, fatigue, excess pressure on internal organs, and premature fetal eviction, there's research that suggests people with this condition are at higher risk of cancer. Being in high levels of pain also increases inflammation and high cortisol which, guess what, is also not great.

So

If you're bleeding a lot, crying in pain, vitamin deficient, have bone crushing fatigue, can't reproduce, and you're so stressed you can't see straight and you have a uterus? Stop being so dramatic apparently

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/the_sea_witch on 2023-09-30 15:32:06.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/justwanttoreadthread on 2023-09-30 14:04:02.

I was at a bar for dinner recently with my boyfriend (we’re late 20s/early 30s) and my parents - the kind of place where you order beer and food at the bar and sit whoever you want. My boyfriend chats with the bartender, tries a couple, and orders his beer. He tried two distinctly different styles of beer and a middle aged man sitting alone at the bar in front of us made small talk with him about his taste in beer. I wasn’t in the mood to deliberate, so I just ordered the first hazy IPA I saw on the menu. The stranger then says, without turning around, “I might have to take her home with me!” The bartender chuckles and says earlier he told her the beer I ordered was “for girls” so he wouldn’t drink it. I felt super awkward so I just quietly waited for my beer and went back to our table as fast as I could. (It was a loud place and my boyfriend didn’t quite hear what the man said until I told him later.)

I’m having trouble letting go of this interaction. In hindsight, I wish I’d said something like “that’s an inappropriate thing to say to a stranger” or I’d played dumb and asked him to repeat himself. Is this just an innocuous comment from a lonely man who has had one too many drinks? Am I overreacting? What would you have done in this situation?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Vivid-Program4478 on 2023-09-30 12:33:04.

Just a rant really. I’m 11 days PP, when I was in hospital I was using the shower head to clean down there. At home we only have a fixed shower head, I have stitches so unable to scrub like I normally would, and at 10 days PP I decided to shave and clean down there in the folds with a flannel and plain water, because I was feeling gross and should of done it sooner but I’ve honestly just not had time and not even thought about it? Anyway it’s super swollen and inflamed and sore now even a day later. How can cleaning it make it sore 😭

Edit: thanks for all the comments, I didn’t realise shaving was so counterproductive somehow (how have I got to almost 28 and had no idea) because it just feels a bit unhygienic to me! I completely avoided anywhere near my stitches and did the front - I had an episiotomy and can’t for the life of me remember which side it’s on no matter how many times I asked and was told during my hospital stay. I did my careful cleaning and shaving because when I took a close look it was all dischargy/smeggy in the folds and just felt so gross to me I just couldn’t leave it a moment. It’s starting to feel a lot better now but you are all right and I definitely should of just left it all alone in the first place. I never used a Peri bottle because I thought it was just for urinating and I was lucky that it never stung for me, today I learnt I should of been using one all along and I never would of swollen up the inside folds of my labia 😭 I wish we talked about private parts more openly in society so that people wouldn’t do stupid things like this haha

Edit #2: I did not shave my vagina, the vagina is a hole. It’s also not sore where I shaved and I could of probably just left that part out, the sore part was the sensitive skin in the folds that I had touched with a flannel. I went nowhere near my stitches or vagina, which are the parts that WOULD get infected as they were involved in the birth process, and I don’t have an infection. Fortunately my bikini line, pubis and the front sections of my labia weren’t involved in pushing the baby out. Thank you to everybody that has tried to give me advice, it’s pretty much better now after a couple of days, paracetamol and ice packs I was already using for the bruising from my episiotomy I had literally just inflamed it a bit and wanted to complain.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Weirdnessallaround on 2023-09-30 11:26:13.

I just read a post of someone being intimidated on the road by a guy and I suddenly realized most, if not all reckless drivers I've met on the road so far have been men (or male presenting individuals).

I'm sure there are exceptions, but I've never seen a woman park in the middle of the road to talk to people, I've seen it happen several times and it has always been guys.

Whenever I get a glimpse of a reckless speeder surpassing cars in dangerous ways it's a dude.

Last big scare was a parked truck that decided to leave as I was driving past it. Just put up his blinkers and drove out, expecting me to make way even though I had priority and nowhere to go.. Wanna guess the gender of the driver?

Yet a lot of men are so cocksure of their driving abilities, while jokingly putting women down.. I sometimes think some guys are just convinced they're too good to follow the rules.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/hereshecomes2 on 2023-09-30 09:40:58.

I had to deleted because of the verbal abuse, the people question my sanity and since this reddit, i didn't want to get doxxed.

I love reading a good book, a nice thriller but i am, oh so tired, of story about men murdering, assaulting, abusing women.

So i asked about a good book where the roles were reversed, women killing men... the comment were asking me if i was okay in the head, that i was crazy, that if a men ask the opposite they would get attack...but the opposite isn't like 90 pourcent of thrillers book ?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/FittestContribands on 2023-09-30 06:16:00.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/mesmerde on 2023-09-30 03:17:49.

Am I being sensitive for hating that term being used instead of “women”?

Edit: sorry for using the term “guys”

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ZAFJB on 2023-09-29 22:42:35.

For those who have secret/burner phones to plan escape from abuse, turn it off before the alarm, or put in flight mode, so that it doesn't makes is presence known to your abuser.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/thetitleofmybook on 2023-09-28 00:48:40.