this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2025
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21 year old German here.

This question is for Americans who have been to Germany before (or might've had any interaction with Germans). And I know there are a lot of Americans on this platform who bash and hate on their own country but I hope to get an answer that's as truthful and unbiased as possible.

So as someone who's very sensitive I always felt like people here are way too cruel and direct. It's a prevalent stereotype that Germans are very direct and cold. I know that a big part of this is my own perception and mental state that will cause these types of perceptions independent from the country because there will always be assholes.

But I wonder if it could be true that some of my observation might actually be because Germans might actually be more cruel. If you guys are really honest I wonder if it is possible that Americans might be slightly more nice than Germans and which country you think is actually more cruel in general. (Hope this question is not too stupid)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Fake friendliness exists everywhere in the US. It's just our social lubricant. The problem is that Southern fake friendliness is sort of oppressive, they can be kind of pushy. As in you're the rude one if you're not interested in their hospitality or friendliness. As a New Jerseyan, I'd much rather be able to say a polite "no thanks" and have that be respected, which is what you get in the Northeast and in SoCal.

I prefer to be more direct. Not necessarily cold, just forthright. In the South there are all these layers of manners and expectations that can be hard for a Northerner to navigate. I think they often genuinely mean to be nice, but they don't realize how pushy they are.

BTW I don't have any real experience with Midwesterners but from what I understand, they can be similar to Southerners in this regard.

I prefer the Northeastern way to the Southern way, and I think I'd way prefer the German way to the Southern way.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I think I’d way prefer the German way to the Southern way.

Yea I'm definitely the exact opposite in that regard