this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2025
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[–] [email protected] 88 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (8 children)

I was sitting in during the vows ceremony of my own wedding (everyone told me I should get married, and the groom told he would pay for everything).

When it came to the "do you take thee, to be your loyal wedded..." part, I said "yes", as per the original plan.

When it came to his part, the best man came in out of nowhere and asked me to say thank you for this wonderful wedding. I stared at him, but then the groom himself starts going on about how I'm ungrateful for all that he's done for me, and that without his support there would be no wedding at all.

I'm dumbfounded, the groom was the one pushing for the wedding beforehand, promising unwavouring support for it and now it's my fault?

At this point the groom and his best man, hold hands and declare that the wedding is off, and that they're off to some russian night club to dance off my toxicity.

Motherfucker, I didn't ask for any of this. If I recall, you were marrying me to piss off that night club owner in the first place, and now you're suddenly best buddies with him and putting the whole wedding on me? Asshole.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Were you in the Oval Office yesterday?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

Worst gay wedding ever

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yo, what the fuck?

Can I buy the movie rights to your life?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Is $3.50 a reasonable price?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I think that about sums it up

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Did you… “sign the minerals deal” after, as the kids say these days?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Kind of have to at this point, but I'll make him work for it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

At this point the groom and his best man, hold hands and declare that the wedding is off, and that they’re off to some russian night club to dance off my toxicity.

Honestly, sounds like you dodge a severe gun shot wound right there. Instead you walked away with a minor gun shot wound.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

This sounds like a whole forest fire of flaming red flags.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Someone also asked why you weren’t wearing a wedding dress too, right?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I will wear a dress once the wedding is over!