this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2025
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I was sitting in during the vows ceremony of my own wedding (everyone told me I should get married, and the groom told he would pay for everything).
When it came to the "do you take thee, to be your loyal wedded..." part, I said "yes", as per the original plan.
When it came to his part, the best man came in out of nowhere and asked me to say thank you for this wonderful wedding. I stared at him, but then the groom himself starts going on about how I'm ungrateful for all that he's done for me, and that without his support there would be no wedding at all.
I'm dumbfounded, the groom was the one pushing for the wedding beforehand, promising unwavouring support for it and now it's my fault?
At this point the groom and his best man, hold hands and declare that the wedding is off, and that they're off to some russian night club to dance off my toxicity.
Motherfucker, I didn't ask for any of this. If I recall, you were marrying me to piss off that night club owner in the first place, and now you're suddenly best buddies with him and putting the whole wedding on me? Asshole.
Were you in the Oval Office yesterday?
Worst gay wedding ever
Yo, what the fuck?
Can I buy the movie rights to your life?
Is $3.50 a reasonable price?
What.
The.
Fuck.
I think that about sums it up
Did you… “sign the minerals deal” after, as the kids say these days?
Kind of have to at this point, but I'll make him work for it
Honestly, sounds like you dodge a severe gun shot wound right there. Instead you walked away with a minor gun shot wound.
This sounds like a whole forest fire of flaming red flags.
Is it over?
Someone also asked why you weren’t wearing a wedding dress too, right?
I will wear a dress once the wedding is over!