this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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A Boring Dystopia
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The village would provide for the mother while she stayed home raising her child.....
I'm happily child free but there's a lot of folks out there who don't understand why someone like me would choose not to have kids.
It's because it's a fucking huge responsibility that apparently falls completely to the mother. Fuck that.
I agree with everything except:
I understand why you might say that, but as a single dad who has done 90% of the work while working crazy hectic jobs (and has maybe lost a chunk of sanity to it all), fuck that view. It's part of the reason I've been on an island (metaphorically, I WISH literally) for more than a decade. Everyone telling me I'm doing the right thing, but still treating me as a pariah. Where are the scholarships for single fathers or the programs targeted at us? Do we not count? It's seen as almost "creepy and weird," it seems. Fuck. That.
"Oh, let's do a playdate! Oh, your husband is jealous, too? Okay. Well, fuck me, I guess."
I'm not sure I understand. Sounds like you are suffering BECAUSE society wants this responsibility to fall completely on the mother. We don't even have a functional way for you to do that job without confusion and hostility.
Huh. Good point.
I feel your frustration. My dad raised my sister and I while mom worked (she made more money) and he was the best dad ever, but people would get so confused when a man dropped off 2 little girls to daycare or took them grocery shopping. Then when we were getting into our teens he tried to rejoin the workforce. He went to interviews with a guy who straight out told him not to lie about staying home with his kids, that they don't care if he was in jail or had a rough go, but they can't stand liars....
He ended up having to start his own business because no one would hire a man who was 45 and had been out of the work force for 11 years, despite him self-training most of that time on computers and passing the Microsoft exams at the time.
Whatever bullshit the world has put on you, it sounds like you are doing right by your kid. And that means a lot. I hope you start to see the changes you need in this world, even if they are too late for you.