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‘There were no warning signs’: what happens when your partner falls into the ‘manosphere’?
(www.theguardian.com)
this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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Men's Liberation
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I don't care what excuses you want to pull out of your ass about the absolute horror for young men growing up in a world where women aren't just sex objects and kitchen appliances. If you support and cling to the words of a known sex trafficker and rapist like Andrew Tate, you are a complete and utter piece of shit. And any pathetic excuse about loneliness or feeling left behind goes right out the window there. It's like men are on a mission to reinforce and prove all of the negative stereotypes right. Fuck these pieces of shit, I wouldn't waste my piss on them if they were burning alive.
As someone who has always been a good person and yet has never managed to secure a decent relationship, I can say that that view is massively too simplistic. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be around next month, but other people have massively different reactions to that sort of loneliness. It breaks you down and makes you question every aspect of your personality. At first you try to improve yourself. You study yourself, and you talk with other to try and identify what it is that makes you unlikable. Then you work on those issues. But eventually people stop being able to tell you what is is you're missing, and thats when you realise it's not something you're missing. It's not that you lack something, it's that you have something. Something makes you fundamentally different from other people, and you start to accept that you will never have the things that other have.
From here i see two possible solutions: change the world to allow me by force, or give up. Im not the type to force myself on anyone who doesnt want me there, so I've pretty much accepted the latter. But for people that have more attatchment to this world, it's difficult to tell them to have empathy for a world that explicitly hates them.
Edit: also its worth noting that I have never had any compulsion to listen to any of those rapists, but I can feel the draw when it feels like there is some fundamental aspect of being a man that everyone else seems to get but I don't. These guys offer easy answers which do in fact tend to result in you getting partners: force. And from a lot of the complaints I hear about men online, it almost seems like I am the only person not forcing myself on people. Which, consistency wise, checks out.
Again, obviously I am not considering becoming one of them but our society currently definitely seems to be designed to create more of them.
Interesting comment. So, nobody of either gender likes you and nobody can tell you why they don't like you?
People like me, but romantic interest seems to be off the table. Im not attracted to guys, but from my talks with multiple therapists and my friends of either gender, no one of either gender seems to be able to actually identify the issue.
Dating in person hasnt worked out, i dont live anywhere where people gather. So I'm left with online dating which is also an abject failure. By all accounts im reasonably attractive, probably moreso than average. Which is why I can only assume the issue lies in my body language. I'm guessing I give off autisitic vibes.
I'm just an anecdote though, my point is that there are a lot of people like me. I'm not an incel or right winger or anything like that. I know what makes someone an asshole and I know what makes someones character top quality, and I generally seek to embody those traits. We aren't evil, or filled with hate or anything. Society just doesnt seem to want us.
Edit: i mean that in a romantic way, no one actively drives me away from being friends.
The problem is that you're trying to solve a puzzle that will reward you with a prize. Relationships don't work like that, people don't work like that. You just need to be yourself, autistic vibes and all, not be an asshole, and just live your live. There are people who are attracted to you specifically, you just didn't find them yet because you're to busy looking for a key to a puzzle of no pussy. Just... interact with people like they're people, find those who mutually like spending time with you, and that will eventually grow into something.
Thats an interesting part, the pussy is not the interest. It's other aspects that come with a relationship. Mostly having someone there who is there to pursue common interests with. Admittedly, a relationship is my only true goal however. I've never really felt a calling in this world nor a particular attatchment to it, presumably as a result of neurological issues or a difficult childhood.
I appreciate the advice however, it's largely applicable but it's also what I've been doing for a while after advice I recieved. It's actually really funny in a dramatic irony kind of way however, I DO attract people. They're just definitely not what I am looking for. Either they're exclusively wanting sex, or they are a woman well beyond my age(im not shaming, thats just not for me. They were past my mothers age), or they're a guy. Either way, thats still fairly rare.
Aren't we all. You kind of summarised the whole human existence.