this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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He's at work, be professional at least. He also doesn't know the person, but if he was just some random dude you are still inconveniencing a person slightly. They say no, you are inconvenienced back.
Your workplace is for work, not for interfering with people trying to use your service. You can become friends with regulars and then ask them out if you desire, but you also involve more of yourself at risk in the question.
So just don't. Go to public gatherings or places of interest, where people have a common understanding of at least socializing. Having a friend already diffuses the situation or possible tension that an engagement can form.
Here's the thing, work takes up like half your day. If you aren't allowed to be a normal human at work, you're going to be a miserable person. That being said, a normal person doesn't ask for a phone number after a few sentences. They at a minimum have a conversation long enough to establish that having a second conversation would actually be an enjoyable experience. That's probably not gonna happen at a TSA checkpoint and that's fine.
Compliment people, be normal, do it without further engagement. That is the issue, men tend not to speak up unless interested so you are easy to read. Women like surprises, it's not shooting your shot if they already saw your gun.
Learn to appreciate the beauty of all before thinking of capturing one. You will have to communicate with them. Compliment something unique, something deliberately done, and something genuinely appreciated. By them or by you.
Just speak up truely.
"Capturing one" scares the shit out of me.
I am being heavy handed with my wording for the sake of metaphor.
You as a person need to tame another in order to cohabit the same space, while at the same time taming yourself. You will sacrifice for them and they you. You hope to give them tenfold what they have you, in hopes they know how loved and cherished they are. You must communicate, lose, and evolve in order to win a together that is more fruitful.
It is the same as loving your mother, if not - I am sorry she did not capture your heart. That is not a slight on you, just a sad reality that can exist and I am fortunate in this regard. My siblings were not.
I speak of love, not men or women. It is a concept beyond gender and most humans.
Leave my mother out of this.
I do get what you're saying. I am 17 years into that kind of relationship. But the domestication is voluntary, and capture is something others DO want to do. Capture isn't the goal, but as you said, a mutual choice to be domesticated because of wanting to be closer to someone. To create the third entity, the bond.
That being said, my mother was an emotionally and physically abusive carer.
Bladerunner "let me tell you about my mother" gif.