this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2025
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I've found out the hard way by jumping off my roof into one as a kid, they're also not that strong and won't catch you as you plummet straight through the hedge.
Also, on a side note, umbrellas do not slow you down and hurt like fuck when they hit you in the face.
If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.
That song is why I ended up doing so much dumb shit to my body, also constantly watching jackass and cKy really didn't help.
but have you tried two umbrellas?
Of course, the second one tends to smash into your legs leaving bruises that your teacher confuses for being hit by your parents and they have to go in and explain that their son is a fucking dumbass who jumps off roofs with umbrellas.
I also attempted three, but its hard to hold three.
The trick is to hold the third with your teeth
Where were you 20 odd years ago? I might have succeeded with this information!
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You think I chose this because it's funny? It's a very apt description of me.