this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
654 points (96.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 74 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Turned into a skeleton in 10 minutes

[–] [email protected] 56 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Yeah, also each query request was a human beeing. Such an unrealistic comic.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

🏳️‍⚧️

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Also rings don't make you invisible.

[–] owen 40 points 11 months ago

Not to mention, mysql is a database management framework, while in the comic it's a food stand! Absurd!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not queries, programs. They have pid

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Shoot, you are ~~right~~ wrong. They are processes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ah FUCK- mind said process, fingers typed program. But most of the time they are equivalent

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

The thing is, at first I actually, responded with "you are right". See, humans make errors. Also, this isn't a competence competition. (At least I hope so.)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If a query does not take 30 min does it even exist?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The waiting is how you know its giving you correct answers.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Exactly lol. If it's instant you know you fucked up

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

ca. 150'000'000'0000 CPU cycles.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Got sigkill-ed. But of course, this doesn't cancel the request

[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (5 children)

8 JOINS???? ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

You guys are only using 8 joins?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

No, they are using an ORM.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

It’s fine if they’re indexed correctly…

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I worked on an enterprise wide medical record system for seventeen years.

It had 10000 tables in the schema. Our particular setup populated 1500 of them. ( yes I meant tables).

8+plus happened...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So are you using FHIR yet?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Lol, is funny you ask. I mainly worked on interfaces.

The medical industry makes the banking industry look nimble.

The organization had a couple interfaces using the protocol when I left. But adoption is slow, just about everyone still uses HL7. But it has been a couple years.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I asked because I've been working in the same field for 10 years, interfaces as well. You can count our FHIR interfaces on one hand, the rest is DICOM, HL7 or proprietary.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

What it feels like to smoke 8 joins

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is fantastic and incredibly well made. Does anyone have the source?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Tried looking. According to one of the users who posted it its by 0x00 whos the person who made floor 796. All things I can find relating to them are floor 796 related though and can't find where this was originally posted

Heres floor 796 though if anyones interested https://floor796.com

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If your views aren't nested joins on views on views on views with group bys with wildcard text matching are you even trying to enter hell?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Exactly. I once worked with a junior developer who had constructed a simple reusable view with test coverage. I don't think they were even trying to make a pact with the nether realm. I'm just not sure what SQL is coming to these days.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Absolute amateur

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Should have used Postgres...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

True true...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Say it with me everyone, INDICES

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Quick roll back the transaction

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

MongoDB, on the other hand, is web scale.