this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sounds like we need to get the SCP Foundation involved. I'm getting some serious Turn Down for What vibes from this.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Watch out boy she'll chew you up.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Ohhh-ohhh here she comes

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Also a good Mother (photo taken yesterday):

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Some Mantis dude died for this pic

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Plus the babies eat each other. It's dying all the way down.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

There can be only one.

They are apparently territorial so the winner will destroy everyone else.

And since the Mother just gave birth to something the same size as herself, she also dies shortly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Turns out that whole thing was wolf science; the researchers were literally starving them so of course they would resort to cannibalism.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

How it walk round wit dat wagon

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Junk on the trunk

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

This was actually the inspiration for some art I got, the initial idea being that the person wished for an ideal girlfriend and ended up with an insect lady who was objectively beautiful but extremely awkward to look at. It came as a result of me looking into what people considered attractive and noticing that every single trait that could be applied to a bug (because they sure as hell aren't getting "intelligent") did.

Now i'm bug-pilled. The future is going to be made up of insect-people.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In case you were curious what it looked like, here is the concept art I drewbug person concept art

And the completed version can be found at: https://twitter.com/ElietteQlay/status/1680868917038776320?s=20

spoiler EDIT: Found this one as well bug person smiling showing their mandibles :::

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

There's a Craig Ferguson interview, where he says one of the secrets of some(!!!) of the most attractive Hollywood actors, is that in real-life they look like bug people. You know, weird looking, big eyes, huge head, tiny body. Looks great on camera and in 2d, not so much in the flesh. Probably also why IRC some Hollywood insiders call actors lollipop people. Stick with a big head on it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The fallacy you're under is that these things are 'big' or 'small', which implies they're not actually ideal. That leads to hyperbole like this where the proportions are too extreme.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“She had six strong legs and it frightened me. She had insect eyes but I could still see that the look she gave him you give to me.”

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

well, now I know this exists.

thanks, I guess

edit: apparently this guy is responsible for R.E.M.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Will eat you after you blow your load

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I'm listening

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Doesn't matter, had sex 😎

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

The female may begin feeding by biting off the male's head (as they do with regular prey), and if mating has begun, the male's movements may become even more vigorous in its delivery of sperm.

Bruh

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wikipedia:
To mate
following courtship,
the male usually leaps onto the female's back,
clasping her thorax and wing bases
with his forelegs.
He then arches his abdomen
to deposit and store sperm
in a special chamber near the tip of the female's abdomen.
The female lays between 10 and 400 eggs,
depending on the species. Eggs are typically deposited in a froth mass-produced by glands
in the abdomen.
This froth hardens,
creating a protective capsule,
which together with the egg mass
is called an ootheca.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

poemforyoursprog is that you?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I just liked the wikipedia entry and thought it had a touch more poetry and... enthusiasm let us say than I was expecting. And no, poemforyoursprog would have made it all rhyme.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Her milk shake brings all the bugs to her arms.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Skinny legs? Is that a thing people want?

[–] stelelor 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Look up "thigh gap". Not saying I agree with it, just that it's a thing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn't that a thing of teens and underweight people?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Not per se. It's a wide hip thing.

[–] Rodeo 4 points 1 year ago

✅ Flesh-rending claws

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't like huge butts, like the bbl. It's gross

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You dislike big butts and you cannot lie?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

All fine but I don’t like big butts.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably for the best, you can tell these types are man eaters with one look.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Does she only come out at night?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am truthful to a fault.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You know how 3d glasses make anyone 3000x times more attractive? Well guess what, they can wear 3d glasses too.

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