This one is a certified banger. I am really jealous of the baby.
this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
789 points (99.5% liked)
The Onion
5999 readers
111 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
SATIRE! ONION NO IT'S MEANT TO BE SATIRE!
What is satire, if not the truth turned up to 11?
"This incubator mattress pad is brought to you by Casper mattresses. Casper mattresses was one of the earliest direct-to-consumer mattresses for new borns. They disrupted the traditional mattress purchasing process by offering online selling. They sell just one model, which means there’s no decision paralysis while shopping. With a 100-day return policy, a compact package, and no need to go to a showroom, there is plenty of incentive to try them out."
We make picking a mattress so easy it'll make you fall asleep!
Every ad I had to close out of while trying to read this only drove the point home further..
uBlock Origin. It will change the way you look at the internet.
At press time, reports confirmed the baby’s 17 days of serenity had been cut short after the walls and roof of her incubator had been sold as ad space.
Honestly, the onion is just too good. Pure gold.
It's not even true. If there's a medical product in eyeshot, they'll be seeing its logos
Babies can't see for shit when they're just born. Maybe the pampers logo in their diaper, but even that's a stretch.
They offer all sorts of formula samples at the hospital, so I think even that is a stretch...