this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 131 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Well here's someone putting unnecessary math into their sex scene:

[–] [email protected] 105 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 55 points 4 months ago (1 children)

...is the speed of a cumshot that reaches its target's mouth 1 ft away in 0.28 seconds? Assume 6 mls of splooge. What is the transfer rate? If 80% of it hits the target and is immediately swallowed, what is the rate of loss?

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It seems we've had a very different math lessons.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So no classes but lots of extra credit?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago

Yeah, feels like I'm missing something here.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

What is the context for this? I am extremely entertained by the idea that this might be a thing.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's just an edit of this meme

[–] [email protected] 49 points 4 months ago (3 children)

several alphabets, in fact

once you run out of Latin letters you start using Greek, Hebrew, Fraktur, etc

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Wait till you hear about the sickos using arabic numbers

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

The woke mind virus strikes again. I use English numbers like 7 LIKE A REAL AMERICAN 🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

/s incase it wasn’t obvious

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I like using Japanese kana in my homework. I'm learning the language, and it helps with calming down after the rage of "what the hell is this thing, that doesn't make any sense???"

As a result, i have to prove that the set ま is open.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

I like that! I should start using Kana or cursive Cyrillic in my derivations to mess with the professors

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Or fancy letters, like the L in a Laplace transformation.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And if that's not enough, you just straight up make up new symbols, like Nabla

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes, because other science fields like linguistics would never just grab random letters and turn them upside down to repurpose them!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

əəəə... What do you mean? /j

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Any upsidedown A in the set of all real characters used in academia would immediately illicit mathematical memories.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Did you mean ALL the upside up A?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nope, it means "for any" as in no matter which one you choose it will be correct.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_quantification

I usually used it as "for all", but its looks like "for any" is used too

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I sit corrected. It's used as an arbitrary singular value within the proof, so for any always felt more appropriate.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Also a good way to start an essay

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If you are in possession of a penis, pull your pants down slightly and put said penis in someone's mouth, you achieve clothed oral sex outside of bed without dividing any legs and any chance of multiplying.

So nope.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nice dick, bro, but I should emphasise that this can't be just anyone's mouth and you should check that the other person is enthusiastic about it all before beginning.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

thanks and sure

i just tried to keep the situation as simple as possible for the thought experiment

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago

What sentences make sense both in math and in a sex scene?

  1. These are some nice curves you've got, and that's no hyperbole.
[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago

You guys are getting sex with your math?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If my math classes had had some sex scenes, maybe I wouldn't have been so useless at it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I would be more useless :).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Solve for x to see the money shot.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (2 children)

At the risk of outing the extreme perversity of my sick mind, I present the following math problems for your edification and enjoyment...

TW: Age-play

All participants are adult, even when otherwise is implied. Cat magic.

Yes, they are real math problems. I wrote up a bunch for a failed scene decades ago.

Enjoy.


Travel: On a road trip daddy is letting Tiffany steer the car. While Tiffany bounces softly on daddy’s lap, daddy is casually accelerating six miles per hour per minute. How far to they travel from the point they’re going 30 mph to when they’re going 90 mph?

Snack Time: Leslie is eating an enormous double-scooped ice-cream cone while Brenda is sucking on a huge Popsicle. Leslie's long licks up the side and along the top of her two scoops each average 8 seconds and 5 such licks consume an ounce of ice cream. Meanwhile, Brenda's sucking strokes are only 4 seconds long. But the juice-bar is so big she can only contain 2 inches of frozen fruity goodness in her mouth at a time. It takes 20 such strokes for Brenda to wear away an inch of her tasty treat. If Leslie’s ice cream cone is 16 ounces and Brenda’s Popsicle is 9 inches long, and it takes Leslie just as long to eat the cone as it does Brenda the last two inches of Popsicle, then which girl will finish their snack first, and by how much time?

Sleep Time: On Friday night, Teresa has a slumber party with six other girls. Daddy takes 30 minutes to tuck Teresa in, plus 5 minutes each to tuck in the other girls at the party, except Veronica with whom he takes 45 minutes. Daddy also takes 20 minutes to tuck in Teresa's little sister, Holly, and an hour to tuck in Teresa's older sister, Barbie. At what time does Daddy have to start getting girls ready for bed in order to have them all in bed by 10:00 pm?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I was not ready for the truly unholy unit of mile per hour per minute

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I mean that's just how acceleration works. Speed is distance over time, acceleration is change in speed over time, hence distance over time (speed) over time

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

That's not the problem. Coming from metric, I expected m s^-2^ for acceleration. The imperial units for distances are weird enough in their own right – but using two different units of time for the two time derivatives is truly unholy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I use mph because that's what the speedometer reads. But mile/min² is easy to compute by dividing mile/hr/min by 60. Once the starting and ending speed are converted (assuming impulse is a constant) the law of accelleration neatly applies.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

See I glossed over that because that's an entirely nonsensical issue. Do you measure the speed of your vehicle based off how much distance you cover per second or per hour? And then there's the fact that it's a math problem, written at roughly a middle school level - half the problem is figuring out how long it takes them to get up to the desired speed and if they did that in a person hour scale it would leave almost no math for the student to do

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Especially in a middle school math/physics setting, I would expect reasonable units. Otherwise, how would kids understand the relationship between force and acceleration? Do you use mile / hour / min for the acceleration due to gravity as well? Do you have a funky replacement for Newton too?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What is daddy doing with Barbie and Veronica?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Actuarial consultation, obviously.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

This is what my family thinks public school is like

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

algebra rule 34

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago