Same as "don't ask if you can ask a question, just ask directly"
this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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I had never articulated this before, but this is good.
It's a very common issue among programming/tech help communities.
Similarly, the XY problem: https://xyproblem.info/
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There's one guy at work who calls unprompted. If I don't answer, he messages me asking to call him back.
I don't call him back anymore. I can't know if it's going to be a 5-minute call or a 45-minute call so I assume the latter and I don't have time for that
You can choose to answer the call or not, and the person calling should be okay with that. If they want you to call back they should tell what it’s about.
But getting mad at people for not asking to call as a blanket response is madness. (I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, BTW.) Sometimes you can solve things with synchronous communication much faster than you could messaging.
I think straight calling someone on a chat program is rude because it unnecessarily breaks flow. I have to connect my Bluetooth headphones so I can hear you from the start, but that takes a couple seconds. If I'm not quick you'll stop calling before I'm ready, and it happens frighteningly often that people don't answer when calling back immediately, so you'll break my flow a second time.
Usually, 15-30 seconds are enough for me to mentally "put away" whatever I'm working on, which allows me to quickly resume once we're done. Often I write a comment describing what my last thoughts were. That can sometimes save a good 5 minutes or more.
At worst I'll say "give me 5 minutes" or "if not important, does 14:30 work?", but that's because I'm deep in thought and it will take a long time to get back to where I am.
Just don’t pick up, finish your thoughts and call back. You are absolutely under no obligation to drop everything to pick it up immediately.
As I said, this regularly leads to breaking focus again a couple of minutes later.
Just don’t pick up
Consider this a way to train others -- calling gets nothing if you're not in my group or chain of command. Send an email or, if urgent, send a chat message.
I didn't say I get mad that he calls without asking. My comment was about the "please call me back" - that message could have been the question. It's the same as "hi"
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This was my teams status for a couple years at my old job. I'll probably end up doing the same at my new job once I'm here long enough for it not to come off as an "overly aggressive new guy" move.
This is how I learned about this site and one of my team has it as his status after I told him about it. Which is kinda annoying as it's always there in group chats. I have taken to just ignore hi and wait till I get an actual question
I'm a member of a Discord server that's primarily used for support, and this happens way too often. I've taken to just reacting with a wave emoji and waiting for them to actually ask for help. Most of the time they'll just leave some time later, without ever asking a question.
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I agree very much, major pet peeves in a busy day
My work did a digital communication class that talked about how you should never start a chat with a question but rather start with "Hello'. It's infuriating
Next communication rule: Start every question with "May I ask a question?" before asking the relevant question after the acknowledgment.
Or in verbal discussions, never think before you speak and to avoid anyone else speaking make a humming noise with slightly opened mouth emitting an "Uhhhmmmmmm" while you think.
I mean, as long as you follow it up with whatever you want
Not until the other person responses. Which is insane.
I was delighted to see the "don't be mad at the person who sent you here" link at the bottom was sent to a different and appropriate video in the Spanish version of the site. That's great localization work.
Edit: it appears only Spanish and Swedish have unique videos
Is this website assuming you take 5 minutes to type 7 words and that typing "hi" takes the same time?
It's a common Indian thing to type a greeting, then wait for a response before actually getting to the point. It drives a lot of people crazy, because now we have to respond back and prompt them to tell us what they need and wait for a response, which is frequently a while later, causing a lot of interruption to what might otherwise be productive working time.
It turns a "can you send me this info" 5 minute task into a multiple interruption pain in the ass
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You're never just on chat. You're always doing something else. The constant distraction and context switching is mentally expensive.
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This is fair, though the reason we do it is to make sure the other person is okay enough to answer the question or talk about the thing first and if not we would want to help them out or take that into consideration.
Just asking the question feels rude or dismissive if they aren't doing well.
...so do both?
"Hi, coworker! How's your day? Anyway bossman is on me about the TPS reports, are those going to be done today?"
See? You were polite, checked in on them, AND got to the point all at once!
I'll think about it. Thank you so much for the suggestion though!
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Hello.
I am now mad at you. /s
Well by including the hi they have to provide a response rather than put it on hold for a few hours.
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