this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2025
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 117 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago

We're doing Watchmen quotes....

Quote

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

The darkest jokes require the darkest responses.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

“The nature of your crimes and abuse of power displayed in covering them up represents an unforgivable betrayal of the public trust and indicates a total impossibility of reform,” declared Merchan during the sentencing. “It has been proven beyond doubt that you offered Ms. Daniels $40 and some Burger King to keep your tryst ‘on the DL,’ so as not to jeopardize your chances of a shift supervisor promotion and $2 per hour raise at an Amazon warehouse. It is my hope that this sentencing will show the American people that such a lack of ethics will not be tolerated in the lower-mid echelons of our nation’s great privatized shipping and receiving companies, may God have mercy on your soul.”

Is this a parody site? There is no way this kid is going to prison for life over 40 bucks and some burger king.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, honey, oh no

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yes, check the sub. The Hard Times is a satire website like the onion

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you. This is not the kind of thing I thought I'd be having trouble telling truth from fiction about in 2025.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

The quote from Judge Merchan is real.

Right before he declared a sentence of no punishment, no conditions, for Trump.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Whooooooosh

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Time served you honor! He's kicked off a campaign for president and has got 3 votes!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I believed it up till the last two words, and even then...

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

I heard he smoked the marijuana once!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

i can’t believe someone would do something so foul and insidious. paying hush money to stormy daniels is one of our country’s oldest and most cherished traditions. it is a right of passage for all republican presidential nominees. by doing it outside the nomination process, without the GOP’s blessing, he undermines the sanctity of our elections. he should be tried for treason to be honest

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Onion 🔥🔥🔥

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago