this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
283 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

15104 readers
1636 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 45 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 114 points 3 weeks ago

The bill summary states that, if passed, Missouri would create a registry of every expecting mother in the state “who is at risk for seeking an abortion” starting July 1, 2026.

This is incredibly dystopian and taking page right out of Romania's hated dictator Ceaușescu in 1966. With Decree 770 it, as well as making any kind of birth control illegal also did the following on the population of Romania:

"To enforce the decree, society was strictly controlled. Contraceptives were removed from sale and all women were required to be monitored monthly by a gynecologist.[3]: 6 [better source needed] Any detected pregnancies were followed until birth. The secret police kept a close eye on hospital procedures."

source

[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

People with vaginas - get your tubes tied if you can. I got mine tied a few years ago and recovery was only a few days with minimal pain. Insurance covered it. I'd rather never have children than die from trying.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Or better yet, flee to a non-shithole country.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh yes because immigrating to a different country is such an easy task

[–] sik0fewl 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If you're pregnant, claim asylum.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

And in only one comment you managed go from "immigrate to a different country", as a panacea.

To "if you are part of 4.5% of the gross eligible population, then just immigrate to a different country by going through a difficult asylum process"

You do realize how ridiculous and a unrealistic the statements are right?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

The thing is...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Get them removed instead. It's more effective and cuts your ovarian cancer risk in half

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But getting your tubes tied is reversible and we won't be in this mess forever (copium)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Tubal ligations are generally not reversible. They're considered a permanent form of contraception and any doctor who performans them makes this clear to their patients.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

States like Texas are killing so many women with this bullshit... https://www.propublica.org/article/texas-maternal-mortality-analysis-methodology

but honestly, I gotta wonder what the fuck the docs are doing following orders that kill their patients. I get that texas is all about punishing anyone but they have a literal oath to do no harm. medical professionals keep letting women die due to texas's bullshit rules.

shame on the AMA for allowing it to continue.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I got my tubes yeeted the minute I could after Roe was overturned and my state began talking about a 6wk limit. No regrets, just anger for everyone who isn't in the same position in life as me and still has to worry about unwanted pregnancy.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 weeks ago

This made me remember when my cousin explained he is required to report when he has a pregnant cow at his farm and the parallel made me shiver

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 weeks ago

P25 calls for a HIPAA removal of coverage for anything reproductive. No doubt for this, the commoditization of women. Well, the uterus really. The woman is just the pesky life support system attached to the uterus.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago

Don't be fooled by where Missouri appears to be on the map, it's part of the deep south.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago

How to ensure an increase in maternal and fetal mortality thanks to people not wanting to be on a list. They’ll avoid seeking prenatal care because I’m sure the state will demand mandatory reporting by medical personnel.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Women, you are not cattle. You are intelligent and capable. Don't believe Missouri.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

So, this with a "P" for pregnant instead?

So, this with a "P" for pregnant?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

and what happens if you don't register

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd imagine you don't voluntarily get on this registry. It's not a gift registry

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

well what happens if you don’t register

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's not designed to have women register themselves. What self-respecting woman would voluntarily report that they might get an abortion, in a state that is openly hostile to that?

Nope, the reporting would be done by nosy health care providers (and perhaps even neighbors, like in TX). Are you a woman of child-bearing age who has to go out of state unexpectedly? Someone might add you to this list. You know, just in case.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well if the votership has anything to do with it: something around 30 to 40% would happily volunteer that information.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

They would volunteer that info on their neighbors, but not themselves. Why? Because the only moral abortions are their own.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Speculation: Probably it'll be mandatory by providers if you attend prenatal care. So it will result in some women avoiding prenatal care putting themselves and their unborn at risk.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

you don't get pregnant, obviously

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I'm sure the doctors will be forced to put them on the list. No doctor visits for women until they determine whether the pregnancy is going to kill them or not, because they'll be fuckd the second the State finds out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

The whole reason I'm conservative is because of my distrust of government. I can't understand why an Orwellian position of tracking pregnant women would be popular to anyone with conservative values. Even under the guise of protecting babies this is disgusting.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Hopefully you no longer consider yourself a "conservative" because that party left you behind over a decade ago.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

And lied about their fiscal conservatism since day one.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

And part of the reason I'm pro government assistance is that they pull this shit regardless so it may as well help some people sometimes

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Missouri is a garbage state and shouldn't exist.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

But who will make it not exist?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

It won't stand.

Ours is a red state, but we voted down right to work, an abortion ban, and then voted to require a $15 minimum wage and paid sick leave.

We're not fascists. Just, apparently, a state that got fed up with Democrats' excuses.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

40% of you aren't fascists

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

You can think that, but the overwhelming majority that voted against the state abortion ban would suggest you're wrong, but sure, keep swallowing everything your social media algorithm is telling you and don't give it any thought.

From where I'm sitting, voting in a $15 minimum wage, required paid sick leave, and voting down an abortion ban objectively means we Missourians have done more for leftist politics than Democrats in DC, where they just expect you all to eat excuses.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Noooo Missouri doesn't support fascism because we're fascists noooo it's because the libs are shit!!!!!!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's true.

We aren't and they are.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yes yes the Democrats are the real fascists, yawn

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

🤦‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

We're not fascists

Sure thing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait, if there's no abortion ban, why the registry?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

For the same reason that, even where abortion is legal, there are a zillion regulations governing clinics: you can make things effectively illegal by adding as many regulatory hurdles as possible.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Aaaand, will this be the reason Americans change anything? Probably not...