this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2025
12 points (100.0% liked)

ADHD

10194 readers
38 users here now

A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

Encouraged:

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Autism

ADHD Memes

Bipolar Disorder

Therapy

Mental Health

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

This post is an explanation of how my personal motivation works, and I am curious how others here relate to it, and if it is a common thing with ADHD.

For starters, I have inattentive-type ADHD, have been diagnosed and on various medications for ~5 years, and am roughly college age for context. I am very highly motivated by other people, basically anything where people are depending on my for something, or will directly help/harm someone depending on my actions. Of course I still have executive dysfunction struggles regardless, but that external motivation helps immensely.

In school this manifested as struggling a lot with homework (often not doing it), but doing very well in-class and with group projects. In my limited work and internship experiences, somewhat predicably, I have done very well as directly working hands-on with coworkers highly motivates me. Unfortunately, personal life progression things like actually getting a job and finding and applying for further education is the exact opposite, and is a struggle. There are of course plenty more examples, but I think that gives the gist of my experience.

[Cross posted from [email protected] cuz I forgor that was mainly a memes community]

top 5 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I have the same problem and wish I could trick myself into seeing myself as a different person because I'm only capable of being nice to and attentive to other people ๐Ÿซ 

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 12 minutes ago

Here's a fantastic secret: eventually you can.

Telling yourself that you are a people too might help (it did not me) but also, you cannot help others until you take care of yourself first. It's worth exploring that thought further as to why you behave that way - especially since there could be several potential reasons, as everyone is not the same cookie cutter personality. It's okay to be different - it's far less than okay to not be able to get stuff done in a world that demands it.

Standard disclaimer I'm no psychologist, so what do I know, really? I just wanted to encourage you that it can be different than it is now.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

This sounds exactly like me. I'm about twice your age, and only realized I was ADHD inattentive a few years ago when I was trying to learn what to expect with my new ADHD diagnosed stepson.

Not letting down others is my biggest motivator. I'll let my life fall apart from neglect, but heaven forbid someone else become slightly inconvenienced! Sounds insane when you spell it out, but knowing is half the battle I guess.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I'll let my life fall apart from neglect, but heaven forbid someone else become slightly inconvenienced!

Exactly. It is frustrating sometimes though knowing exactly what is wrong with my brain and why I struggle and yet having such a hard time dealing with it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 40 minutes ago

Keep an eye out for toxic people.

It took me WAY too long to learn this, as I kept bending over backwards for people who would kick me when I'm down before they'd help me back up.

It's ok to just stay away from those people as much as possible. You don't owe them ANYTHING.