Lesbians

Hi! I'm gay and engaged to my long term friend. I recommend holding off on any serious expectations like marriage until you've lived together and shared a bed for a while, 6 months at least. You really don't know how a relationship will go until you're around each other ALL the time. You will see each other at your very best and very worst. You'll get in arguments about inconsequential stuff, because sometimes one of you is tired or cranky or had a bad day. You need to learn how you communicate and resolve conflicts as a couple, not just as friends. My fiancee is my best friend first, and always will be, but we had to learn how we work as partners.

I'm so so happy you've found love and with someone that you're already friends with, but I think you need to be very careful about putting too much pressure on this relationship. It will go better without the pressure, and you're less likely to run into disillusionment when things get harder, which they will. Give yourselves time to find out who you are together before making the lifelong commitment, even though that may be your goal the entire time. It certainly was for us.

Dating is not the same thing situation as being friends. Living together isn't the same thing as dating even. I wish you the best of luck, but as a random on the Internet who knows nothing about you or your situation - marriage doesn't have to mean anything. You can have everything marriage can give you without the legal work of marriage and personally I think striving for that is the best green flag a couple can have.