this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2025
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I wouldn't let him eat dog food πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago

My dog cries for the same reason.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My parents tried to stop me from eating dog food, but I figured out that they couldn't stop me if I grabbed some when they weren't watching. It has a very... distinctive flavor that I still remember 40 years later.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

Oh man and that was before all of the now-famous β€œquality ingredients β€œ too. 🀒

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

I suggested she go potty before bedtime.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

Let them eat dog food

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I turned on the "wrong water" in the shower. (?)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I do benefit from reading these accounts. Helps ground me. My kid sometimes makes me feel like he's completely unglued, an assiduous non-participant in consensus reality. "Mayonnaise is spicy," or he will calmly inform me that "my favourite green thing is nobody because nobody is green". Doesn't remember anything about anything, totally time blind, filled with chaotic impulses that leave him perennially scraped and bruised.

And yet on the sliding scale of kids in general, he's basically lucid.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Mayonnaise is spicy

I diagnose your child with white.

Also if it's real mayo, he might be referring to the slight acidity.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

He was three at the time, it was a vocab issue. Still funny years later.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why not? Dog food is edible for humans but doesn't taste good. Lesson learned?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Thats what i thought too. So i let my boy get some fresh cat food before the cats ate and guess what? Its not as bad tasting as i thoughts as he still tries to eat it all the time. On the other hand he frequently still munches on some sand from time to time so why would i expect anything else?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

I've heard people on a fixed income will eat cat food if they fall behind on expenses and can't afford human food.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Thats right, its edible. But how do i tell my toddler to only eat fresh cat food and not the leftovers of the cats straight out of their bowl that were laying around all morning? And i need you to tell the cats that they will need to share from now on. I certainly wont be that brave.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Hahaha well

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Oh if you haven’t had the pleasure yet, wait until you get the meltdown to end all meltdowns when you make their lunch wrong (I.e., you used the wrong knife or some shit). 🀣

Jokes aside (I’m not really joking), you’re doing great! You should get into the habit of never apologizing for keeping your kid alive. In fact, the more they object, the more you’re succeeding.

(Frankly I’m amazed we’ve survived as a species for so long.)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Best one is not knowing in advance which of the five identical bowls is "his" one.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Do not, under any circumstances, break the banana.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

I put too much ketchup on their plate.

[–] GravityAce 8 points 1 week ago

Mine asked for something but was soo convinced I would say no that they just assumed that was what my response was....

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

they want to explore everything. we let them explore the appropriate things, and then, there is nothing left to explore expect inappropriate things.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A friend's son cried because his father didn't let him taste something spicy. Some seconds later he cried because he now knew what spicy meant. It wasn't "hot ones"-hot and the milk was ready.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

just let them. teach them the lesson directly.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

You forgot to post on kidsarefuckingstupid