this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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What is the horse going to do with prep time? What am I missing? This seems crucial.
Is it okay to use the surroundings? Humans are good with this. Also with improvising tools. It's kind of our thing. (If we take this away, we'll be way worse but I would get it.) The problem with that is that it's super hard to measure. I could take on a horse in a jungle, I think, but not in the Eurasian Steppe.
It also depends on the age and character of the animal. I was able to grab a swan by its neck and throw it away because it was barely an adult. I bet it would have been a lot harder if it was a year older and even more aggressive. (This was in self defence of course)
Another thing to consider is the premise. Do I choose an animal and the animal is not aware of the danger? Is it aggressive towards me in the normal range of its species? Does the animal try to kill me with all of its power?
If I hear of people grabbing animals by the neck and throwing them away I’d normally be concerned but if you tell me it was a Swan or a Goose I’m like yeah makes sense, they probably deserve it the aggressive little pricks.
I grow out my nails for acoustic guitar so I technically always have a weapon for eye gouging. After blinding the beast I'd go after their throat as hard and as many times as I can while trying to keep distance where possible. It would never work on obvious human killing machines like tigers, gorrilas, bears, etcetera, but it might be helpful on a wolf or anything I can get my arms around. I'm getting older and don't have the stamina for fighting that I used to though so I'll probably die.
he better be riding the horse over a rocky steep incline and not actually trying to fight it. why do they go for big animals? I can take a cat. maybe. most birds native to North America.
A cat can be nasty. If it goes straight for your eyes with its sharp claws you are fucked… If you manage to kick it properly first, then it's fucked. I think the outcome of the fight can really be black or white.
So I assume that doesn't count condors or eagles?
Unarmed, I think I could comfortably defeat almost any four legged creature that stands lower than my knee.
I want to see you fight a crocodile.
Ffff... scrblmlmlblm chewing noises
I was very clear when I said almost
My rule is anything smaller than my knees is gettin it's ass kicked. I've got strong legs and decent form while kicking, and so far haven't found a creature that size I couldn't fend off with a good hit. So far that's mostly meant wild dogs and a goose.
Crocodile?
Damn this is a good point. I've never been anywhere where they'd be an issue.
I've always heard they're quite slow on land though, is that true? If so, yeah I'm pretty sure it won't like getting stomped really hard from behind.
I'm also not sure if I'm counting it if the animal is very long. The technical formula is total volume of animal > height to my knee, so I'd only try to kick a baby to juvenile croc. I don't think my kicks would do much good to like a 300lb crocodile as long as I am tall.
Wild boar has used tusk to knee. It is really effective!
if a wild boar is shorter than like a foot and a half ig I'll have to grit my teeth and take a stabbing. I'm pretty sure that would have to be a baby or juvenile boar though, and as a general rule I think I can kick any babies.
Honeybadger
I mean I'd try, and almost certainly get my leg fucked up in the process. Thankfully, I don't think I'm likely to ever encounter one in the wild, and I hope that I'd be able to resolve the situation peacefully if I ever did.
Nope. You can't.
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What's the girl equivalent of this? I'd like to have some conversations with my wife that don't send her off on list-making/plan-making expeditions or remind her of something she wanted to research on the internet.
Try the same question. Maybe just a slightly smaller horse. Prep-time negotiable.
A single rear leg kick from a horse can easily break your skull apart, snap your neck or spine, cave in your entire chest, snap your femur, shatter your hip.
One good connecting hit and basically 99% of people are dead, paralyzed for life, or at best, extremely seriously injured and needing immediate hospitalization.
An unarmed human is not going to win an aggro'd fight with a horse in some kind of cage match scenario, unless its very young, very old, or quite sick or already injured.
Horses can be very dumb though: In a more real world scenario, you may be able to spook them into breaking their own legs on uneven ground, or even just running off of a goddamned cliff or into a tree or some other obstacle.
Alternatively: Spend the hour of prep time getting horse feed and poison.
Don't fight it, befriend it, and then betray that trust.
Nowhere in the rules says it has to be a fair fight. What if I just shoot the horse from outside of its pen?
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Maybe one of those giant constricting snakes. Do I get a shiv? If I have a shiv that snake is fucked. I like snakes by the way but I think it would be easy to fight one.
I’m not going to fight an animal. I’m easily pinned down by a house cat and they’re pretty small.
There's no way a single dude is dropping a horse with their bare hands.
Just wait it out. Domestic horses are good at dropping themselves.
How many dudes do you think it would take?
I say it takes at least 5 average humans to put a horse in the ground without weapons. And if the horse is also fighting to the death you're losing a couple people for sure.
Source: my entire ass
Ill need a pic of the source for reference.
Source: my entire ass
OP is talking about horses, not donkeys. Also, I hope your donkey wasn't harmed in the process of getting this information.
I agree with your ass
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What's a horse going to do with prep time? Grow opposable thumbs and learn how to use tools?
Run? You can't beat the horse if you can't catch up to it.
Cut to the horse doing a Rocky IV training montage
Animals I have beaten in a fight:
Feral dogs.
Feral dogs likely mixed with eastern coyote. I cheated though, I shot them.
Animals that have beaten me in a fight:
Geese.
A catfish (in my defense, it was massive and the fight was in the water. On land I would have won)
Humans.
Animals I have run from rather than fight:
Hornets.
Bears. Black bear, we startled each other, then I left a trickle down my leg while I ran.
A big pack of dogs. Wasn't armed, and saw them coming.
My record is not exactly impressive
I left a trickle down my leg while I ran.
Wow, sexy bear, huh?
Awww yeeeeahhhh!
I mean it’s better than something truly shit like “I once accidentally stepped on a hamster”.
It was no accident.
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Let's say it was reasonable to 1v1 a horse.
I wanna know what a lone horse does to prepare for a fight, that turns the tables from winning to losing...
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I want to trash-talk her for wasting time in a way that involves wasting another human's time, but its a bigger problem that so many people are lonely and afraid of wasting the time of others. Get out there and troll IRL, people!!
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