Ally question, is it actually offensive to consider someone brave for coming out as trans? Feels like that takes alot of courage.
Trans Memes
A place to post memes relating to the transgender experience.
Rules
- Follow lemmy.blahaj.zone community guidelines.
- Posts must be trans related.
- No bigotry.
- Do not post or link to pornography.
- If a post is tagged with a specific gender identity, keep the conversation centered on that identity.
- Posts that assume the viewer’s gender and/or contain potentially triggering content must be spoilered and tagged at the beginning of the post title. Example content-warning tags that you can copy include the following:
[CW: Assumes Viewer is Transmasc]
[CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem]
[CW: Assumes Viewer is Nonbinary]
[CW: Transphobia]
[CW: Violence]
[CW: Weapons/Firearms]
[CW: Disturbing Imagery]
- Mods can be arbitrary.
Recommendations
- Include other tags in posts for example:
[Transfem/Transmasc/Non-binary]
- Include image description when possible.
- Link to source
No but there's a couple subtlies here. If you are calling someone brave, the context is important. It can come off as condescending. Also coming out isn't an all or nothing thing, see here.
Also in this comic they aren't saying they are brave for coming out. They are saying they are brave for being cis. The underlying assumption there being that being cis or trans is a choice that one can be brave for.
@BiNonBi. people saying supportive things. how refreshing. don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. and don’t expect any people, on any topic, to always say exactly what yu’d like them to. it won’t happen. i can guarantee it.
I'm sorry, is saying to a trans person that they did a great job passing, rude? I thought it would be validating.
Yes, it's rude, because of all of the things it implies. It assumes our goal is to hide our trans identity, as if that's something we all want to do. It assumes that looking cis is better than looking trans, because otherwise it wouldn't be a compliment.
In short, whilst it's unlikely to hurt the person you're saying it to, it sustains a lot of ideas assumptions that hurt all trans people
Is it bad that I wish someone would say "I never would have guessed you were trans" after I come out to them or drop my voice? I need validation on being stealth.
Nope. But it might get old the nth time or if you didn't do something you think shouldn't of outed you.
It's kind of the paradox of being stealth. If you are successful no one notices. So you don't get feedback that you are successful.