DrivebyHaiku

Trans person maybe, some of us are subject to our own personal problems just like anyone... But a concensus of trans people should be the marker. I don't know how many times I have heard someone claim allyship when they are being called out by multiple trans people for something they said or did.

It's interesting how fast some people will flip. Sometimes a well meaning cis person will suggest something as a work around for some trans engineered social convention or accommodation to try and make things easier for them without realizing how it interacts with the actual experience of being trans. When trans people try and explain exactly why it does not work based off of experience the cis person, upset their idea to solve a problem that they do not fully understand was rejected , suddenly start into the old transphobic gems - "oh you're just trying to be difficult, play the victim, nobody will like you if you're that sensitive"

End of day Trans allyship does involve a certain amount of trusting trans people to tell you what makes them comfortable and what they need because it really is a very different experience of gender at it's core. Deciding what we need on our behalf or telling us how we should feel or giving us advice on how to approach transness happens a lot out in the world and it really isn't helpful. It often just exposes how much the speaker does not understand.

Maybe? The fear of clowns is often rooted in the uncanny. The obscuring makeup of clowns makes their emotions and expressions either so overly exaggerated or difficult/impossible to read which messes with the lizard brain and makes them seem to some people, particularly ones who have issues with reading facial cues, as inhuman. It's sort of the same principle that freaks people out about dolls and mannequins. That almost but decidedly not quite human alarm.

Drag makeup generally serves the opposite purpose. It is exaggerated but in such a way as to be easier to read the performer's face at a distance.

The short answer is it's not books. It's mostly licencing deals in the form of video games and merchandise... However HBO is about to put forward a new series that JKR will have executive control and an executive sized pay check for.

It's the "well it already exists and licencing deals are already paid, might as well watch it/play it/own it" that keeps the whole engine rolling on. Every time there's a little bit of advocacy to disengage from the fandom it is always spun as "too late" or focuses on the books or death of the author... But all that's really required is ambivalence.

Inevitably the new HP thing will come out and whether or not trans people mention anything people will drag up the controversy, use the reminder to brigade the spaces trans people connect online, try and goad their trans coworker for a commentary and set off yet another flurry of right wing backlash that makes elevating the franchise a patriotic duty to "stick it to the moralizing trans people to show them who is boss". All of this causes more cultural pressure on a population already underwater with being chased out of the public sphere but it will be framed as a just retaliation for a perceived slight.

It's a song and dance that will continue ad infinitum as long as it's profitable because appearantly nostalgia is worth turning a blind eye to the where the money goes.

Your premise seems to have little regard for scale. Yes people are shitty but how they allocate the resources given to them matters.

Your argument here is nebulous fictional supposed evil people are probably doing bad things which allows you the comfort of not figuring out who is doing little harm vs a lot of harm because under your framework it doesn't matter. As long as any actors real or imaginary in the system are bad you are absolved from participating in trying to alter market forces in your own small way.

To others on here there's a difference between someone who did a shitty thing or has a shitty belief and one whom is tied into a direct political action block they are funding off of the proceeds they get from licencing their intellectual property to video-games and HBO series they are producing right now. This isn't really about reading the books you already own or the DVDs you already have. It's about killing the public interest that is keeping the author relevant and making her megaphone louder and the lawyers she funds to fight Supreme Court cases to disenfranchise trans people richer.

Scale is the main consideration.

Oh for... It's been like a few months, just leave DOGE off your resumes and come up with something to explain the gap! If you were notorious enough to be recognized by name as a DOGE staffer then just go job hunting in the red states or set up somewhere where nobody cares. There's plenty of tech bro nonsense firms that will take them...The softest brush with anything resembling consequences has this lot screaming and while I understand folk love hearing it their entitled assholery is grating as hell.

Statement wise "I don't want the government to tell me what to eat" or variations could mean basically anything. Most of the time it's posturing on behalf of the idea that a lack of government regulation is a good thing which ignores a rather bloody history of food suppliers adulterating food with harmful substances in the name of preservation / cheapening production cost or using production practices that cause the likelihood of contamination of food.

Once you scratch the surface of the argument you can usually figure out more exactly what they mean and it often isn't things like government subsidy programs publishing food pyramids based on shady science and economics rather than in the interest of health.

Often it's based out of perceived personal inconvenience or the appearance of moral judgement such as when there's some sort of health labelling initiative.

In Canada there are a lot of things that are not considered legal additives for food that are used in the US and the difference in strictness is in part because the Health care system in Canada is funded publicly. Producers of foodstuffs cost the government money directly if whatever they put in it has no nutritional value and causes known health problems. Rather than let companies create messes and tragedies which the government is on the hook to clean up when people's health fails they remove the issue at it's source. In the US there's less incentive as these costs become scattered in the form of individual medical bills and oftentimes the savings are from food being shelf stable for longer. Shrugging one's shoulders at the fallout or claiming its an exercise of "freedom" is in service to those who make money hand over fist.

Hey, Non-binary trans masc person in trades here.

I can tell you how I perceive different types of co-worker if it helps you want to dial in what it's like on the other side of the experience. There's layers to the whole situation and as non-binary folks we understand what we are asking for isn't automatically going to click and requires people to figure us out.

First up : Most of us end of day aren't going to rock the boat for anything less than fully agregious behaviour so calls to report other people for being mildly offensive are probably not actually going to go anywhere. Most of us are scared of being labelled "a problem" so we just take the hits when they come. If you are a boss and notice a non-binary person sticking closer to specific people and avoiding others there's a good chance that they've found the people who are safe and avoiding ones who aren't. A great accommodation that can invisibly help is just to recognize this strata and if a task nessesitates putting people together try and pair along these lines. A lot of co-workers wait until other people aren't around to let their nastier behaviour shine.

Now to co-worker types. Aside from the full on transphobe or problem persons there's a range of different stages of cool people.

The "I don't really get it" Co-worker pays lip service to the polite aspects of using pronouns. They are the type to introduce you to others by misgendering you and then flap their hands and go "Oh no sorry 'they'". We know they don't get it or don't really care. The misgendering still hurts but they are fairly benign. They make these accidents non maliciously and are afforded grace. If they step in it we basically disregard because they aren't really worth the effort of getting too comfortable around. We make these accommodations for strangers daily. Annoying but nessisary.

The "in training" co-worker is one whom is encountering their very first trans person. They want you to be their Obi wan and their enthusiasm is a bit of a double edged sword at times. It's tiring to teach people to dance when they keep stepping on your feet but the job needs doing. Some of us veiw this as our own brand of service to the cause of normalizing ourselves more widely. Some of us just don't want to be bothered. Either way, just wanting to learn is heaps better than ambivalence. If you fuck up something, don't make a big deal about it. It's not that you're a terrible person and should have known better. Our stuff takes practice and we know it's not intuitive.

The "A little too up in our shit" co-worker is excited to know the real you but looks at you as a beautiful creature in need of preservation. They might seek to advocate on your behalf or behind your back but the attempt is clumsy and often at odds with a non-binary person's desire to just get through the workday as a regular human and not make waves. Good enthusiasm sure, we're probably friends but for the love of God we're adults and we can sort out our own shit if need be.

The "Understands the Assignment" co-worker is just comfortable to be around. They don't have to be the most tuned in to all the nuance about our specific needs in ways we require more out of partners, family and friends but they treat our basic requirements as no big deal, maybe they occasionally ask questions to check in if they catch us struggling or reacting but aren't going to narc to the boss on our behalf. They either avoid all stereotypes associated with sex or in the case of trans mascs/trans femmes they treat us like one of the boys/girls. Gold standard.

Hey, enby here. While I definitely benefit from they being a default I have enough binary trans friends who have this experience. What the person you are replying to is giving you is something referred to as nuance. A solve put forward by a well meaning cis person doesn't automatically work just because it seems like it should to you. Sometimes it causes new problems and when someone tells you about them it's a good idea to not assume it's them trying to be a dick or difficult about something but actually explaining why that solve isn't always a good thing.

If your intention is to make a trans person actually comfortable instead of getting defensive then listening when these things come up instead of telling them they are trying to be trouble on purpose is the play.

Not everything works for every trans person and inside the trans community there is something sometimes referred to as "the coward's they". It's a well known phenomenon where a physical transition gets to a certain point the brain stops easily registering and sorting someone as being their birth sex because they seemlessly look and act as their gender so the automatic neurological system of assigning them a sex value flips fully to the new and desired setting. You see it on conservative media sometimes where they slip up and use the actual correct pronouns and have to correct themselves back over to using the wrong pronouns... Problem being is it causes the same mental redirect issues for a Conservative actively dodging the automatic reaction as learning to use Non-binary pronouns so as a compromise these people use "they" instead because it is easier to trick the sorter and strand themselves in the safe neutral ground where they can identify a person as "not actually a woman/man" without triggering their audience by using correct pronouns for a trans person.

When you use they/them pronouns for a binary trans person it's interpreted by the brain of the trans person as you seeing and reacting to all the aspects of their body that makes them visibly trans and your brain's automatic sex recognition system sorting them into this "not enough" category. It's effectively less hurtful than full misgendering... But it still pings the bit of the brain that is seeing their own body through your perception via your words. It causes they same dysphoric reaction where their mind picks over all the parts of their body that would cause you to react by misgendering or degendering them. The whole point of preferred pronouns is to help us stop that mental reaction from happening as much.

It is perfectly safe to use they/them pronouns for cis people who do not have dysphoric reactions at all and for non-binary people who actively use those pronouns but if someone rocks up looking like they are trying to project a full binary situation it's worth going for the full binary pronoun option because they are specifically putting in the work to be as obvious as possible so that people know that's what they want.

It's non-specific to queer culture. It's been around for ages as a sort of funny bar standby or joke drink.

I encounted them first about 20 years ago in Canada. Had one for my 19th birthday at a random bar long before I came out as trans. Most of the time it's a vehicle for the joke of someone saying they got you a blowjob for some kind of special occasion.

Have you ever been to a kid centric drag show? They are a blast! There's a lot of overlap with traditional clowning and kids love the silly Princesess and over the top characters. It's also a safe way to show kids that gender presentation can be playful. A lot of drag queens who do kids shows love the wholesome vibes of dancing, reading to kids and being silly with little chaos munchkins just like any other performer who works with children. It's the same reasons some folk become Clowns, Santa Clauses or Easter Bunnies.

If you don't want to bring kids to a drag act that is your choice. Walk on by. Nobody is forcing anyone to bring their kid to a drag act, quite frankly nobody wants a sourpuss in the audience...but the issue is that a lot of parents and religious people who "don't want kids around drag queens" are taking that choice away from parents who want their kids to try that experience. They aren't making that decision for their kids they are taking that experience away from everyone by making those events unsafe or cancelling them through interference.

Nobody is throwing tantrums that some parents don't want that experience for their kids. Nobody cares. It doesn't impact them in the least if they just don't participate. It's like the same level of don't care if you told them you are not going to a jazz festival or something. They might say "well you are missing out on a good time' but it's not like it really matters.

Yeah as a bottom with a large partner with delayed ejaculation I can say that while people seem to value length and stamina/lasting power in porn... the reality is there's advantages to not accidentally knocking the absolute stuffing out of your partner and tiring them to the bone whenever you do the deed.

Aight, so whomever needs to hear this. The average vaginal canal is only about 3-4 inches long and might lengthen to about 5 inches if relaxed. Despite what bad porn anatomy might tell you it can hurt to go deeper than that. All of the nerve endings are clustered at the opening.

The prostate is two inches deep. Virtually all the same mechanics apply.

Your penis is fine.