ZeroCool

Lucky ferry passengers, who were almost too distracted by a pod of orcas breaching in Elliott Bay, caught a rare glimpse today of a single cargo ship entering the Port of Seattle.

“I can’t believe it! I’ve been wanting to see any sign of normal economic activity and international trade since the Port of Seattle emptied weeks ago due to tariffs and finally I’m seeing it with my own eyes!” said one passenger in a video circulating on social media today of a gigantic rusted container ship gliding into Seattle.

In a time honoured tradition, an American president has thrown another country’s election.

This time by installing Anthony Albanese as Australia’s Prime Minister, by making everyone too scared to vote for Peter Dutton.

The expert strategy for the US was focused around them fucking up their own economy and freaking out Aussies into voting for anyone who doesn’t remind them of Trump.

The liberation of Australia went so well that not only did the threat to civilisation’s party lose, he also lost his seat.