If you swap the words cis and trans in this, it's just as absurd. Respect yourself. Be who you want to be. Trans, cis, be the dinosaur astronaut you wanted to be when you were four years old. The mere act of asking yourself what you want and really listening to the answer is all the permission you need.
Modal editing for just raw text input would actually be slower, because you also enter and leave Insert Mode. I find it's very fast and powerful for navigating around the text, which you probably do a lot more than actually editing it. And when it does come to editing, there are a lot of higher-level tools (at least in Vim) for accomplishing things more quickly, like the 's' command and 'q' macros.
I think getting into a mental "flow" state is really valuable, and muscle memory is important for being able to stay there. If your muscle memory is to navigate around using the mouse, that's great, but Vim feels faster to me.
Thank you for this! Questioning and considering one's gender is such a valuable thing for both trans and cis people, I'd like to say that anyone in this process of self-discovery is a hatching egg. And just like a hatching egg, the best thing you can do is to give it a supportive environment and plenty of time.
Everyone's experience is different, and everyone will deal with different hangups, that's true. I grew up in a very repressed environment myself, actually, and it has been a real struggle and many years of shedding layer after layer of repression to get to where I am, and every time it's been learning how to listen to myself. I'm also not disagreeing with you either! ❤️