Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/1L3GEND on 2024-01-22 17:23:09+00:00.

 To start this off I (20M) and my aunt (26F) lived in different states. She went on maternity leave and her job didn’t cover it like she thought she did. After one of our calls throughout the week she was stressing on paying her bills and her credit getting hit by it. When she gave me a number on how much she needed to catch back up it was over 2K and I sent it over without hesitating. I’ve loaned her money in the past and she’s always paid me back with no issues. 
 My job at the time paid me extremely well and my cost of living was down so I had the extra money to loan out. I moved closer to family and all was good for 2 months ( I didn’t expect a payment until after Thanksgiving and Christmas since those holidays hurt everyone’s wallet) but I had a huge falling out with my entire family. 
 March comes around and I go to her job just to see what her plan was since I had no way of communicating with her so I wanted to follow up with her. She then says “what do you need the money for because your mom keeps saying you need it for other reasons” to which I respond “it doesn’t matter what I need my money for it’s my money” she proceeds to say I’m harassing her at work so I leave. I told her if I didn’t get anything I’d take her to court so she said for me to take her to court but I gave her 2 more months to do the right thing. 
 I finally got the paperwork to file a small claims against her and the judge awarded me the money she owed plus court cost. This was at the end of May, she told the Judge she was planning to make a payment the following month so I waited. 
 October rolled around and I still hadn’t received a single payment so I garnished her checks for the highest amount I could get each pay period. My family thinks I shouldn’t have sued her and handled it like adults but the way I see it since she’s 6 years older than me she acted childish. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PhotoPractical9231 on 2024-01-22 17:17:27+00:00.

My (20M) girlfriend (19F) and I have been dating for the past two years, and 2 months ago we welcomed a beautiful baby boy into our lives. Things have been kind of hectic, but we’ve been managing. And yes, before you say anything I realise that we’re very young to have a kid, but we’re in love with each other and we’re both very mature for our age so we believe we’re ready to start our family. My girlfriend chose not to get an abortion for religious reasons and we have financial support from my parents so we don’t have to worry about money.

I have been best friends with this girl (19F) for around a decade. She’s kind, funny, pretty, but we practically grew up together so I’ve only ever seen her as like a sibling. She has supported me through thick and thin and we have been there for each other during our hardest times. Around three weeks after my son was born, her 13 year old sister tragically died. She was absolutely heartbroken and was struggling to cope with the loss. Her sister was the only person in her family she had a good relationship with my friend blamed herself for not being there for her. She has a distant relationship with her mother, her friends from school now live very far away, and she’s quite introverted so she hasn’t made a lot of new close friends, so I’m pretty much the only support she has. I went to the funeral with her back in our hometown, I bring her her favourite food to make sure she eats something, I message her everyday to see if she’s doing well. She’s battled with depression before and I’m terrified of losing her too. I hang out with her a couple of times a week, going on walks, watching movies together, reading at the library, baking together, painting with her, playing video games, going on picnics etc, all the activities she used to love doing with her sister. We reminisce about all the fun memories we had with her sister, and it’s never become anything more than platonic.

Apart from when I’m with my friend, in class, doing my assignments/studying, or at work, I spend the rest of my time supporting my family, helping with taking care of the chores around the house, bottle-feeding and bathing my son, etc. But recently I’ve been getting into arguments with my girlfriend. She’s been suspicious of me spending “all my time” with my friend, knowing full well that I’m simply supporting her. In the first month after our son’s birth I did everything I possibly could to make motherhood easier for her, and I still would have if it wasn’t for someone I love and care about deeply going through a hard time. I have been completely honest to my girlfriend about helping my friend, yet she started accusing me of “neglecting” her and our son and saying that I only cared about my friend because I had a crush on her. I empathise and understand that she’s having a stressful time adjusting to parenthood after an unplanned pregnancy, but I think I should be allowed to support my best friend with her grief. AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway199008112 on 2024-01-22 17:15:34+00:00.

My (19M) brother (24M) was watching his son (3M) when they were over at our parents place this weekend, but he got distracted for a minute and my nephew fell into the backyard swimming pool. Thank god I heard it in time and jumped into the pool and saved him - we are all aware a tragedy could have happened, everyone is still in shock and my father already started working on gating the pool. I did have another kind of financial loss though, because I had my cellphone in my pocket when I jumped in the pool, and is dead now.

I told my brother I will look to buy a new one and send him the bill; he thinks he is not responsible for paying and says he can not believe that’s what I’m thinking about after his son almost died. So I said it was HIS fault that his son almost died, he should be down on his knees thanking God and kissing my feet for saving his son’s life, and the least he can do is pay for a phone of my choice. My mother says to give him time. AITA for insisting here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EveningShow5996 on 2024-01-22 15:54:27+00:00.

I (27 F) have been best friends for over 6 years with a guy. Let's call him James (29 M). I met him at my first job (he was an employee from a different company doing a business deal) and ended up becoming friends ever since. Me and him almost never had any kind of argument, this is actually maybe the first time we had a serious argument. He is very sweet, kind and gentle to me. He would frequently give me gifts like custom jewelry (necklaces, anklets etc). I usually would give him a sweater or a stuffed animal I knitted as a present. I'm feeling really guilty right now for being mad at him because he really is the bestest friend i could ask for. To clarify, the reason I am mad at him is not because he didn't ask for my "permission" or something. It's because I don't think he knows that a permanent tattoo is a irreversible change, because even if you remove the tattoo it would still leave marks. I'm just kinda worried he will regret it when he gets a girlfriend. We ended up having a 30 minute argument about this. Am I overreacting?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Corner_6695 on 2024-01-22 13:46:30+00:00.

Hi, I’m 24f and my bf is 25m. We’ve been dating for 10 months and I live with him btw just to add context! :-) I know he seems a bit judgemental in this post but he’s genuinely really kind outside of health stuff btw 🩷🩷

So, over the past 8 months I’ve gained around 40lbs. I’ve been very stressed and struggling mentally, don’t want to get into it here really. I’m getting treated for it though. I’m quite short and I was average before so obviously my weight gain is noticeable and I’m now fairly overweight. I’m just trying to accept my body right now rather than losing weight because it made me feel really insecure to begin with.

My bf knows I gained weight (and the reasoning) and he’s been supportive for the most part but I can tell the fact that I’m overweight is really bothering him. This stuff doesn’t happen often but it really bothers me. I ask him how I look in outfits sometimes and he says my face is really pretty. He’ll be rude about fat people in public and say that they’re so gross and lazy, and he never did this before I started gaining weight. I’ve told him I’m focusing on improving mentally and losing weight later on down the line but he says I have weak willpower, he’s even calculated my BMI recently and sent me studies about health risks. I know this and I know my body isn’t perfect or something to be proud of right now, but I’m working on stuff.

I sat him down at the weekend and throughly told him that I will not be losing weight and I’d like for him to stop because it’s making my mental health worse right now. He said that he’s just trying to help and it hurts for him to see me like this. I told him I’m going to lose it soon just not right now and I want to like my body no matter what I look like. We got into an argument about it to be honest and he told me I was manipulative by tricking him to think he was dating a thin person like how I was before I gained weight ?

I’ve been thinking about it more today and i think he weirdly might be right. He’s been rude about it sure but it must be hard to adjust from seeing what your girlfriend looks like 8 months ago to now, not to mention that it’s a bit embarrassing for him when he’s genuinely a 10 he’s so gorgeous. I feel like i have been using it as an excuse a bit but I also still feel offended by what some of hes said so i’d like some unbiased answers. AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/freudsrealmother on 2024-01-22 18:08:52+00:00.

Throwaway. I (30F) still can't fathom what recently occurred. My brother Josh (27) married Kelly (26) last year after a brief three-month romance. They claimed she was his "soulmate." While my parents disapproved, I was simply concerned. I did not meet them so much since I lived two hours away.

I'm currently pregnant. My due date is in two months. We hosted our families, including Josh and Kelly, for my baby shower yesterday. However, right from the beginning, Kelly's behavior was off-putting; she was constantly making negative comments, Which I ignored. At one point, however, she loudly called the event "fucking dumb," leaving everyone shocked. My mother took her aside after a few mins and then Kelly asked for space from all of us and retreated to our guest room. Josh checked in on her once.

Toward the end of the party, when only few people were left in the house, Mom &I went to check on her but she was not in the guest room, and all rooms close to the GR had been looked into. We found her in our closet, going through our stuff. She quickly got out after saying she was looking for the restroom (despite knowing where it was in the hallway). She left to join the group in the living room.

I had already suspected something was up, so I wanted to check in all the rooms just in case. Nothing was missing or out of place except for the nursery. But what I also noticed was a foul smell in the room. I've been decorating my baby's nursery for a while now so I knew this was not normal. I was looking for the source when I looked over into the bassinet. I could not believe what I saw there - It was a full-blown turd. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BABY'S BASSINET. There was no way an animal could've come into the room and it was clearly human poop. But I called my mom and husband in and they saw what I saw. There was only one person from the party who had been in this part of the house and it was Kelly.

At some point I started to cry and I stormed into the living room to confront her. When I called her out - her face told that she knew what this was about. She feigned innocence for a while but then asked me what proof I had to prove it was hers. This is when I Lost my cool and screamed at her to get out of my house. Josh got angry at me for trying to kick his wife out and screamed back. I asked him if her knew what was up, to which he refused. Then I told him, in front of everyone, that Kelly had pooped in the bassinet. He did not believe me, but I took him to show it and some other people also followed leading to public confrontation and shame. She started screaming, calling me a witch and saying she wished I die in childbirth - my husband promptly kicked both of them out.

Since morning however Josh and Kelly have both been texting me saying I embarrassed them and this could have been solved privately but they refuse to give me the reason why she did it or apologise so I am not responding anymore. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Appropriate_Mud206 on 2024-01-22 17:21:11+00:00.

Throwaway as the other family has my reddit

I (19f) have been dating my bf, Jake, (19m) for almost a year now, we have lived together for a while aswell due to circumstances, Jakes mom (vicky 37ish f) has 8 other kids aged between 10 months and 16yrs with one more on the way but they live in a 4 bedroom house. So there isnt much space. Me and my jake live in a 3 bed rental a 5 minute drive away.

Vicky asked me if me and jake would mind if the younger kids came and stayed with us for a few weeks after the baby is born so they dont have to worry about the other kids. I said no, i dont want to be responsible for them as we looked after 2 of them for a few days when they went on holiday and had to spend our own money on the kids, for food, and all of that. Vicky was insistent, telling us we had enough space and wanted the 2, 3, 5, and 7 year olds to stay with us, saying the reason they waited for the next kid was for me and jake to move so that they could spend more time with the baby.

Then she asked us if we would at least come stay with them on their sofa for a few weeks as we used to live on the sofa, and just prepare meals and make sure the younger ones are cared for.

Jake now feels guilty because he knows his parents are overwhelmed, but personally i dont think they should be having any more kids as they dont have space, but i am not going to stop them, but i feel like its immoral to enable them.

However i feel like i might be the asshole as if the kids dont stay with us they wont be being looked after properly.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Wrong_Election on 2024-01-22 15:31:02+00:00.

Back in my freshman year of high school, there was a co-ed lunch time during one of the lunch periods that I happened to be with that year. There was one student who had cerebral palsy that consistently sat with us at my table. I had no issues with that, in fact I enjoyed it, there would be interesting conversations every day for months. Until one day I said in casual conversation the common phrase, "it's as easy as two plus two" and he didn't understand it. He asked what I meant by that, and I explained that two plus two is a standard equation that everyone knows and is a basic understanding of math. He was still confused, so I asked him if he knew what math was, and I distinctly remember him saying "What's that?" After that, I told him he should probably ask his dad or parents for any further questions because I didn't know how to explain to him what the entirety of math or numbers was at 14-15 years old. A few weeks later, he stopped coming to our lunch table and was nowhere to be seen, so I asked one of the teachers where he went. They said that he had just up and left to a new school without warning for an unknown reason. I had a suspicion it was because of me, I told him to basically tell his parents that he didn't know something that I thought he should, so they must have moved him to a place that would teach him. Later on as a few weeks go by, I got curious and asked the co-ed teachers what they taught in their classes, and they said; cooking, cleaning, washing dishes and clothes, and standard household experiences to get them ready for out of school living. This made me realize that I just made a kid move away from the most important thing he'll need in life, to learn useless basic math. Ever since then it's been nagging on my mind and I haven't been able to shake it, and that's why I come here. Sorry for the wall of text, but I figured I'd give what I remember.

TLDR; I accidentally made a special needs student move to another school because he didn't know basic math instead of useful life skills, regretted it ever since.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Numerous-Map5371 on 2024-01-22 15:24:39+00:00.

Hi, (I apologize ahead of time if there are grammatical errors) I (25 F) have had a very toxic relationship with my mother (43 F) my whole life as far as I can remember. However with in the past 7 years have begun to become the worse by the year. So here I am today, past year and a half has been hell. I don’t know where to start but I’m going to have to start with the craziest part of it all. So around mid 2022, my mother has it in her head that her neighbors below her are harassing her and breaking into her apartment, mind you she has a camera in her house. I’ve checked the camera multiple times and saw nothing suspicious or wrong. So it proceeds to get worse by the day with her shenanigans. I started noticing that these accusations were really weird and it ma proceeds to get worse by the day with her shenanigans. I started noticing that these accusations were really weird and it didn’t make sense. So I just kind of would not entertain it as much as she was making it seem like these people were trying to hurt her and what not. it got to the point where she was stating that they were hacking into her Internet, her phone, enter her bank account. Now I for one, know that’s not the easiest thing to do. But that’s not the craziest part, it’s gotten to the point where she’s stated that these people were following her all over the town. I just didn’t understand where she was getting this from. It just was weird. I know this sounds like it’s not real. However, it’s very much real. I just… Let’s just say it got worse.. so months go by she somehow in someway got the neighbors evicted with very minimal proof. And it got to the point that she was still complaining to her landlord about them when they were no longer there.. so the landlord pretty much told her to move out. Which is the logical thing to do. So during this time she out of nowhere decides to blame me for telling these people all of these different things p so the landlord pretty much told her to move out. Which is the logical thing to do. So during this time she out of nowhere decides to blame me for telling these people all of these different things(she’s done these accusations, my whole life), and pretty much told me to come get my car keys from her and that I am just gonna drop her her house keys off to her. Which is absolutely fine I didn’t care nonetheless however, I was pretty pissed about the accusations when I had nothing to do with it and I don’t know these people. I had called her to get my birth certificate so I can get my passport, but that did not happen, obviously.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Conscious_Mirror6276 on 2024-01-22 15:20:38+00:00.

I (26F) and my partner of 8 years (30M) both come from middle class backgrounds. We have made the decision to spend the rest of our lives together and we spend hours talking about how our lives are going to look like in the future. We usually talk about our finances, housing situation and things that go along after marriage. We have started investing together as well in some SIPs.

He is doing well for himself and loves to buy things for himself and those around him. He goes on shopping sprees and spend a good chunk of money, which sometimes I find too much. I have pointed this out to him, and he says it’s okay for me to tell him to stop when he is spending too much on things he doesn’t need.

However, one thing that I particularly don’t like is when he spends on other people without thinking. A little background on his family: He has 2 sisters, one of them is married and her husband is well off who does better than my husband. The other sister is unmarried but she has a good job and does well for herself as well.

My partner spends on expensive gifts like designer bags, clothes, latest tech gadgets and gives them to his sisters on multiple occasions every 3rd month. Every time they go out (my partner, his sisters and the brother in law) it’s my partner who picks up the tab every time. (I am not sure how adamant they are to pay the bill, but I know that my partner thinks it’s his responsibility to pay). He has even given the unmarried sister his credit card so she can order whatever she can, whenever she wants. The married sister gets these gifts on every occasion. Recently he bought her a very expensive phone on her birthday.

In our culture, it’s important for the brother to give gifts and money to the married sister on festivals, birthdays etc but I believe he tends to overboard. I don’t mind the gifts, but I believe that it sets out back financially every time he goes overboard.

A little background on me: I have a great job that I enjoy and to get married to him I would have to leave my job and move to a small city with no job prospects, whatsoever. He is doing well for himself and he works really hard but I believe that we need to seriously start saving up for ourselves and our future and spending all that money elsewhere will only set us back in our financial goals.

I have tried talking to him but he says that it’s his responsibility to take care of his sisters and everyone in the family to the best of his abilities. He thinks it is not a big deal but to me it is. I have stopped bringing this up because I don’t want him to think I have an issue with him spending on his sisters but it still bothers me every time.

Am I wrong in any way?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mos_Steff on 2024-01-22 15:11:53+00:00.

So I(31f) brought up a "funny" story to my friend Alice(29f) last week and she's still pretty pissed. 10 years ago we lived together in a new city and I had a boyfriend almost immediately moving there probably because I didn't know anyone and felt homesick. Funny thing is I have come out as lesbian in the meantime and realized I only dated men when I was young because it was easy and I guess liked the attention.

A little history, we met because my much older boyfriend in high school ditched me at prom and came to the after party with her while casually saying he was done with me(he was 22, I was 17 and Alice was 15! Cue Law and Order theme song). Anyways I was young and stupid so instead of blaming him I blamed her(I know). I was horribly mean to her and she started to join our friend group so I saw her all the time. One day there was a group beach day but he ended up doing the same thing to her. Bringing another minor around and telling her he was just done with her. I let her cry to me and we both realized this guy was a creep and joined forces to take him down. Our relationship was a strange one but we realized we had a ton in common and actually really enjoyed hanging out and ended up becoming very close friends.

A few years later she told me she was moving to a new exciting city and needed a roommate and since I had family issues and wasn't going to college I decided to impulsively move there with like $800 lol. I definitely glorified it in my head and felt pretty lonely once living there so I went to an party and met a man named Devon(21m). I thought he was really cool because he worked at a dispensary and at that time it wasn't commonly legal anywhere so tons of free marijuana. But after about two months I noticed he was extremely distant and was constantly cancelling plans and on the flip side Alice was randomly starting arguments with me all the time and suddenly always had tons of weed(weird because she was broke all the time).

One day she was on her phone whispering and then immediately went into the shower so while it was still unlocked I creeped through her phone. I read the texts between her and Devon and he said things like "you're so much hotter and I love our soft core love affair(whatever that means). I never told her I snooped though and pretended that I just wasn't interested in him anymore and broke things off.

Things have changed a lot in 10 years, she is now married and I am super gay. We have been talking a lot on the phone lately after a tragedy happened in my immediate family and she has been wonderful and supportive and I look forward to our hours long phone calls. However I might of effed up. Last week we were talking about how insane we both were when we lived together and I brought up how I snooped through her phone and asked her what the fuck is a "soft core love affair" haha. I was saying it in a very light hearted way and clearly hold no animosity but she was MAD!! She hasn't called me this week so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Known_Hope_9613 on 2024-01-22 15:11:40+00:00.

I (30f) lost my husband 4 years ago. We share two children together. Our son is 9 and our daughter is 6. Since my husband's death I have focused on myself and my children and I have no interest in dating or finding another husband. My mom has experience with this as when my sister and I were children (6 me and 8 her) we lost our dad and mom remarried 15 months later and at the time she told us we were getting "a new dad". Once her husband arrived in our lives there was an expectation and a pressure to call him dad and mom took down all photos of dad. We (me and my sister) took some photos of dad and hid them with our friends out of fear mom would destroy or throw them all away. She didn't. But the ones we didn't take were kept locked up in storage somewhere and have never seen the light of day. My sister asked for them on a few occasions and was told she didn't need them. Our dad's stuff is likely in there too if they weren't tossed in the garbage. It caused a lot of strain between us and mom.

For the last 2 years my mom has been dropping hints that I should get back out there and I always said I didn't want to or I would ignore it. Then a couple of months ago she told me I need to get my kids a dad before it's too late, that I need a husband. I told her they have a dad and he doesn't need to be replaced. She dropped it for another few weeks but then last week she brought it up to me again. She told me the kids need a dad and I need a husband around or I will be alone and lonely the rest of my life. She told me I can't remain dedicated to being my husband's wife for the rest of my life. She said I'm too young and the kids are too young to never get another dad. I told her I don't want another husband and my kids don't need another dad. She asked me where I would be if she had that mindset and I didn't have a dad. I told her I lost my dad at 6 and miss him every day and I never had another one.

Things escalated from there and asked me how I could say that when her husband has been my dad for 24 years. I told her he never has been and never will be and just because she replaced my dad doesn't mean I want to replace my husband. Mom was furious and told me that wasn't fair and I should understand her better. I told her I understood her even less after losing my husband because I would never remove all traces of him from the home and I would never deny my kids his things the way she did. I would never force my kids to call someone else dad and I told her I can't even imagine wanting to find them someone else to call dad. I told her they had an amazing dad and he's still their dad. Just the way mine will always be my dad. She called me spiteful and selfish and she went to my sister for backup but she told her she feels the same way.

My aunt, who is my mom's sister, told me I shouldn't have said what I did and accusing her of replacing my dad instead of seeing she just wanted us to be happy is cruel and I am old enough that I should understand.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/DreamUsed210 on 2024-01-22 15:02:14+00:00.

This past Christmas, my mother got my daughter "Amy" (4F) a doll she'd been asking for. It's a baby version of Mirabel, from the Disney movie Encanto. It quickly became her favorite.

My husband's cousin "Nat" has a daughter I'll call "Julie" (6F). I wouldn't classify her as "spoiled", but she does have a tendency of disobeying other people.

There have been numerous occasions in which I asked Julie to do something ("please sit down", "please don't touch that", etc.) and she either ignored me or went behind my back to do the opposite. While I understand that she's a child, Nat rarely makes any attempt to educate her daughter or correct her behavior.

Last week, Nat and Julie came to visit us with some other relatives. Julie saw the Mirabel doll and asked my daughter if she could play with her. Amy refused. Julie protested, but I spoke with the girls and managed to get them to play with other toys.

Some time later, the kids sat down to watch TV while me and the others got dinner ready. When we went back to the living room, Julie was gone. After a short search, we found her in my bathroom. She had taken not only the Mirabel doll, but also my nail polish carrying case.

Julie had used my nail polish to paint the doll's hair, face and dress. It covered most of her facial painting, matted her hair and ruined her clothes. Amy saw what happened and was devastated. When we asked Julie what she was doing, she said she was giving the doll a makeover.

Nat and Julie left in a hurry. The next day, I asked Nat what she planned to do about it, she suggested that the girls apologize to each other (Julie for painting the doll; Amy for not sharing it in the first place) and "hug it out", and offered to give me a couple new bottles of nail polish.

I made it clear that Amy didn't need to apologize, and while I didn't care about the nail polish (they cost $4 and Julie didn't empty the bottles she used), I did expect Nat and her husband to replace the doll.

Nat refused. She said that it wouldn't be fair for her to waste money over an "innocent mistake" a child had made. She also doesn't think Julie should be the only one apologizing, as none of this would have happened if Amy had agreed to share in the first place.

I asked her twice, she said no both times. Finally, I called her husband and explained the situation. He apologized profusely and agreed to buy Amy a new doll. He stopped by on Saturday and gave it to us. He also brought Julie along and made her apologize to Amy.

Apparently, Nat and her husband fought over this, as she kept insisting that Julie was just a child and they owed us nothing. So now, in addition to saying it was entitled of me to expect a new doll, she is blaming me for their fight.

My husband is on my side, but my MIL thinks I should apologize, as this has blown out of proportion and I could have dealt with it more gracefully. She also thinks it was wrong of Amy to refuse to share.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Easy-Property-2907 on 2024-01-22 14:59:13+00:00.

This is a throwaway account, I am 23 and my brother is 26. Growing up he was a huge handful, it got to the point were I was sent away to live with my grandparents. My brother got kicked out when he turned 18 and my mother has avoided him since. I do remember my parents trying to help him a lot but overall he was out of control and I do not like him.

After he was kicked out I moved back in and we worked a lot on my relationship with my parents, we are good now. My brother has started to slowly integrate back into the family. He is close to my uncle and I saw him for my cousins birthday this weekend.

He told me that he was diagnosed with a mental condition that kids can’t be diagnosed with ( I will not include the name due to the stigma around it and to stop people playing doctor in comments) he is gettin treatment.

I told him I don’t care about his diagnosis and to stay away from me. My uncle is pissed at me and told me I should understand. I am doubting myself and my mother is on my side.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Path-Majestic on 2024-01-22 14:54:36+00:00.

My family (23F) is originally from Jamaica, and I’m very proud of where we come from. My parents emigrated in the 80s, but they made a point of traveling home several times per year and maintaining a Jamaican household to keep my siblings and I connected to our culture.

I returned from this year’s vacation this past weekend, and I was telling Coworker A about it during our break because they asked what I was eating (a very popular dish there). Coworker B overheard that I was talking about Jamaica, and started gushing about going there over Christmas and how “immersed” in the culture she felt.

I asked her where she stayed and what she did, and she said that she stayed in a Sandals resort and never really left except when she went to swim with dolphins and sail on a catamaran. I asked her whether she went to Kingston (where I was) and she said that she didn’t because it was just “too unsafe.” I then asked her if she enjoyed the food and she said that she didn’t have any of the Jamaican dishes “because she didn’t know what they were.” I didn’t say anything, and just kept a smile plastered on my face, told her that I’m “glad she enjoyed the resort”, and went back to eating my lunch and talking to Coworker A.

Coworker B then questioned why I wasn’t engaging with her because “she’s been to the country” and I pointed out that she didn’t interact with locals, eat the food, or leave the Sandals except for tourist experiences so I didn’t feel like we could engage about much. She then got upset with me and accused me of “gatekeeping” my culture and ruining the memory of her vacation. I felt bad because Coworker A said that I didn’t have to ask her all those questions, but when I told my mom about it, her and my family were on my side. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aatkbd_GAD on 2024-01-22 14:52:41+00:00.

I got mixed messages leading up to and taking the flight to attend my grandfather's funeral. Now I'm getting regular phone calls containing guilt trips and venting.

My wife and I have have 3 sons under the age of 3. My grandfather passed away and the funeral is in a different state. We are not in a situation were I can take the whole family. I didn't think I could go in the beginning. The stress of one person taking care of three young kids plus the financial burden of traveling seemed too much. When I mentioned I wasn't going, she insisted I do. I tried to express why, but was interrupted and encouraged to go. She said the cost was equivalent to a trip to bulk food store and she would rally the troops to get the help needed. I talked to my in-laws about this and they also encouraged me to go. They said they will help as much as they could while I was away.

After two days of debating, I bought the cheapest flight I could find. It was for 4 nights. My wife was standing next to me and review the itinerary before I purchased the tickets. A few hours later, my wife started to stress out about what it means to watch three kids without my help. The next day she has an emotional break down. Ask me how I could be going for 4 nights. Why couldn't I spend three time as much to go for just 2 nights. She told me I was not thinking about her and the kids when I purchased the tickets. I said I understood and i can and im willing to cancel the flights. She insisted I still go. I was unable to consider the rescheduling the flights. I couldn't justify the cost. We could not take on more debt. I talked to my in-laws and asked them whether I should go or cancel my flights. They acknowledged the burden but encouraged me to go. They said they would help my wife as much as they could. 48 hours before my flight I asked my wife, are you sure I should go. She insisted I go but also said I was still not thinking about her.

At one point I considered it a no win situation and went on the flight. Now that I'm here, i receive multiple phone calls a day with my wife which entails her venting about how hard it is and asking why I had to be gone for 4 nights. She is questioning our marriage and asking whether I still love her. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/teeth_faerie on 2024-01-22 14:51:32+00:00.

I (18F) go to college about 30 minutes from my house, not my first choice but it is what it is. My friends and I go out to shows almost every weekend and I love it, I have never been part of a “group” like this and as a result, I experience a lot of anxiety if/when they ever hang out without me. This Friday is my dad’s birthday and it coincides with a show my friends and I have been really excited about for over a week. I don’t like going home in general, I come from a bit of a toxic home environment and, without getting too far into it, being at college has felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I have classes on Friday so I know there’s no way I could go home to visit my dad and still make it to the show on time. I went to my mom’s birthday earlier in the year because I didn’t have anything going on, there was a long plan in advance and, frankly, I’m just closer with my mom (of course I’d never tell them that).

I am considering asking him if we could celebrate another day, like after my classes on Thursday or during the day on Saturday. I don’t plan on abandoning him completely. My reasoning is that most kids going to college out of state do not feel obligated to go back and visit their parents every two weeks, so it’s unfair that I should have to. I know this might sound a bit selfish, but I’m honestly not sure if this would make me a certified asshole. WIBTA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sufficient_Use9977 on 2024-01-22 14:43:14+00:00.

AITA for wanting to transfer to another school. To be honest I don't know if this story fits here, but it's up the alley. I'm in 8th grade right now and the school that I'm at is horrible it's draining mentally without really learning anything new. It's slowly chipping away at not only my mental health but at my health in general.This year I had countless headaches and migraines. I convinced myself that I could resist going this year and the next and after that I would go away for college, but I can't resist mentally so I searched up an english school in my country that has a very well planned program. I was very excited with that idea without really thinking of the tuition fee and my parents supported me with the decision because they saw that I was mentally drained from this school. And then I found out the tuition fee and I don't know why I didn't saw that coming because it was a lot, at least for us. And this is where I feel selfish because my mom gave me the idea to start a donation campaign with the idea that maybe we'll reach that amount of money. I feel selfish because I don't need the transfer I could stay at this school and wait one more year to go to college instead of transfering and paying the money. So here I ask is it worth trying to transfer or should I stay at this school and would you donate in this situation?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Consistent_Place8923 on 2024-01-22 14:05:20+00:00.

We sold our house in early December 2023. The house has an in-ground pool and it was closed for the winter months prior to the sale. To hold all the pool equipment, we had two large deck boxes near the pool. These held things that most every pool owner needs: a vacuum hose/head, skimmer baskets/jets, chlorine containers, a submersible pump for the winter cover, a summer solar cover, and most importantly the filter unit. Everything was very neatly organized/stored for winter.

Closing day comes and the buyers do their walkthrough. We get a call from our realtor that there are still items left outside by the pool that need to be removed. We asked what items and they said the deck boxes. We said that the boxes contain the pool equipment which is why we left them behind. Well, the new owners wanted them removed. We asked if they just wanted the physical boxes removed and to instead leave the equipment in the garage but they said they wanted it all gone. We had them send a request in writing (through email to both realtors, our lawyer, and to us) specifically and clearly stating what they wanted removed from the property. We replied that what they wanted removed was the pool equipment and they replied stating it had to be removed or no sale.

So we agreed and removed it. Our new house doesn’t have a pool so I either sold or gave-away most of it, including the filter.

Last week we got an email from the new owners/their realtor asking where the pool equipment was. We were super confused and forwarded them the email chain where they told us to get rid of it. They apparently didn’t realize the boxes contained the pool equipment and thought we were leaving behind things like floats/toys. We replied that we had stated multiple times that the boxes contained "the pool equipment" but they still wanted it removed. They asked for reimbursement because now they have to buy equipment and we said no; we did exactly what they wanted and that this is no longer our concern. Our lawyer says we are in the clear.

AITA? They looked to be first-time homeowners (likely never owned a pool) but we were really really clear on what was in those boxes.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/tollogume on 2024-01-22 11:14:11+00:00.

I (16f) am very short and petite. It's been my defining feature in people's eyes for years, and I've recently become very tired of it. This guy from school has been crushing on me, and my dad suggested I give him a chance. I went to his house one night, and his friends were there. They were amused by me. They gave me nicknames like "tiny", "mouse", "hapless", etc. When my "boyfriend" joined in, I bit back and said at least I didn't have frequent voice cracks at 17 like him.

He seemed to laugh it off, but a few minutes later, he said they had an "initiation" where you had to go outside and do a "silly dance" for 5 minutes. So he sent me out in the pouring rain, and I did it. When I walked back, the door was locked and no one answered my knocking. I had to walk a mile home in an outfit I thought he'd like. And my dad asked what I did, and said I shouldn't have insulted him.

I started putting in effort to look more scary. More punk, leather pants and jackets, that stuff. My dad grounded me when I refused to look more in line with family values. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/FatherlyBoo933 on 2024-01-22 12:27:29+00:00.

My mom is being the MIL in law from hell to my wife right now and I snapped at her recently over this and have laid some boundaries down, but I am questioning my reaction to her.

So my wife Kenzie (25f) and I (25m) have been married for just over a year and we're expecting our first child this year. This will be my parents first grandchild and this has caused some craziness from my mom. She has aimed most of this at Kenzie but I did step in when I learned how pushy my mom became. This started right after our pregnancy announcement. My mom went to Kenzie and told her we should name our child Rodger if we had a boy and Elizabeth if we have a girl. Rodger was my mom's grandfather and she wanted to name me or one of my brothers Rodger but dad vetoed the name every time. Elizabeth is her favorite girl name and my dad vetoed that for my sister's too. Kenzie told her we weren't really looking for name suggestions and we had discussed a few already. My mom told her the names were important and should be used.

A couple of weeks after the first incident my mom asked Kenzie if she knew whether baby Rodger or baby Elizabeth was joining the family. Kenzie told her neither of those names were in the running and we didn't know yet.

Kenzie mentioned mom bringing up the names to me then but downplayed how pushy she was being so I said nothing at that point.

We learned we were having a boy and my mom became so pushy that she ordered blankets and clothes with the name Rodger embroidered on them. The first we knew of this is when she gave us a little door decoration with the name Rodger on it. I told my mom then that we hadn't finalized a name yet and wouldn't be announcing it until after he's here anyway.

She went to Kenzie yet again and told her she was pissing her off by refusing to comply. They argued about it and Kenzie told me about it afterward. I went to talk to my mom and make some things clear and she asked why nobody in this family wanted to use the names she loved. I told her that was something she should work through herself because we are not obligated to use them for her.

She then sent a gift package with all the clothes and blanket with the name Rodger and she sent them to my wife and posted them on social media. This made people assume we had chosen the name Rodger. This is when I lost it and went over to confront her about the pushiness. She told me it was important to take her opinion on board as my mom and our son's grandma. And that's when I told her she had zero rights to name our baby and her opinion wasn't wanted or important here. My mom told me it was rude to dismiss her opinion and her feelings as unimportant and I should have more respect for her.

It made me realize we need space from her right now but also I do wonder if I went too far. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Automatic_Search_123 on 2024-01-22 12:25:24+00:00.

So i (15m) am going to pass from 10th to 11th grade this winter break. Every year at my highschool they do this big mexican celebration (im in mexico) to clebrate our tradition and shiz, and everyone is mandated to participate in it. They give each grade a little post to sell food and drinks, and they give us a bunch of tickets so we can sell them and fund the party.

My (20f) sister went to the same school i am in and put herself as my tutor, wich means shes basically the one the school sends the emails and calls about tuition and stuff like that, so since shes alredy been to about 3 of this partys she knows the gist of it and was supposed to help me sell the tickets, aswell as my (50m) father who is the one who pays for the tuition. When i told him said "yeah ill help you sell em". A month passes and its a week before the party, and i had still not sold any tickets, and i forgot about them cause of exams and they where just collecting dust in my drawer.

Thats when my father tells me "hey you wanna go to seaworld with me n your stepmom?" Wich to i say "sure", but i was on the day of the party, wich i didnt really mind not going to cause its seaworld. After i return, the party is over and i never hear from the tickets again. A week after that, i get told by the principal i need to pay some late fees on tuition n extra stuff (wich i presume where the tickets), i tell my dad and he pays with some troubles from the sales department at the highschool, but it gets resolved.

Mind this is in late september, jump to a week ago at the end of the winter break when my sister comes to me saying "hey, i just got a call from school saying you need to pay for the tickets you had to sell, how many did you sell?" And i told her "none, i didnt go to the party, plus, you n dad didnt really help me sell shit" to wich she gets mad at me for "not being responsible" and i tell her "tf was i supposed to do???" To wich she responded "you couldve sold them to your friends" wich i did try, none of them wanted to get in extra dept. she tells me that we have to pay for the tickets, and i ask her how much is it, SHE SAYS 30 BUCKS PER TICKET. I found the old strip of tickets amd counted 16, wich means at a total it would cost us about 400-500 dollars.

now my sister and mom are mad at me for this, and i dont even know if my father knows yet, and i cant sell them now that the party was done 4 months ago, i honestly dont think im the ah in this situation, cause this is the first of this partys i was in and my sister was supposed to help me out, she did nothing, and my father was supposed to help me sell the dang tickets, he also did nothing, i did my part to the best of my knoledge and they did not help at all, now my family is mad at me....

so reddit. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/liliilyla on 2024-01-22 12:10:13+00:00.

So basically, I'm under 18 and live with my single mom. She's been hurt in the past by men and I understand that she wants me to be safe, but I really don't understand her rules in the house.

I got a phone later than people at my age, which is understandable, but when I text to someone or take photos of myself on Snapchat (I just save those photos in memories, I have no one added in my snap), she glares at me like I'm doing some sort of unwanted things.

Day before yesterday, I asked her if I could go hang out with my friends, she said I could go if she come with me too. me and my friends wanted to watch a movie without anyone's watch, so I told her to not come. After a long time of talking, she put a curfew to 6 pm. I was going out at 3 pm, so I thought it would be okay.

So, we went out with my friends and I got a call from my mom about at 5.25 pm telling me why am I so late. I left the movie theater and told her that my curfew is at 6 and I had 35 minutes for myself. The are was quite noisy because of the crowd and the teasers playing, she said that she was behind me at the bar I was in.

I told her I was at the movie theater, but she insisted on that I was in a bar and she was watching me. I told her I was on my way back home and hung up, told my friends about the situation and why I needed to go, one of my friends told me I could stay at her house for the night. I kindly refused and went back home.

When I entered, she asked me why I was so late AGAIN (?) and I checked told her that i still hadn't passed my curfew (it was about 5.50 pm or so) which she refused, telling me my curfew is at 5 pm.

she took my phone by force and went through it like she always did unexpectedly. after seeing me sending a heart as a thank you my male teacher, she started yelling and questioning me if I was being a w..... while she was thinking I was studying to become a nurse (I have blood phobia).

I lost it. for the first time in my whole life, I yelled at my mother, telling she was trying to gaslight me to things never existed and forced me to things I've never wanted.

things happened that I don't wanna tell here (I can say that I've got a split lip so you can imagine what happened), but I'm grounded for a week without eating dinners and away from technology. I managed to find my phone while she is doing groceries, so I can ask if I'm the wrong one or not.

I think I might've a bit overreacted for yelling at her but I think the punishment I got is way worse than what I did. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aita-throw-sis56 on 2024-01-22 11:57:06+00:00.

So I (25F) live with my younger sister "Nina" (21F) to save money (we both pay the rent equally). I also host regular D&D sessions and recently we got a new player. All seemed well until my sis came home, said a quick hello to everyone and went to her room. After the session the new player immediately turned to me and asked if she's single. She is but she is also completely uninterested in a relationship. The way she puts it 'Men are pretty, women are pretty, cats are pretty. That does not mean I want to date any of them'. Since I didn't want to tell him the details I just told him she's not interested. He promptly accused me of being jealous and told me that's for her to decide. I basically said 'You aren't her or my type, trust me.' He got offended and started berating me, so I told him not to come to any more sessions. The next day one of the other players told me I overreacted but I don't want someone like that in my home. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/unwantedvisit on 2024-01-22 11:56:46+00:00.

About three years ago, my stepsister Daphne got pregnant. She and her husband Jim were thrilled, but found out at the 20 week scan that the baby had a congenital condition and would be born severely disabled (apologies if these are insensitive terms, I am not sure how people prefer to say it?). Daphne decided to keep going with the pregnancy despite Jim’s protests and they split up, but got back together by the time their son Liam was born. He is now 2 years old.

Over the last two years, Daphne’s (and Jim’s) mental health has declined significantly. Daphne used to be a positive and pleasant person, but now it’s impossible to have a conversation with her. She is malicious, envious, and flies off the handle at any perceived slight. When I was having my child, I didn’t speak to her for most of the pregnancy because of how bitter and narcissistic she was. We don’t live close to Daphne so rarely see her in person, but I heard she was getting worse from our parents. In early November, Daphne had a mental breakdown. She trashed Liam’s room completely and vandalised Jim’s car in a fit of rage. This was enough to finally get her moved up the waiting list for mental health services and she started therapy. She reached out to me during this time and we had a few conversations and I invited her and Jim to visit my husband and I for a vacation at our beach house in March.

Then we saw Daphne and Jim over Christmas and it was awful. Daphne could keep herself in check for a couple of hours, but then she would revert back to her old self. She would swear constantly, and while I know Liam can’t understand her, I think swearing at kids isn’t okay. Whenever I expressed concern for her she would just snap that I need to get off my high horse about having a “perfect” child. Jim was snapping at her constantly. He would also constantly ask to hold or play with my child, to the point it got annoying. Overall, the whole Christmas break was just the whole family being anxious over the situation.

My husband finally said a week ago that he didn’t want Daphne and Jim visiting, and I agreed. I called Daphne and said that something had come up with my husband’s work and we needed to cancel the trip. Daphne was furious. Apparently her therapist had been saying how good this break would be for her (they haven’t been on vacation since having Liam) and I owed her this one thing to help her. Eventually she gave up and said I was a horrible person for pulling the rug out from under her and hung up.

I feel bad if I’m derailing her recovery, and even my parents think I shouldn’t have cancelled, which is making me rethink things. They saw how absolutely horrible she was to me over Christmas, they saw how obsessed Jim became with my child, and they still think I should have put that aside, and they’re not normally the “keep the peace” people, so maybe I really am in the wrong. AITA here?