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What should I do (inherit from mother) (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I am currently in a really awkward situation. My mother doesn't like my brother but visits him once a week to take care of his child.

But I know they talk trash behind her back and she talks trash behind their back. Both I don't want to be part of and I distance my self from both sides in that case... I have a feeling it is more of my brothers wife that is causing the drama because she is bringing weird stuff up to my wife about me but I don't care.

Either way... I don't want to go deep into that issue because it isn't my issue.

My mother is living in a house and she doesn't want my brother to get anything because I do most of the work. I drive her around, help in the yard,, I help her with her mother (my grandma), I generally have a good relationship with her.

My brother is complete opposite. His wife said they would never want the house because it is in a small town and they like the city more. Now suprise, they are looking for a house but currently unaffordable and they are joking about my house in a small town next to a loud church.

Now that my mother is living in a huge house alone they sometimes say things like: "I wish we had a house for our family": "A house would be so good"- "but not a house next to a church"... etc. so kind of like they are expecting my mother to say "Here are the keys, move in".

I have a decent relationship with my brother and his wife, not awesome but not bad. If he wasn't my brother I wouldn't have anything to do with him though.

Either way I am repairing most of my mothers house, redoing a lot of stuff so my mom can live in a "nice" house with new tiles, walls,... and our wish was to live in that house one day too - basically sell the house that we currently live in that is next to the church lol.

My mother won't talk with him and she said I will get the house and it's already on paper (notary) too but in my country we have a forced 25% inherit. I would have to pay him 25% of the house and thats not really the issue. My problem is he isn't doing anything for my mom and in general it is a totally weird situation because they are both speculating on moving into the house one day (kind of) or using that money from selling the house to buy a new one.

It's like I already know they are getting 25% because of how they are treating our mom (ignoring her, not visiting with the grandson and not calling, not asking if everything is okay etc.) but I feel like I would be happy with 50/50 one day. But from my moms view ven 75/25 is horrible, she'd go full 100% on me.

Edit: I hope it is clear that I don't have an issue with my brother but I feel the inherit of 25% that I already know he will be getting will cause conflict. I didn't choose it and I told my mom to talk with them but she only says: "Normally you don't have to tell your son to visit with grandson if they are only 20 minutes drive away". I mean she isn't wrong though but somehow this is gonna be a conflict one day. The last thing she said was: "I won't talk with him and you are getting the house, 75% of everything I own and he is getting the forced inherit of the law and if you want to give him 50/50 to avoid conflict - I am not here I don't care do whatever you want and give him more money or half the house"

Now just observing of what he is doing for my mother and how inherit should function I do think he doesn't deserve anything. But I mean come on isn't that unfair? On the other side I am sacrificing my free time repairing her house and replacing old stuff with new stuff she is buying (tiles, floor, furniture,...) and he isnt helping at all.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Check into the 25% system more. There are likely exceptions and ways to sidestep, if you act while your Mother is still alive.

In the USA transferring the home's title is one method.

Do talk with a professional. If things get ugly you will need a professional. It is cheaper to discuss before conflicts start.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Transferring the house early cannot be overstated. You may have to pay whatever tax, but, it may reduce so many headaches