Science Memes

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Grirrrll.... (mander.xyz)

submitted 4 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 4 weeks ago (6 children)

Imagine all the designer gastroliths. Gucci rocks in your stomach. All the snake oil ones that “cleanse”, “detox”, or have positive ionic charges or something. Someone surely would suggest plastic, or those would be the cheap ones at gas stations. At some point, we would have had people shilling asbestos or uranium gastroliths as good for you. Someone else would pick rocks up along stream beds and sell them as “organic”, nevermind the parasites or other possible diseases attached to them. Someone would push bullshit medical rocks instead of vaccines as cures for diseases.

Lol, people would make a mess of plain old rocks.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 weeks ago

College bros would compete to swallow the roughest and sharpest ones. There would be a Silicon Valley startup trying to "disrupt" gastroliths with a "smart stomach stone" that gathered data about what you're eating and sold it to McDonald's and Kroger. Couples who were really serious would prove it by regurgitating and swapping stones. The "raw gut" movement would be trying to convince people that they didn't need gastroliths, they just needed to eat softer foods.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Damn, this was eye-opening. I seem to hate humans quite a bit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

Well think of the actual "real" rocks though. Some humans would've put time, effort, and thought into testing a safe, effective, and healthy mass scale solution

That's what makes humans cool!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

It would absolutely be a fetish too

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Smart Gastroliths would definitely be a thing. Ai enhanced gyroscopic gastrolith for assisted fiber digestion.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago

Guarantee that it's only a matter of time that some snake oil company would release a gastolith that actually gives off positive ions because it contains thorium.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

remember to sterilize your gastroliths, but be careful so you don't create microfractures that might splinter off in your stomach and kill you! Just stick to smooth polished rocks washed in soap.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago

There would definitely be vibrating rocks