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I'm going to be 35 and nothing changes my life has been a boring slow downward spiral. Sometimes I welcome death to take me but unless it's a heart attack I don't see that happening anytime soon. And I don't feel like ending myself.

Still sexless, loveless with literary no friends and with a temp job that I dislike. I just drift in this world, I guess I could be worse, living under a bridge, but I still live with my mother and uncle, sleeping in a minuscule room shared with my uncle (he's another "loser" like me in his late 40s non married living with his sister, my mom). I'm sure y'all heard this before, life is unfair, and it's true, and I'm sure some other people out there are doing worse than me and are better "fighters" in life. But I'm not them, I'll never be them, it's not in me being that type of person.

Btw I'm not saying this just to get a response from you and I don't need a "happy birthday" reply... If anything that would piss me off more due being insincere, you are not my family and you don't care about me in the slightest (and rightfully so). But I just needed to say this to ease my pain.

Now maybe you can understand why I welcome the reaper, maybe you can tell me if you're in a similar situation.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Do drugs. If it's nothing or suicide then at least give drugs a chance. You can create your own happiness and motivation with drugs. Start with low dose adderall. Raise the dose and add weed and video games to it. Then try loratabs/percocets. Then try learning something new. Scroll thru Udemy for ideas of shit to learn. Then learn/take a course... wait for it... ON DRUGS! Getting a high off small accomplishments that were accomplished by being high is a great feeling. Disclaimer tho: you'll prolly start smoking cigs but they'll cure cig cancer before you'll get it if you are just starting now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

That shit isn't available here and the process of visiting a doctor is awful here. Plus I've never done drugs, I think. I wanna keep that clean. Not for any type of moral compass but because fuck it. I don't even smoke.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't recommend trying anything you could get addicted to, I think that's a good call. But psychedelics are non addictive and they're starting to be used to treat depression etc. If you're serious about not wanting to be alive, I think its not a bad idea to try that first.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

Lacking trustworthy connections to acquire and trip-sit, as well as the right state-of-mind for it in the first place. In other words, the same exact issue.

On top of that... any chance at that working likely depends on needing a mental re-alignment, as-in not living with on-going despair-inducing issues.