this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
587 points (99.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

20829 readers
1361 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

You are missing the parts where they pull the wildest possible estimate out of their ass, then blame the worker for not living up to it.

Oh uh... is that just me? Okay then...

[–] zqwzzle 22 points 2 weeks ago

While the deadline for the previous task is also not pushed out.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

PM: "How long is developing this feature going to take?"

Me: "Due to all the refactoring that's needed --which I've been repeatedly bringing up for two years -- just to implement it, it's going to take about 6 months."

PM: "Is there any way you can have it ready for the release in two weeks?"

Me: "No."

PM: Proceeds to tell everyone that it will be ready for the release in two weeks.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

img

Don't worry, it's not like crucial decisions such as whether or not you get to keep your job depend on the outcome...

img

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Due to all the refactoring that’s needed --which I’ve been repeatedly bringing up for two years

Never let that accumulate for that long. Continuously do small refactors to improve the structure.

Always spend at least 20% of the time on stuff you know is necessary, but will never be prioritized by marketing heads.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Always spend at least 20% of the time on stuff you know is necessary, but will never be prioritized by marketing heads.

This is the way.

Leadership: Please don't prioritize code cleanup, we have critical features we need to release.

Me: Oh. I didn't realize you were taking ownership of (complex code no one wants to be associated with). I've got diagrams I can send you.

Leadership: No, that's still yours. We just need you to focus on these features, and not any planned maintenance, for just the next sprint.

Me: So you'll take over guiding maintenance on (complex source code no one wants to get near)? I can send you the backlog for your project plans...

Leadership: That's not what we're saying. Please just prioritize the feature.

Me: Oh. Sure. I will prioritize that feature, and I'll only do the bare minimum cleanup that can't be avoided, right now. (Which will turn out to be however much cleanup I damn well please, because their eyes glaze over if I explain it, anyway.)

Leadership: Now you're getting it!

Me: Gee whiz. Thanks for talking it through with me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

however much cleanup I damn well please

The programmer is the expert to make the decision on what’s necessary to implement a feature.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

We are implementing the feature in this two week sprint. (It is a four week task and is not amenable to being further decomposed - at least not with meaningful exit criteria.)