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While I agree words can offend, I challenge your understanding of linguistics: no word is intrinsically bad. They're signs & symbols with arbitrary, often conventional meaning.
Usage & context matter. Take any euphemism & say it in a hateful manner: now it's offensive. Lifewise, take any offensive word & speak of it in an inoffensive manner: not offensive. Language is flexible.
I agree with your criticism of "intrinsic." "Intrinsically" as I thought of it means that there's been a consolidation step that builds in all of the cultural baggage into the "carried" meaning of the word. I think even if there's no absolute "intrinsic" meaning, with sufficient cultural use, that negative meaning is impossible to extricate from an unironic, active use of the word. But of course every word can change its meaning, no debate there.
I think it's a little academic to say "any offensive word" can be said in an "inoffensive manner" - yes, words in a theatrical play do not convey an offensive meaning against the audience; words said ironically as a criticism of the word and user of the word can be used satirically, but we'd then need to debate what it means to "use" a word in an offensive context versus another. (In any case, "inoffensive" use is not what Elon is doing. He's following adolescent edgelord troll rules, which is using it unironically while exulting in other people's offense, and playing the victim of woke culture when called on it.)