this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 year ago

Of course he still wouldn't be a real king, it's just simple biology

[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm in favor of royal exploration therapy in the meantime, just so he can understand all his options. We'll ask relevant questions like:

  • Do you think about your title when you masterbate?

  • Were you ever touched inappropriately as a child?

  • What role do you enjoy in sex?

  • Does your royal... confusion stem from how it was modeled in your family?

  • Do you get aroused at the thought of suppressing peasant uprisings?

  • Are you aware that you'll never be a real leader? You'll never be valid without becoming authoritarian and suppressing free speech. You can always desist at any time, but there will be irreversible damage if you change your mind too late.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Poor King Chuckles.

He’s waited his whole life to get the crown than he gets ass-cancer and people still disrespect his authority.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Rusty 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'm an emperor because a moistened bint threw a scimitar at me!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

God himself gave him his authority, he doesn’t need your vote.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, I talked with the FSM, they said the one true king of England was Wade Boggs.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's why he'd be such a good king!

All the tourism benefits, none of the problems.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

It worked for the French.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm in fovour of conversion therapy, everyone should be prevented from being a king/queen. there is even a simple french cure for this issue

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

there is even a simple french cure for this issue

I've heard HRT (head removal therapy) has been massively successful in transitioning monarchies to democracies

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago

People have fought many wars to not have to recognize kings. We're standing on their shoulders. Maybe the UK will catch up someday. In the meantime, let's dethrone ALL of the billionaires.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

Plus he should be presenting very stereotypically like a kig for 2 years before

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
And build them a home, a little place of their own
The Fletcher Memorial
Home for Incurable
Tyrants and Kings

And they can appear to themselves everyday
On closed circuit TV
To make sure they're still real
It’s the only connection they feel

-- Roger Waters, The Fletcher Memorial Home

Even in the early 1980s, some of us bleeding hearts and artists saw and knew.